Personal Development Training and Motivational Humor from the Motivational Smart Ass!

If your life was a TV show, would it be like American Idol? I hope not. Read on to see why…

I’ll admit it, I have gotten sucked into the ratings juggernaut known as American Idol. I have even written blog posts about the show ( like here, for example).

But as I think back over my years of watching the show I realize that I almost never watch the show live. The reason I never watch it live is that when I watch it off my DVR I don’t need to sit through all the fluff and can forward through huge chunks of the show. (If you are wondering, no, I have never voted. That’s the only way I can watch and still look at myself in the morning)

I have sometimes gotten through an entire two hour episode of Idol in about 20 minutes. How, you ask? Here’s the fluff I cut:

• Commercials obviously get skipped
• The “human interest” videos before they perform is useless
• If the guest mentor is boring, the whole section gets skipped. If it’s someone cool I’ll watch some, but usually not all of that
• I usually don’t watch the entire performance. Lots of times I don’t like the song, and quite often the performance is kind of boring. I’ll give it 10-20 seconds to grab me, and if it doesn’t I skip to the end to see the “big finish”
• The judges…ah the judges…I range anywhere from skipping straight to Simon to at least giving each judge a chance to say something intelligent before hitting the forward button.
• Then there’s all the Seacrest fluff. Skip! (Although I will say, as popular as it is to bash him, I actually like Seacrest as a host. I think he does a nice job, and sometimes his banter with the contestants and Simon is the most interesting part of the show…)

There you go. That is how you watch a 2-hour show in 20 minutes.

At this point you may be wondering why I watch the show or whether I even like it. Well I do like it. And I watch it because I am very curious about the contestants and the results, and once in a while I see a performance I love. I have even become a Daughtry and Kelly Clarkson fan (shut up, she’s good…)

You may also be wondering if there are shows I actually do watch in their entirety, or if I just skim everything. As a matter of fact, there are shows I fully watch. Lost, 24, and The Office are three shows I devote 100% of my attention to and watch attentively from start to finish.

To me, American Idol is a show that has a few great moments and that I am curious to see the outcome of. The other programs are shows that I pay fill attention to.

What does this have to do with you?

Well, this got me thinking: if my life was a show, which one of these categories would it fall into? Is my life interesting enough to be paid attention to everyday in everything I do? Or is it made up of the occasional great moment and the rest is just waiting around to see how it all turns out.

I’m not saying that every second of every day needs to be some over the top huge activity. Periods of rest, relaxation, and just doing nothing are awesome and necessary. But when it comes down to it, would you rather build a life that people would pay rapt attention to or one where people would want to skim through most of it? If you don’t care about what others think (not a bad strategy) then would you rather build a life that you would pay rapt attention to or one where you would want to skim through most of it?

Take a second to think about the life you are building for yourself. Does it have the level of “watchability” you’d like? If not, what can you do this week to change that?

Whatever level of watchability you pick is fine. If you want a skimmable life, that’s cool. If not, take action now. Only you know whether you’re happy with what you’re doing…

The one thing I know for sure, if my life was a TV show, those two hours – or twenty minutes – I spend watching American Idol would definitely be parts I would forward right on past…

Yesterday I wrote a post about the importance of tapping your creativity. I think in writing that post I stirred up some deep seated childhood memory from a time I was in elementary school. I am going to share that memory with you now…

(Don’t worry, this story involves nothing illegal, nothing that requires real therapy, and nothing that involves me waking up at 2am in a cold sweat screaming “bad touch!” But it does involve a short-sighted approach to teaching that may be responsible for stamping out kids’ creativity)

Waaaaaay back when I was in elementary school, I think the third grade, we used to periodically have “creative writing assignments.” We would be given a topic and then have to write a story on that topic. I remember one time vividly not because the topic was awesome or interesting, but rather for the feedback I received.

The topic was, “what if all the clocks and watches in the world stopped working?” My comic-book reading, cartoon watching, sci-fi absorbing, superhero obsessed mind immediately went to the fantastical. I wove a tale involving time stopping, the Earth slowing down, and a protagonist’s quest to set it all right again.

Guess what comment was written on the story when I got it back?

“Why would all this happen just because the clocks stopped?”

What.

The.

@#$%…?

Ok, sure, logically, that was a valid question. Clocks stopping doesn’t necessitate a monkey wrench in the same time continuum. But keep in mind, this was a third grade CREATIVE writing assignment.

Isn’t the point supposed to be to be creative??

What really got my goat was some other wrote a story that essentially involved the main character being confused for a while and eventually asking a policeman for help. That’s it. He got an “excellent.”

I repeat: What. The. @#$%…?

Creative writing people. Creative. Like how Superman turned back time at the end of the Superman movie. Or how Luke Skywalker can use the Force to blow up the Death Star. Or how a man can blow up a shark with an oxygen tank and a well aimed rifle. Creative!

(Come on, you can’t tell me that this isn’t more ridiculous than my story of time stopping!)

And yet because my fantastical tale didn’t conform to the instructor’s expectations, I was criticized for it.

I think two things are obvious here: 1) This event clearly had an impact on me, since I’m writing about it almost thirty years later. 2) Things worked out ok for me, as being creative has become my stock in trade.

But what about others? How many kids do you think are out there having their creativity questioned or criticized to a point where they just give up? How many adults are walking around today feeling uncreative and blocked simply because they were influenced to give up long ago?

This is by no means an indictment of teachers. Like any profession, teachers vary. But it doesn’t have to be a teacher; parents, friends, relatives, or any influential person could effectively beat the creativity out of a kid.

Lesson #1: If you are in any position to influence a child’s development, please, please reward and value their creativity. Even if you don’t get it.

Lesson #2: If you had the creativity beat out of you as a kid, don’t give up! It’s never too late to start, and that creative well is always inside of you. Check out this audio. Read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Hell, just sit down and try writing something.

Don’t let a well intentioned but wrong minded person or influence from your past stop you from being the fully creative person you can be!

Did you know that an utter lack of creativity can hurt a relationship? Here’s a story to illustrate the point…

I have a couple of very good friends, George and Kelly (not their real names), who are getting married in the Fall. Kelly’s sister, Sheila, just married John (also not their real names).

George and Kelly are pretty set on having a certain song play when they are introduced at their reception (I won’t say which lest you steal it for yourself…) Sheila and John, in preparation for their wedding, were picking music they wanted their bridal party to enter the reception to. Kelly, being the Maid of Honor, was of course included in this group. Lo and behold, Sheila and John picked that exact song for George and Kelly to walk in to! (I guess it was a very appropriate song for them)

A few weeks before the wedding, George and Kelly politely say, “we were planning on coming in to that for our wedding, so we’d appreciate it if you could pick anything but that.” Sheila says ok. Should be the end of the story, right…?

Cut to dinner the week of the wedding. John announces that they will be using the song in question for their reception. What?! As my friend put it in an email to me: “What do you think about X?” “Anything but X…we had our hearts set on it for our wedding and would like our choice to be original.” “Ok then, don’t worry about it. And oh by the way, we’re using X. Sorry about your luck.”

Why on earth would someone do that? I can think of only two reasons:

• They’re evil bad people who like to screw over others. I don’t think this is the case (I like to give people the benefit of the doubt).
• They are so lacking in creativity that once they got the idea of using the first song stuck in their heads, they could not come up an alternative.

This almost became a huge point of contention, mostly because it was the equivalent of saying to someone, “yes, I know this is what you want, and I know I said that would be fine, but you know what? I don’t care. I am going to disregard your wishes and do whatever the h*** I want!” Not a very congenial, relationship building attitude.

Fortunately, a third party stepped in before World War III erupted and the situation resolved before the big day.

Though disaster was averted, there are two key lessons here:

Lesson #1 – Learn to tap your creativity!!

We all get in this place: you have an idea, and for whatever reason that idea doesn’t work. Then you find it so difficult to let that idea go and come up with another one. This comes from having a true scarcity mentality when it comes to generating ideas. “Oh, I’ll never come up with anything as perfect as this first idea!” Poppycock!

Ideas are infinite. Believe that, accept that, live that, and you will be set in business and life.

Once you embody this idea, you will find that not only do you a) generate even better ideas when you let your first “super-duper” one go, but also b) you are able to come up with solutions that make everyone happy, not just you. That is a valuable skill indeed.

(If you want practice developing your creativity, this free audio will help…)

Lesson #2 – Offer alternatives!

As I said, I am happy to give Sheila and John the benefit of the doubt and assume that they were not trying to be dumbasses. They just, like so many people, didn’t know how to tap their creativity. So, when faced with the idea of “anything but that song” they came up blank.

I am certainly not trying to blame George and Kelly, but in many of these situations rather than saying, “anything but X,” saying, “anything but X…how about Y or Z?” can go a long way. You provide the creativity for them. Be open to them coming up with their own alternative, but start the thinking process for them. Sad to say, but a lot of people don’t want to think and will just take the path of least resistance. Provide that path for them, and you are more likely to achieve the result you want.

Keep these ideas in mind the next time you find yourself clinging to a “really great idea.” Letting it go may just end up being the best thing for everyone involved…

P.S. I’m in George and Kelly’s wedding party. If my music is not “Tom Sawyer” by Rush or some choice selection from the WWE’s “entrance music” collection there will be hell to pay…

You may some day find yourself invited to join a Smurf village. I’m not saying it’s likely, but you never know. If so, and if you want to fit in, you are going to need to adopt a Smurf name.

For those of you unfamiliar with them, Smurfs are these annoying little blue creatures who live in mushrooms and have all sorts of adventures. They also have one of the most mind-numbingly addictive “can’t get it out of your head” theme songs ever (I’ll spare you the link, lest you get it trapped in your head).

As individuals, Smurfs are rather one-dimensional. You see, almost every Smurf’s name is of the form: “[Fill in an adjective] Smurf.” The adjective describes the Smurf and everything the Smurf does fits that adjective.

For example, Jokey Smurf plays jokes on everyone (his main joke is handing them an exploding present which begs two questions: 1) why do other Smurfs keep opening his presents and 2) if he is constantly blowing people up wouldn’t “Jerk Smurf” or “Felony Smurf” be a better name?), Hefty Smurf is strong and is always doing the heavy lifting, Handy Smurf fixes things, and Grouchy Smurf is a foul tempered misanthrope.

(Of course one the exceptions to the “[Fill in an adjective] Smurf” naming convention was the Smurfs first, and for a while, only, female member. Her name? Smurfette. yes, the Smurfs had one female and she didn’t even get an adjective; she was reduced to just being a female. Talk about objectification. The women’s right activists must have had a field day…)

So the question is “if you were to find yourself in a Smurf village, what would your Smurf Name be?” Or more relevantly: what would others say your Smurf name is?

Would you be Funny Smurf? Happy Smurf? Generous Smurf? Or something less desirable, like, Jerk Smurf, Negative Smurf, or just straight-up Dumbass Smurf?

You may not want to be reduced to a single adjective, but hey, guess what? That’s what other people do to you all the time. First impressions are powerful things, and your default “adjective,” whatever it may be, will come across. You may make yourself feel better by saying, “well, if they got to know me they would know that I am a cool person,” but why not just let that through from the get-go?

Take a second and think about the vibe you are sending out to the world. And if you don’t like it, start acting like something a little more “Smurfy!”

P.S. For those of you who don’t like Smurfs and would like to…I don’t know…maybe see a nuclear bomb dropped on their village, look no further: