How a Lack of Creativity Can Lead to a Relationship Breakdown

Did you know that an utter lack of creativity can hurt a relationship? Here’s a story to illustrate the point…

I have a couple of very good friends, George and Kelly (not their real names), who are getting married in the Fall. Kelly’s sister, Sheila, just married John (also not their real names).

George and Kelly are pretty set on having a certain song play when they are introduced at their reception (I won’t say which lest you steal it for yourself…) Sheila and John, in preparation for their wedding, were picking music they wanted their bridal party to enter the reception to. Kelly, being the Maid of Honor, was of course included in this group. Lo and behold, Sheila and John picked that exact song for George and Kelly to walk in to! (I guess it was a very appropriate song for them)

A few weeks before the wedding, George and Kelly politely say, “we were planning on coming in to that for our wedding, so we’d appreciate it if you could pick anything but that.” Sheila says ok. Should be the end of the story, right…?

Cut to dinner the week of the wedding. John announces that they will be using the song in question for their reception. What?! As my friend put it in an email to me: “What do you think about X?” “Anything but X…we had our hearts set on it for our wedding and would like our choice to be original.” “Ok then, don’t worry about it. And oh by the way, we’re using X. Sorry about your luck.”

Why on earth would someone do that? I can think of only two reasons:

• They’re evil bad people who like to screw over others. I don’t think this is the case (I like to give people the benefit of the doubt).
• They are so lacking in creativity that once they got the idea of using the first song stuck in their heads, they could not come up an alternative.

This almost became a huge point of contention, mostly because it was the equivalent of saying to someone, “yes, I know this is what you want, and I know I said that would be fine, but you know what? I don’t care. I am going to disregard your wishes and do whatever the h*** I want!” Not a very congenial, relationship building attitude.

Fortunately, a third party stepped in before World War III erupted and the situation resolved before the big day.

Though disaster was averted, there are two key lessons here:

Lesson #1 – Learn to tap your creativity!!

We all get in this place: you have an idea, and for whatever reason that idea doesn’t work. Then you find it so difficult to let that idea go and come up with another one. This comes from having a true scarcity mentality when it comes to generating ideas. “Oh, I’ll never come up with anything as perfect as this first idea!” Poppycock!

Ideas are infinite. Believe that, accept that, live that, and you will be set in business and life.

Once you embody this idea, you will find that not only do you a) generate even better ideas when you let your first “super-duper” one go, but also b) you are able to come up with solutions that make everyone happy, not just you. That is a valuable skill indeed.

(If you want practice developing your creativity, this free audio will help…)

Lesson #2 – Offer alternatives!

As I said, I am happy to give Sheila and John the benefit of the doubt and assume that they were not trying to be dumbasses. They just, like so many people, didn’t know how to tap their creativity. So, when faced with the idea of “anything but that song” they came up blank.

I am certainly not trying to blame George and Kelly, but in many of these situations rather than saying, “anything but X,” saying, “anything but X…how about Y or Z?” can go a long way. You provide the creativity for them. Be open to them coming up with their own alternative, but start the thinking process for them. Sad to say, but a lot of people don’t want to think and will just take the path of least resistance. Provide that path for them, and you are more likely to achieve the result you want.

Keep these ideas in mind the next time you find yourself clinging to a “really great idea.” Letting it go may just end up being the best thing for everyone involved…

P.S. I’m in George and Kelly’s wedding party. If my music is not “Tom Sawyer” by Rush or some choice selection from the WWE’s “entrance music” collection there will be hell to pay…

About

By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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