ALL CAPS IS SHOUTING!!

Posted on August 31, 2009 by Avish

(Photo by Mike on Maui)

(Photo by Mike on Maui)

To all of you who have been living under a rock for the past 15 years, let let you in on a little secret: TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS THE WRITTEN EQUIVALENT OF SHOUTING!

You may be thinking, “Avish, that is so obvious. Why are you wasting our time pointing this out?”

Sadly, I still see emails, tweets, and blog and forum comments around the internet where people will send the entire thing in all caps.

Why? Why? WHY OH WHY??

(See how on the last “why oh why” it seemed like I was shouting?)

Email has been around for a long time and, to underestimate it by quite a bit, email has been a primary form of human communication for at least ten years. Hasn’t the rule about not using all caps in emails been around since the dawn of time? (at last since the dawn of email time?) If not, isn’t it obvious to people when reading or composing their emails that all caps is a bit off-putting?

If it’s so obvious, why do people still do it? I have come up with five reasons a person may use ALL CAPS:

You are using some technology that only uses all caps

I don’t know, this seems like kind of a lame excuse. Does technology like this exist? A keyboard that lets you send emails but only allows you to use capital letters? And if so, are the emails you are sending from such a device so vital that you can’t wait a little bit until you can get in front of a real keyboard?

You are incapable of understanding how to use technology correctly

Looks lile even Oprah makes this mistake. Good thing Shaq was there to straighten her out <br /> (Photo by marksdk)

Looks lile even Oprah makes this mistake. Good thing Shaq was there to straighten her out
(Photo by marksdk)


Some people, like brand new computer users, may not even realize that it is possible to use lower case letters. Or they may not know how. This excuse holds water for maybe the first day or two you are using a computer. If you can learn the technology well enough to send emails, then you can learn the tech well enough to not send annoying messages.

You are too lazy to use technology correctly

Now we are getting closer to the heart of it. Some people are too lazy to take the time to compose a properly formatted message. Hitting caps lock doesn’t seem all the hard to me, but I suppose for some people it’s a real chore. And I know some mobile devices are a pain to switch cases. In those situations, either use all lower case (at least you won’t be shouting) or again, as in reason 1, wait until you are at a real keyboard to send your email!

You think it will help add “emphasis”

Here’s the thought process: “Hmm, I want to make sure the recipient knows I am really serious about this point, so I’ll write the entire email to make them really notice.” Oh, they’ll notice. They’ll notice how annoying you are. A judiciously used all caps word in a normally written message can add emphasis. But when you CAPS the entire message you lose the ability to emphasize anything.

You really want to SHOUT!

Maybe you’re thinking, “but Avish, I know all caps is shouting. That’s why I used it! I was pissed and I wanted to let them know.” Ease up there, Rage-a-holic. Do you really think sending an angry, all caps email is going to resolve anything? Remember, email is just another form of communication. As such, you may want to take minute to think about whether your communication will get the response you want. If you want the other person to get pissed off, discount your opinion, and fire back with an angry message of their own, then all caps is the way to go! If, however, you prefer to be a rational adult human being, then realize that if you are at the point where you really want to shout at someone then a) you should take some time before replying (the ability to do this is one big advantage email has over other communication forms) and b) email is probably no longer the best form of communication to use. In either case, all caps will only make the situation worse.

There really isn’t a good reason to use all caps in written communication. Reasons 1-3 are just dumb. Reason 4 is just a misguided mistake. And if you are sing reason 5, and you really want to SHOUT at someone, take a step back, breathe, wait a little bit, and realize that there are much better and more powerful ways to get your communication across.

NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO COMPOSE SOME EMAILS…

Posted in Business Advice, Motivation & Success | 2 Comments

Would Bruce Wayne be Jealous of Batman?

Posted on August 28, 2009 by Avish

Sometimes, even superheroes can be in conflict with themselves...

Sometimes, even superheroes can be in conflict with themselves...

Here’s a weird question, suitably random for a Friday:

If you were a superhero with a secret identity, and you were in a relationship with someone who did not know about your alter ego, would you be jealous if you found out that they were attracted to/hitting on your superhero persona?

(I know, it’s weird, I have superheroes on the brain this week)

As an example, say you’re Bruce Wayne (who happens to be Batman) and you’re in a committed relationship with a woman. Let’s call her Jill. Over time, you notice that Jill seems pretty interested in Batman news stories. Then, one day, when you are out fighting crime as Batman, you rescue Jill from a mugger. After you save her, you notice that she is pretty clearly hitting on you. Batting the eyelashes. Touching your manly Bat-Arms. Complaining about the importance of “getting you out of your wet Bat-Suit” before you catch cold. That sort of thing.

How would you respond? Would you:

  1. Be jealous? Maybe you say, “hey! You’re dating Bruce Wayne. Why are you hitting on Batman?” Then you wonder what she does on the cold lonely nights when it’s just her and Dick Grayson (a.k.a “Robin, the Bot Wonder”) hanging around stately Wayne manor…
  2. Be flattered? You may think, “Wow, I am such a stud that no matter how I dress myself up, she wants me.” Or maybe you believe on some subconscious or spiritual level that you are soul mates and no matter what happens to you, you will connect with each other.

It is quite a query…

I think it would come down to whether your thoughts are “self-directed” or “other-directed.”

If you’re self-directed, you would probably not care and be flattered, because frankly, if she hooks up with you she’s not cheating. If you are other-directed, you will be more outraged that she would consider straying at all.

I’m not advocating either approach. I just think it’s good for us to step back from time to time and figure out where our emotions and outrage come from.

Besides, unless you are a superhero or secret agent a la Schwarzenneger in True Lies, I don’t foresee you encountering this situation any time soon…

P.S. Interestingly, this scenario is kind of the premise for “The Pina Colada Song.” I guess it worked out ok for them, though I find the entire situation a tad unbelievable. Yes, more unbelievable than my Batman scenario…

Posted in Just Funny | Leave a comment

The Biggest Nerd in the Room

Posted on August 27, 2009 by Avish

spidermanHere’s a quick reminder of the futility of comparing yourself to others…

Yesterday I was attending a karate class, and we were going over a locking technique. At one point the instructor teaching the technique pointed out how the hand motion was similar to the hand motion Spiderman makes when shooting his web.

At this point, two or three others started commenting on the Spiderman’s exact hand positioning when he fires off a web. A couple then started making the accompanying “thwip” noise.

I have to say, I was astonished. It is a rare occasion when I find myself not to be the biggest comic book nerd in the room. I am after all the guy who wrote an entire post based on Aquaman. And yet here I stood, with five other black belts, watching and listening to them geek out over Spidey’s web shooters.

The Lesson There is always going to be someone who “exceeds” you. No matter how good you think you are, there will be someone better. If you’re feeling down about how things are going, you can bet there is someone who is doing a lot worse.

Basing your own self-esteem, self-worth, success, or aptitude on comparisons to others is just silly. It’s easy to feel great about yourself by looking at others who are worse. Not a bad thing to do when you feel bad, but continuously comparing yourself to people not as good as you is a great way to lower the bar. And it’s easy to get jealous or feel down when you look at people doing better than you, but you have no idea what’s really going on behind the scenes – they might not even be happy or successful at all!

Can't be that nerdy right? I mean, if President Obama's down with Spiderman, which should I be embarrassed?

Can't be that nerdy right? I mean, if President Obama's down with Spiderman, which should I be embarrassed?

It’s important to analyze your competition, and there’s nothing wrong with occasional boosting your self-esteem or getting a twinge of motivational jealousy by looking at others, but real growth and mastery comes from comparing yourself to only one thing: how close are you coming to achieving your full potential?

It’s like Spiderman said to Electro in issue #178: “I don’t need to win to sleep well at night. I just need to do the best I can.” (Ok, that’s not a real quote, but I was trying to re-establish myself as top comic book guy in the dojo…)

Posted in Motivation & Success | 1 Comment

Sure, But What Have You Done *Lately*?

Posted on August 26, 2009 by Avish

pbrYou ever get the feeling some people are desperately holding on to the successes of the past?

This past weekend I went bowling. Don’t ask me my score, it’s embarrassing and a bit of a sore spot. Let’s just say that if you added together the scores from the two games I bowled, the total would still be less than my personal best. This was not a banner night in the old “Motivational Smart Ass Athletic Pantheon.” Not that such a thing exists…

In any case, the bowling alley we were at is quite the Philly hotspot, and we were told that we had a two hour wait. Fortunately for us, this bowling alley had a bar (don’t they all?).

We sit down at the bar, and notice that while most beers are $4-5, Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR to the faithful) was on special for only $2 a pint. I know what you’re thinking: It may be only $2, but it’s PBR; it can’t be that special.

True dat, but with two hours to kill, drinking $2 beers sounded like a good idea. And yes, I concede the possibility that my bad bowling night may have been due to drinking PBRs for two hours beforehand.

Here’s the thing though: have you ever read the label on a can of PBR? If not, here’s what it says:

This is the original Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. Nature’s choicest products provide its prized flavor. Only the finest of hops and grains are used. Selected as America’s Best in 1893

Did you catch that? Selected as America’s Best in 1893?!?!

For those weak in math, that’s 116 years ago!

This is still on the can?? Have they won nothing since then to be proud of? (Ok, I drank Pabst all night; I am not all that surprised that they haven’t won anything since). They can’t update the can?

Maybe they are being ironic. Or perhaps there is a large body of people who prefer the ales from the times of yore. Or maybe they lost the Photoshop image that they use for the cans and can’t update the text anymore. I don’t know, you explain it to me.

Clearly, Pabst is hanging on to some of the old glory days. But how about you? Are you pinning your current and future success on great achievements from the days of yore? Or are you raising the bar in your personal and professional life?

This is not to say that your life has to be all about achievement and success. But if you have a business, are you still displaying nothing but your “Best Of…” award from 1985 or are you working to win another one? If you won “Employee of the Year” ten years ago, are you now resting on your laurels? You may have knocked your spouse’s socks off when you first met, but is that the last great memory he or she has of you showing your affection?

It’s unfortunate, but there’s only so long you can ride the wave of one victory, award, or great performance. The basketball season starts again, they do the Oscar’s again next year, and today’s hero becomes tomorrow’s footnote. Achieving brilliance is one thing; if you want to stay there you need to raise the bar. For me, that could simply mean not whining about the 197 I bowled eight years ago every time I bowl a sub-one-hundred game.

So let me ask, what is it for you? What have you done lately?

Posted in Business Advice, Motivation & Success | 4 Comments

Single Person’s Rant

Posted on August 24, 2009 by Avish

Let’s start the week off with a little humor

I recently posted an article titled, No Singles The article was about the customer service I received at a convenience store, but I see how the title could lead people to believe it was about the discrimination and annoyances singles people face.

So, I thought it would be fun to write that article. Here are seven things that suck about being single that have nothing to do with love, sex, or the lack thereof:

1) Sleeping Arrangements

There seems to be a universal truth: if you are crashing at someone’s place – family friend, whoever – the couples always get the bedrooms, the single people always get the couch or floor. Doesn’t matter who’s older, who’s not feeling well, or where everyone falls in the “familial hierarchy.” Single people are always the last to get their own room. (Note: there is a generational exception to this. A single parent or grandparent would rate their own room. by “familial hierarchy I mean oldest sibling, cousin, etc)

Ironically, this truth is so universal that even I follow it! Sometimes when I have a couple staying with me, I will offer up my bedroom and I will sleep on my air mattress. I now see the error of my ways, and I would like to thank myself for showing me the light.

And don’t gimme that “it’s more efficient for two people to sleep in one bed than just one.” Poppycock! Either way, it’s one bed being used. The real issue is that people will validate your existence more if you are coupled up. Hence, you receive a room.

But I’m not bitter.

2) Roller Coasters

I don’t go on roller coasters all that much, but here’s something I’ve learned: They are almost all designed for an even number of people. Two seats across. Four seats across. Whatever. They are not setup to accommodate the fifth wheel. So while your married friends are getting smushed together by the romantic hand of centrifugal force, you’re clenching every muscle in your body to avoid getting jammed into “Gus,” the only other single loser on the ride.

But I’m not bitter.

3) Weddings

Don’t get me started. I could do a whole routine on why weddings suck for single people. Let me just say this: the single person’s table sucks. It’s like the Island of Misfit Toys for non-hitched folks.

I know setting up wedding seating can be a pain in the ass, but here’s a request. If your single friends have other friends at the wedding, coupled or not, please sit them together. This is so much more important for singles than for people in couples! If I come to a wedding with someone, you can sit me anywhere because in the worst case I’ll have at least one person to talk to. When you throw all the “loose change into the Coinstar machine” (i.e. put all the single people at a single person’s table) you’re really screwing them over.

I know, you’re hoping romantic sparks will fly between two of the people. Here’s a tip: sit me with my friends. If there’s someone you think I’ll hit it off with, introduce me at the reception or just pass along a phone number or email after the wedding.

But I’m not bitter.

4) Gift Giving

This whole, “we’re giving you one gift as a couple” thing sucks. Take a look at why. I am a one income household with one person. Someone else is a two income household with four people (a working couple with two kids). Come the holidays, I give your family four gifts. Your family gives me one.

Let’s do the math. My four gifts from one income to your one gift from two incomes. I have now given your family eight times the holiday cheer you have given mine! I realize that this is not the point of gift giving, but come on. The holidays can be depressing enough as a single person, do we need to once again be reminded that society validates a single person’s existence 1/8th as much as that of a family’s??

But I’m not bitter.

5) The Stupid Advice

I’m fine with dating advice. Advice on new places to meet women, better ways to strike up a conversation, or info on attire, great dating venues, or date ideas. These are all good.

What I hate is the cliched worn out advice that people mumble when they can’t really think of anything useful to say.

Let me go on the record and ask that you never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever
deliver the following bit of advice, or any of its variations, to any of your single friends, ever again:

“When it’s your time, it will happen.”

On behalf of all single people, let me just say to you, “Shut up!”

I know you are trying to be well meaning, but when you deliver that tripe, or the similar, “it’s when you least expect it that it happens,” what you are really saying is “dude, I have no freaking idea how you should meet someone or why it hasn’t worked yet or frankly, how anyone in the universe gets together. But I somehow managed to find someone, and if it can happen to me, I’m sure it’ll happen to you! Buck up camper! ‘Cause the sun’ll come out tomorrow!”

Again, I repeat, “shut up!”

Point #1: When someone is down about being single, there are words of encouragement you can give them and good advice you can pass along. This line is neither of them.

Point #2: Your logic is flawed. Do you know someone who grew old and never got married? Do you know anyone who wanted a family but never had kids? Yes, we all do. So when you throw out a platitude like, “when it’s your time, it will happen,” the logical response is “why?” or “how do you know?” You can’t answer that, because there is no answer. I know this sounds very negative, but remember, you’ll most likely feel compelled to say these words when someone is in a negative frame of mind. Don’t do it. Don’t.

But I’m not bitter…

6) The “Last Call” Setups

I’m all for being setup. I love being setup. In fact, if you know someone who you think I’d get along with, let’s set it up!

What I hate though, is being setup purely for the fact that me and the other person are both single. Sometimes someone will set me up with a girl who I have nothing in common with at all. Our only common ground is our mutual availability. It’s like being at a bar at last call when people start looking around for whoever’s left over.

Let me let you in on a little secret: Single people may be single for many reasons. I can assure you that one of those reason is not, “we are unaware of the existence of other single people in the universe.” We know they’re out there. We bump into each other a lot. So by all means, when you meet a new single person, you should immediately think of your other single friends as potential dates. But take it at least one step further and ask, “would they get along,” and “why do I think they would get along?”

But I’m not bitter.

7) The “Mentoring”

This is my new current least favorite. Similar to the “stupid advice” point, but in this case someone, who is usually a generation or two older than you, doesn’t give you advice so much as just remind you of your singleness.

If you’re single, you’ve heard it before:

“You know, you should really get married.” Or, “you should really think about settling down and starting a family.” Or the variation I recently heard which almost made me blow a gasket, “you should really get serious about your life.”

Why thank you! Thank you so much for pointing this out to me! I didn’t realize that I was getting older! I hadn’t thought about getting married or having kids! But now that you, a person who doesn’t know me well and knows very little about my life has pointed out to me that I should probably get married, I see that I should definitely do that! I am going to go out and get married tomorrow! Thank you so much!

But I’m not bitter.

In truth, I’m really not bitter. Things are what they are, and being bitter, complaining, or wishing they were different accomplishes nothing. And I have a pretty good life. But I felt compelled to put this little manifesto out there so that the next time you encounter a single person, you may feel better armed to treat them, like, I don’t know, say, a fully validated human being…

P.S. While looking up a few things for this article, I discovered that there are many resources on the internet explaining why it’s great to be single. If you’re interested, check them out.

Posted in Just Funny, Lists | 15 Comments

Who’s Smarter than a WWE Wrestler?

Posted on August 21, 2009 by Avish

Not me, evidently. I received this email from a friend yesterday:

Great minds think alike...er, well, um...you know what I mean...

Great minds think alike...er, well, um...you know what I mean...

guess where this quote is from:

“Life comes with unexpecteds and without guarantees. The quality of your life will be better the less you try to run and find safety nets and havens from them. Your life is better served if you take it as it comes without over-thinking or over-planning how you can beat the odds of the unexpecteds and what-ifs.”

If you said Avish’s latest blog post, you’d be wrong. If you said the latest blog post by the Ultimate Warrior, you’d be right.
The title of said post…”Warrior Thoughts on Insurance”. Awesome.

for other warrior thoughts on religious freedom, healthcare, american conservatism…
http://www.ultimatewarrior.com/blog/2009/08/17/warrior-thoughts-on-insurance

oh, he’s also is a painter now. you just can’t make this sh!t up.

Yes, the man who wrestled in the 80’s (and briefly in the late 90s) as one of my favorite wrestlers, The Ultimate Warrior, is now giving advice that could just as easily have come from my mouth.

Note: to be fair, I just read this one quote, I haven’t been to the website. I’m not endorsing or recommending his site. I am however endorsing that you watch this awesome segment about the Warrior’s interviewing skills:

Wow! Did you understand any of what he was saying? Even if you caught all the words, they didn’t make any sense strung together the way he strung them together.

And now, 20 years later, he’s got a great quote on over-planning and fear. Granted, if you saw or heard some of the things I said 20 years ago, you might be wondering why on earth you’re listening to me now. Then again, 20 years ago I was sixteen…

For the moment, let’s put aside the Warrior’s face-paint, violence, and all around insanity, and acknowledge that this is a pretty good point.

Fundamentally, he’s talking about two things I often speak on: staying in the moment (i.e. not over thinking or over-planning) and being willing to fail. I have to say, I agree with him 100% that your quality of life is directly proportional to your ability to do this.

Think about the most stressed out person you know. I would bet money that they don’t do this at all. They desperately avoid uncertainty, try to over-think every detail, and drive themselves insane by repeatedly asking the “worst case what-ifs.

By simple embracing uncertainty and being willing to face whatever happens, you can diminish your stress and improve the quality of life. Here are a few tips on how to do that.

Now, how about a stroll down memory lane with some classic Ultimate Warrior moments:

Yup, me and the Warrior. Two great Motivational Smart Ass minds…

Posted in Motivation & Success | Leave a comment

Are You Annoyed When Customers Try To Give You Money?

Posted on August 20, 2009 by Avish

Mmmm, hibachi... (photo by quinn.anya)

Mmmm, hibachi... (photo by quinn.anya)

As a professional, do you get annoyed when people try to give you more money?

This may sound like a stupid question, but it seems like some people just want to be bothered when you give them more business…

This past weekend my karate school had a big test. As is traditional, we went out to dinner afterwards at a local Japanese restaurant. When we called in the reservation, we told them to expect 20-25 people. In preparation, the restaurant set aside a private room that could accommodate 24-30 people comfortably.

Problem is, by the time we got to the restaurant, the number of diners had ballooned to 36!

Amazingly, I am not going to rant about how the staff reacted. They did a good job simply saying, “no problem, we’ll figure it out.” Eventually, we got everyone into that room It may have been a little tight – especially considering it was a hot summer day in a room of hibachi tables filled with people who had been sweating at a karate test all day – but it worked.

This scenario did remind me of times I had gone to a restaurant and shown up with a couple more people than the reservation, and the staff seemed incredibly put out to be inconvenienced…

Look, I get it. It is an inconvenience to have planned for one thing but to then have things suddenly change (Ding Happens! anyone?). But these are the kinds of unexpected Dings that are a good thing! More diners means more revenue for the restaurant. And (in theory, for the non-cheapskates in the world) more tips.

Feel free to bitch and moan when on break or after work, when out of earshot of the customers. But when a customer shows up and wants to give you more money, say “yes, and” with a hug smile!

Alternately, if you can’t say “yes,” – say you really don’t have any more room – politely explain the situation. But remember two things when saying no:

  1. Try to your best to come up with an alternative to accommodate

    2. – Can the people squeeze in? Will you be able to accommodate them if they wait a bit? Can you get creative with the seating? The Japanese restaurant brought in two small side tables to place next to the hibachi tables. Worked great.

  2. Don’t make the customer “wrong”

    3. – You may feel the urge to “educate” the customer for the future. “Next time, call us in advance so we know the number has changed.” I don’t care how you say it, when you say that you are blaming the customer, and nobody likes that. A simple, better, variation: “Next time, if you call us in advance we can definitely work with you to get your whole group seated together.” Small difference, but small differences in word choice can have a huge impact on reaction.

This obviously applies to any industry, not just to restaurants. I once responded to a real estate ad by a large company in Philadelphia for apartments. The ad listed a huge number of units, and the only information about each was the cost, relative address, and the number of bedrooms and bathrooms. When I called, a woman answered and asked me which units I wanted to see. I started listing them, and when I got past the 3rd or 4th one she blurts out in a huff, “well, I can’t show them all to you!” Yeah, that kind of sucked. Guess I won’t be giving her any of my money (I didn’t).

This reminds me of one of the greatest “store snobbery comeuppance scenes” ever (from Pretty Woman):

The problem is that some people just abhor last second changes. You’ll recognize these people by the shear level of drama and stress they both create and allow in their lives. If you recognize yourself in some of that statement, then you may want to consider working on your improvisational skills and learning how to let go of control and accept the inevitable Dings of life. Even better, learn how to take advantage of them!

As a business person, you must always remember that the customer or prospect represent revenue. Too often people forget that and treat the customer like a necessary evil.

It’s ok to have boundaries and say no. But if you do, say it in a polite way that keeps everyone happy. And if you say yes, then act like you mean it and leave the passive aggressive behavior for the next time you’re an angst-ridden teenager.

Otherwise you could be making a big mistake. Big. Huge…

Posted in Business Advice, Ding! | 7 Comments

No Singles?

Posted on August 19, 2009 by Avish

Contrary to what you may believe from the title of this post, this is not an article about the discrimination faced by those of us not in a relationship (we’ll talk about that at a later date…) Rather, this is a post about what a large impact small choices can have.

This morning I stopped by the local Wawa to get a coffee and a bit to eat. (For those of you not from the South eastern Pennsylvania area, Wawa is not some bizarre childcare center, but rather an awesome convenience store). The total came to $3.23. I pull out a $10 bill and hand it to the woman behind the counter.

She looks at it and says, “no singles?”

Simple question, right? But it took me aback for a moment. Why? Quite simply because she didn’t fully form the question, “do you have any singles?”

To me, the wording and the way she said, “no singles?” implied that I should have pulled out my singles. Rather than coming across as a polite request to help them out with loose bills, it made me feel a smidge guilty for not paying with smaller bills in the first place.

I had a few singles in my wallet (let’s keep the snide comments about why I had singles in my wallet to yourself) so I pulled four out and paid.

What made the whole bit bother me a bit more was that she never thanked me for paying with the singles. Not when I said, “sure, I can pay with singles,” and not when I handed her the $4. The lack of a simple thank you reinforced the whole “I was wrong for not using the smaller bills in the first place,” feeling.

What’s funny about this is that I stop at this Wawa frequently, and this woman is usually very nice and polite. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe it was a slip of the tongue. Maybe I was the tenth person in a row to try to pay with a large bill and she had had it. I don’t know, and I probably never will know.

What I do know is that simple choice of words, asking “no singles?” rather than, “do you have any singles?” negatively impacted my experience. Because of my past experience at this Wawa and because of the utter convenience of the location, this will not stop me from going back. But what if it was my first experience? What if the place was even just a bit out of the way?

The simple choices we make everyday, in business and our personal lives, can have a huge impact on the people around us, even if we don’t know it. This is one of the reasons I talk so much about conditioning your automatic responses to be as positive as you can. If your default is a polite, well communicated response, then you will fall back on that even when things aren’t going well.

Let me ask you: Do you conduct your day to day interactions in a way that make people feel good and want more, or in a way that drives them away or makes them uncomfortable working with you? A few simple word choices can make all the difference…

Posted in Business Advice | 5 Comments

Would You Be Happy To Work on “Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus?”

Posted on August 17, 2009 by Avish

megashark_largeLast night I watched one of the most gloriously awful movies I have ever seen: “Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus.”

This is a direct to DVD release. It has budget CGI. And it stars Lorenzo, “I used to be Renegade,” Lamas and Deborah, “don’t call me Debbie,” Gibson. That my friends is a recipe for sheer b-movie genius. This movie defines the phrase, “so bad it’s good.” The only way it could have been better is if Lamas wore his Renegade sunglasses and if during the romantic interlude (you know there had to be one) Debbie Gibson’s “Only In My Dreams” came on in the background. That, and if it had been made in 3D, which was in fact the original intention for this movie.

You probably haven’t seen this movie. Close your eyes and imagine what a direct to DVD movie titled “Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus” starring Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson would be like. I have no way of knowing what you are thinking, but I will say that the movie you are imagining is 100% exactly the same as the movie that was made. It is physically impossible to think of anything different when you have a movie so aptly titled and so perfectly cast.

I was watching this movie with a friend who writes music professionally. Every time he watches a movie like this (it happens more than it should), he says, “I would love to write music for these movies.” This got me thinking about the people who work on these b-type direct to DVD (and made for SyFy channel) flicks.

“Mega Shark…” and other movies like it require a lot of people and a decent chunk of money to get made. Those of us used to huge Hollywood blockbusters look at a movie like “Mega Shark…” and call it “budget.” Relative to the money spent on making the awful Transformers 2, for example, the budget for “Mega Shark…” looks like pocket change. But this is a full movie that employs a lot of people There are lots of people who make a living working on these “budget” projects.

I have no doubt that my friend would love to work on these movies. You know why? Because he loves the process of writing music. While others might be embarrassed to work on these flicks or just see them as a necessarily evil stepping stone, he would love it.

There’s a lesson here:

Process, Not Product

You know you are going to think about this every time you cross the Golden Gate bridge - or any bridge, for that matter!

You know you are going to think about this every time you cross the Golden Gate bridge - or any bridge, for that matter!

Many people pursue a goal thinking only about the end result. This is not a problem as a means of motivation, but for a large goal you need to make sure you enjoy the process.

You may want to be a “glamorous” Hollywood star, but if you don’t love acting, you’ll never be able to put in the countless hours auditioning and acting in the small projects leading up to your big break. You may love the idea of owning a successful company, but if you don’t love the process of building and running a business, it ain’t gonna happen. Want to lose weight but haven’t gotten yourself to enjoy exercise and eating healthy? You may drop the pounds, but you’ll either gain them back or struggle to keep them off for your entire life.

For me, I love speaking and making people laugh. I know this, because I have performed comedy for amazing huge crowds, tiny awful crowds, and everything in between. I have gotten my full fee to speak for an hour at a venue ten minutes from my house, and I once drove seven hours to speak to a group of twenty people for free. I love speaking, and I love making people laugh. I love the process.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t reach for the brass ring, if that’s what you want. I know I do. Just make sure that you’ll will love taking the steps that will get you there. If not, you should reconsider the goal or find a way of adjusting the process that gets you there. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for some serious headache and failure.

If you were a composer, would you love writing the score for “Mega Shark…” just because you love writing music? If not, what process would you like?

Put another way, for your dreams, what’s your “Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus?”

P.S. Here’s a treat for you – the gloriously awful trailer for “Mega Shark”:

Posted in Motivation & Success | 5 Comments

Benefits of a Potty Mouth

Posted on August 14, 2009 by Avish

Does the phrase, Motivational Smart Ass offend you? If so, you may be less healthy than you could be…

When I launched the Motivational Smart Ass site, I knew some people would be put off by the use of the word “Ass.” For some, it qualifies as “cussing.”

But now there’s a steady that shows that swearing swearing can actually relieve pain.

That’s right, swearing can be good for you!

Take that Smart Ass!

Lesson 1: Letting things go in a healthy way

Ding Happens, and ideally you’ll be able to shrug it off and flow. But if not, getting things off your chest by swearing (in a private, appropriate way), exercising, journaling, hitting a heavy bag, etc., will not only help you move on, but will also help you lessen the pain of the Ding!

Lesson 2: Don’t get worked up over the little stuff

The fewer small, insignificant things you let affect you, the more energy, focus and creativity you will have to deal with the truly important things that matter.

I know people who get easily offended by just about anything. I tend to not spend a lot of time with these people. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. And if you run around being offended and bothered by every little thing that doesn’t fit neatly into your view of how the world is, you will stress yourself out. You’ll also lose your credibility when you complain about the big stuff, and have a lot less energy and creativity to flow with the unexpected.

Call to Action/Favor:

Know someone who would not only not be offended by Motivational Smart Ass but would in fact love the combination of humor and advice? Email them the link!

Know a bunch of people who would love it? Share the link on Facebook and Twitter!

Posted in Motivation & Success | 1 Comment