5 Things You Can Learn From the Movie “Jaws”

Posted on May 5, 2009 by Avish

Jaws is my favorite movie of all time. As I was sitting there one day, I thought about how may simple success lessons we can all learn from Jaws. So of course, I just had to share them with you!

1) Two brains are better than one

In the now iconic opening sequence, a teenage girl, Chrissie Watkins, goes for a late night swim. She brings along a young man, but he is so drunk he can’t even undress himself, much less get in the water with him. Unfortunately for Chrisse, a giant great white shark comes along and eats her. Our young drunk male friend is completely oblivious.

Later on, two semi-stupid men try to catch the shark to collect on a $3,000 reward. The plan? Bait a hook with a pot roast, attach the hook to a chain, and tie the chain to a pier. Brilliant. Of course when the giant shark comes along he is so strong that he rips out a huge chunk of the pier and drags one of our Mensa members along with it. This idiot now needs to swim back before the shark can reach him. Idiot number 2 is on dry land screaming encouragement. Amazingly, in utter defiance of Darwin, idiot number 1 makes it back to shore.

Let’s see, Chrissie goes swimming alone, she dies. The two guys try to catch the shark, they live. I am not saying that Chrissie would have lived if the drunk dude had made it with her, but face it, two minds (even stupid minds) are better than one.

Lesson: Get help or get eaten.

(Jaws Trivia: in the opening sequence, Chrissie’s screams of pain are real as the apparatus designed to thrash her about broke her ribs)

2) Be prepared for the unexpected

Matt Hooper, our young scientist hero, succumbs to unexpected surprise not once, but twice in this movie! Doesn’t he know that Ding Happens!? The first time, he is underwater, at night, investigating a boat that has been attacked. He first find’s a giant shark’s tooth, and then a dead head pops up and Hooper freaks out and drops the tooth. Unfortunately, when Hopper and police chief Brody try to explain to the mayor that a giant shark is still out there, the mayor asks to see the tooth. Without this proof, the mayor keeps the beaches open.

The second time is near the end. Hooper, in a great act of braverism, descends into the water in a shark cage, armed with a spear filled with some kind of medicinal poison that will kill the shark if he can jam it into his mouth. Sadly, it appears that no one ever explained three (or even two) dimensional space to Hooper, because as he is looking one way the giant shark rams the cage from behind. Startled, Hooper drops the spear and is now defenseless.

I get that seeing a dead body or being rammed by a shark are surprising events, and I probably would have dropped stuff too. but then again, I’m not getting in the water with aspirations of finding or killing a shark.

Lesson: Ding happens. Keeping your composure is critical to your success.

(Jaws Trivia: in both the book and an earlier draft of the movie, Hooper dies in the cage attack scene)

3) Assess and Re-Assess Your tools

Quint hunts sharks for a living, so his standard boat and tools seem sufficient. However, when Brody first sees the shark he immediately says to Quint, “you’re gonna need a bigger boat.” Brody realizes this is one big ass fish.

Quint, in his pride, will have none of it. He refuses to give up the hunt and go back for a bigger boat, better tools, or some help, like the US Navy. Brody proves to be right, as near the end of the movie the giant shark leaps onto the boat and his mass tips the boat up to such an angle that Quint slips and slides down into the beast’s mouth. Bet that wouldn’t have happened with a bigger boat.

Lesson: Plan your best, but when Ding Happens (like if the shark is waaaaaaaaaaaay bigger than expected) reassess and get new tools!

(Jaws Trivia: “You’re gonna need a bigger boat,” was listed at number 35 of AFI’s top 100 movie quotes. )

4) Teamwork is More Important than Ego

Quint and Matt Hooper have a definite ego rivalry going on. The are constantly griping about what exactly is going on and the best way to handle the situation. At one point, they are heading back to shore with the shark in pursuit. The plan is to head back in and lure the shark into the shallows. Brody is very appreciative that they are headed back in.

The boat had been damaged and repaired earlier, and Hooper is worried about the stress Quint is putting on it. He tells Quint to slow down, so naturally Quint speeds up. Hooper tells him again, and again Quint speeds up. Eventually black smoke billows from the engine and the boat breaks down. Now the three men are stranded out at sea with no engine, no radio (oh, didn’t I tell you? Quint smashed the radio earlier when Brody tried to call for help) with a 25 foot great white shark gearing up for a mighty feast.

Lesson: Confidence is one thing, but when you start making decisions out of ego you are doomed to failure. Find a way to work with everyone, even the people you don’t like.

(Jaws Trivia: Richard Dreyfuss turned down the role of Hooper initially, but after he saw a pre-screening of his movie, “The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz,” he quickly called to accept the role because he was convinced Kravitz was so bad that no one would hire him after that)

5) Don’t Go Cheap

Early in the film a little boy gets eaten. His mother offers a $3,000 reward for the shark. Quint, probably the only one on the island capable of actually killing the shark, wants $10,000. “For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.” Why would the town pony up $10,000 when they can have some woman pay $3,000?

No one catches the shark for the three grand, one fisherman dies (Ben Gardner, who would go on to later have his head pop up and scare Matt Hooper into dropping a tooth), two idiots almost die, and another dude is also killed a little later. Even Brody’s son is attacked, though he survives to be portrayed by Dennis Quaid in Jaws-3D. It may have been better for everyone if he had died…

Only after the last incident where the one dude dies and Brody’s son is attacked does the mayor decide to hire Quint.

Lesson: You get what you pay for, and sometimes quality is worth every penny.

(Jaws Trivia: in the novel, there is a whole subplot about the mayor being in trouble with the mob and needing the money the tourists will bring in, which is why he doesn’t want to close the beaches. In the movie, he’s just an ass.)

P.S. Here’s the original trailer for the theatrical release of Jaws. Awesome! (It is as if God created the devil, and gave him…Jaws!)

Posted in Business Advice, Lists, Motivation & Success | 1 Comment

3 Success Lesson’s From Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares

Posted on May 4, 2009 by Avish

I watch a lot of TV. While a lot of the TV I watch is good stuff (24, Lost, The Office), some is just ridiculous reality shows that I know I would be better off not watching and instead spending my life doing other, better things (The Apprentice, American Idol, The Biggest Loser).

One reality show I really enjoy is Kithen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsey. If you haven’t seen it, the premise of the show is that Gordon Ramsey, a very successful chef, restauranteur, and TV personality, goes into a failing restaurant and tells the owners all the things they are doing wrong and how they can change it to be successful. Ok, maybe he doesn’t “tell” as much as he yells, browbeats, goads, and insults them until they get the point. In fact, I have seen him quite frequently continue to browbeat after they get it. That’s good television! There’s nothing like watching a middle aged British man call other grown adults “donkey,” and “stupid cow.” Awesome!

If you have seen the show then you know that every episode Gordon basically tells them the same things.

Here I am going to share with you three of the things he says every single time and how they can apply well beyond the world of restaurants and reality TV.

#1) Be Good

Of all the episodes of the show I have seen, both the US and BBC version, I can only recall one time where he said, “wow, your food is really good, we just need to tweak the marketing.” Every single other time he tells them how much their food sucks. Not surprisingly, almost every single time he says this the chefs don’t believe him. It’s like every person who gets Gordon to come to their show assumes that they have a great product and they don’t understand why people aren’t beating down their door.

This is a powerful but very tough lesson to hear: If you are not enjoying the success you really want, then chances are you aren’t good enough yet. Yes, there are cases of undiscovered genius. Unfortunately, those are the stories we love to tell and hear and that Disney makes into movies. For every one of those there are thousands of examples of people who think they are good enough but really aren’t.

If people aren’t already beating down your door and clamoring to hire you, use your service, or buy your product, then you can be better. You will still need to market, but if your product isn’t great then the marketing gets that much harder.

And the sobering thought is that the worse you are at marketing the more amazing you need to be.

I once did a customer service training where at the start I asked the group, “if you walked out of here better able to do just one thing, what would you want it to be.” One guy says, “I think we’re already pretty good. We don’t need to be better at anything.”

That my friends is the sound of mediocrity. Don’t be that guy.

#2) Simplify

Many of the situations on Kitchen Nightmares include a menu that has way too many items on it. So big that in order to provide that much variety, the kitchen needs to cut corners and use pre-cooked and frozen foods. As a result quality suffers (see point #1). Gordon comes in and heavily pares down the menu until there are a small number of options that the chefs can prepare extremely well.

The lesson here is that there are only so many things you can do well. Unfortunately we all fall into the trap periodically of spreading ourselves too thin and trying to do too much. Stop trying to be all things to all people and pick a small number of things you can be absolutely amazing at, and focus on those.

The hardest part about implementing this is not letting go of the things you are bad it – that’s easy! The hard part is letting go of the things you are good at. You’ll resist stopping those things or outsourcing them because you’ll say, “I can do those pretty well myself.” Don’t say that! You’re not going for “pretty well” You’re going for awesome! By letting go of the good you make room for the great.

#3) Get the Word Out

The final thing Gordon does in most episodes is to engage in some kind of big marketing activity. It could be sponsoring a big event, taking to the streets with a megaphone or dance troupe, or just getting influential people in the doors. He gets the word out.

Here’s a hard lesson: A bad product with great marketing will be more successful than a great product with bad marketing. You can’t sit in your house waiting for people to find you. (Ok, there is an exception, and I say this with some hesitation from fear that it will be taken the wrong way: you can be successful with almost no marketing. But to do so you have to be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ridiculously good that you are close to being the best in the world at something that there is a demand for. Think you’re there yet? No. No you are not.)

You have to get the word out. This doesn’t mean that you have to engage in marketing activities you hate (I plan on never making another cold call again. I would sooner give up my dreams and take a job as Lindsay Lohan’s “damage control” specialist). Find activities you like and would be willing to consistently do, and then do them!

It’s not complicated. Be Good. Simplify. Get the Word Out. There are more lessons I could pull from the show, but those three are enough to make anyone successful. Now get out there and do it.

If you don’t maybe you are a donkey or stupid cow.

Posted in Business Advice, Motivation & Success | 3 Comments

Question: What’s Your Big Ding?

Posted on May 1, 2009 by Avish

I recently posted on 5 Examples of Everyday Stupidity That You Will Encounter this Week The point of that post was that you will encounter stupidity, interruptions, and “Dings” everyday. I listed 5 common ones that I come across and know you probably do too.

I’d like to pose the question back to you: What are the “Dings,” big or small, that you encounter on a regular basis? What little stupidities or unexpected events do you encounter that get you upset even though you know you shouldn’t?

Post your thoughts in the comments, I’d love to hear…

Posted in Ding! | 2 Comments

Singing Kids Songs to Myself

Posted on April 30, 2009 by Avish

I have been spending a lot of time lately with my best friend, his wife, and their three year old daughter. As a result, I have been subjected to more children’s television programming than I ever wanted. not difficult, since I didn’t want to be exposed to *any* children’s television programming.

This morning, as I was I was getting ready for the day, I found myself singing, “The phone. The phone is ringing,” and then, “What’s gonna work? Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaamwork.”

If you don’t know what those are, they are songs from the TV show Wonderpets. You can hear them here (The phone is ringing starts the clip, and the teamwork clip starts at the 2:11 mark):

I am a 35 year old man with no children. I should not be singing WonderPets songs to myself! I think I need some new friends…

Lesson #1: Be wary of what you expose yourself to. If you’re not vigilant, stuff will get stuck in your head that you never intended. And it may be stuff you don’t want in there. (Talk about voices in your head…)

Lesson #2: This is what passes for great children’s programming these days? No matter what you think about the songs, message, or catchiness, there is one irrefutable fact that you must accept: Those Wonderpet animals are creepy! Give me Elmer Fudd blowing his own head off when Bugs Bunny puts his finger in the shotgun barrel any day.

Posted in Motivation & Success | 1 Comment

Slumdog Parashar

Posted on April 29, 2009 by Avish

Here’s a really cool idea: An Indian couple was getting married, and they wanted to put together a video to show at the reception. Rather than a traditional slideshow, they thought it would be fun to do a spoof of the Slumdog Millionaire trailer with the two of them as the main characters brought together by destiny. Of course, they needed someone to act as the game show host. Enter Avish…

I have to tell you, I did not have high hopes for the finished product. The gig was at these people’s home studio which felt like it was out in the middle of North Nowhere, NJ. We recorded in their living room where they had pushed all the furniture aside and set up a green screen. Oh, and there was a dog who really liked to sit on the set…

More fool me. I was blown away by the finished product. You would have no idea that this was created in a living room with just two people, one camera, and a Mac. Amazing.

Lesson #1: The world is getting smaller and flatter. Technology is getting faster, cheaper, and more accessible. Whatever story you have been telling yourself about why you can’t do something or how something is too complicated or too technical, that story is probably dead wrong now.

Lesson #2: First impressions and assumptions can be very deceiving. After my initial doubts, I was blown away by the finished product. Keep an open mind and you may very well be surprised.

Lesson #3: Life is short. If you ever get the chance to participate in a fun project that gets recorded for all time: DO IT!

Posted in Motivation & Success | 4 Comments

5 Things Every Kid Should Learn In School

Posted on April 28, 2009 by Avish

I have been known to rant about the stupidity of people from time to time. This got me thinking about why some of this stupidity wasn’t stamped out an early age, which led me to pontificate on the educational situation in the U.S. So I came up with a list of 5 things every kid should learn in school (but probably don’t).

I’m not a teacher and haven’t been in school for 18 years. It’s possible some of this stuff is now being taught, but I doubt it. If so, let me know…

#1) How to Fall Safely

I have trained in the martial arts for over 20 years now. The only technique I ever applied out of the dojo? How to fall properly. I have fallen on concrete (alcohol may have been involved), been knocked over on an outdoor asphalt basketball court, and tripped while carrying a large piece of furniture I was helping a friend move. I escaped all those situations with nary a scratch on me. All because I learned how to fall properly in karate.

With all the crazy stuff kids learn in phys ed, would it be that big a deal to spend 15 minutes a day for a couple of weeks teaching everyone how to safely fall forwards, backwards, and to the side? I first thought of this when I read the tragic story of Natasha Richardson. Some simple training may have been enough to prevent that.

#2) Don’t Be Creepy

Follow up to my Don’t Be Creepy post. Creepy adults start as creepy kids. I think a “don’t be creepy” class should be mandatory.

#3) Personal Finance

I’m not saying a little education would have prevented the massive financial crisis going on. But every time I see an article or book that talks about the “amazing power of compound interest!” I think to myself, “so what? That’s old news.” I learned that in 3rd grade when doing a brain teaser on a little girl scheming some dude out of his money by accepting a penny for payment on day one and then having the payment double everyday for 30 days.

Personal Finance around interest, mortgages, credit cards, loans, etc. is math that everyone will use someday. Learning how to use a Math Mira is something that no one will ever use. Ever. (And please, if your job involves using a math mira then go ahead and comment and tell me how wrong I am. Then go re-read the “Don’t be Creepy” post). It doesn’t need to be financial advice, but teaching the underlying math behind these issues seems like an obvious place to teach kids how to not screw themselves out of a future when they become adults.

#4) Meditation

Not that hardcore “get in touch with your spirituality” type meditation. But I feel a huge part of the challenge people face these days is the inability to disconnect from the world and all the stimulus in it. I know kids (and some adults) who sleep with their cell phones in hand or under their pillow so they can keep texting until they fall asleep and start texting immediately upon rising.

Simply developing the ability to sit in silence for five or ten minutes and learning to pay attention to their bodies and intuition could have tremendous impact on all people everywhere. If you haven’t yet developed this ability as an adult, I highly suggest you start now.

I know that this is the craziest one on the list but I stand by it.

#5) Improv Comedy

Yeah, I’m biased, but guess what? It’s my blog. So there.

Seriously though, teaching improv is not about making everyone a performer. But an activity that stresses the fundamentals of communication while helping kids access their creativity and learn how to think on their feet? Tell me that that wouldn’t make a kid better able to be successful in the world than learning how to bake a home made pretzel in 7th grade home economics.

Like I said, for all I know this stuff may already be being taught in schools. But I doubt it. But parents, just because this stuff isn’t taught in schools doesn’t mean your kids can’t learn them. Teach them this stuff when they’re young so it becomes automatic, and they will be well ahead of the game.

And if you, as an adult, haven’t learned these things yet, then get started now!

Posted in Lists, Motivation & Success | Leave a comment

Just What Do You Think You’re Doing, Charlie?

Posted on April 27, 2009 by Avish

Here’s an email I received from my friend “Charlie 9000” (yes, that is an inside joke that involves me being able to hold a Pub Quiz answer over him for all eternity) who bought a new house that he and his fiancee have been fixing up. I am including it here because it is both funny and there is a good lesson to pull out of it.

“So when we first found out we were going to have to replace the stove, someone mentioned to me that I should call the township about disposal protocol. Reason being: The township handles trash collection and likely has rules about discarding things like the stove that may involve getting a permit. Stupid? Yes. Pain in the ass? Yes. Sounds like something NJ would do? Absolutely.

So when I ordered the new appliances and saw that there was a “haul away” option for the old unit, I paid the extra fee and went for it, keeping the old stove in the main foyer behind the door so the appliance people could get it out the door easily. So today the appliances were delivered. Lynn’s Dad was kind enough to be there to receive them and called to tell me that the deliveryman knew nothing about the haul away option and even said they don’t do that.

I think yes…even over the phone, he actually felt the heat pulsing off my face.

BUT I kept my cool, asked about his day, thanked him and then went to the township’s website ready to deal with an apocalypse of red tape. The page directed me to call the trash company. I did. A lady picked up. I said, “I need to throw out a stove.” She replied, “So?” Some minor confusion followed. Then I learned that apparently they have no special rules for throwing out appliances, Avish. No. All you have to do is put it out by the curb with your normal trash on any normal trash day.

So…every day…for the past 8+ weeks…I…have come home…walked in my front door…shut it…and let that greasy, wrecked son of a bitch stare at me like the money I could be saving with GEICO…for no…good…reason.

I really do need to get my hair cut. Right now it’s long and all too easy and tempting to pull it out in fistfuls”

Great story. Here’s what we can learn from it:

Be Wary of the First Advice You Get

The Law of Primacy states that “the side of an issue presented first will have greater effectiveness than the side presented subsequently.” This means that the first thing we hear we will put more weight on, whether it’s true or not. So you hear someone tell you that there are rules about discarding, and you believe it. Someone tells you that using 2.5 lb weights in the gym is weenie and you believe it. ONE MORE BLOG POST. It’s a good idea to question all of your assumptions, but pay particular attention to the first one; you may be giving it undue weight.

Posted in Motivation & Success | Leave a comment

If You’re Gonna Insult Someone, Do It Right!

Posted on April 24, 2009 by Avish

I was doing some work from a Panera Bread today (my “mobile office,” if you will), when two employees got into a small exchange. Actually, one was irritated about something and the other one was egging him on.

The irritated employee responds with, “You know what, why don’t you go jump off a short cliff.”

Think about it…Let it sink in…Got it?

Why would you tell someone to jump off a short cliff? I mean, if you were mad, wouldn’t you want him to jump off a tall, giant cliff? The guy could be ok after falling off a short cliff. Maybe he was some kind of magnanimous insulter who just wanted the guy to sprain an ankle and not suffer suffer long term harm.

I suppose “cliff” implies height, so in reality even a short cliff could cause serious injury. But this is the world of insults!. Reality has no place. This would be the same thing as walking into a “Yo Momma is So” contest and saying, “You momma is so fat that she gets short of breathe climbing the stairs.” True? Sure. Funny as an insult? Not really.

Of course the insulted employee caught this immediately (he was much better at verbal sparring) and responded, “short cliff? Why a short cliff? Wouldn’t you want me to jump off Mt. Everest or something?” Touche…

Yes, I get that the first guy mixed his insults and combined, “jump off a tall cliff,” and “take a long walk off a short pier.” But none of that mattered.

Lesson #1: Inter-employee bickering should be done behind closed doors. Don’t argue with your coworkers in public, and don’t let your employees argue in public. Otherwise you may end up in a blog post.

Lesson #2: Make sure you have some competence in the activity you engage in. i.e. don’t get into an insult battle if it’s not your thing.

Lesson #3: You should pick the field of battle. This is a fundamental principle of warfare and fighting. Fight on your terms. Create a home field advantage. Set yourself up for success. So don’t trade insults if it’s not your thing. Don’t schedule important things in the morning if that’s not your best time (no matter how many motivational books tell you to do so). Don’t make an important call while you’re on an airplane waiting to take off.

Lesson #4: Sometimes Many times, keeping your mouth shut is the best policy. Do I really need to explain this further?

Lesson #5: If as a customer you don’t want to overhear employee interactions, don’t sit at the back near the kitchen. Of course then you would miss out on all the fun…

P.S. If you type the word insults sometimes it comes out as “insluts,” which would have made this a very, very different post.

Posted in Business Advice, Motivation & Success | 4 Comments

Customer Service and the Big “Ding!”

Posted on April 23, 2009 by Avish

(This is from my Improvised Musings E-Zine. Sign up for it now and get the MP3: “How to Think Quick” Free!!)

Here’s a story my buddy Mike told me about some awful customer service he got after the vendor encountered a “Ding”…

Mike launched a new business composing game music (and cleverly and appropriately named his company Game Music Inc.) In preparation for a large game developer’s conference, Mike got some business cards printed up, and used a local shop to do this. He was leaving for the conference on Tuesday, and was told that he would have them the prior Friday or Monday at the latest (yeah, I know. We’ve all heard that before).

As you might have already guessed, he went in on Friday and the cards were not ready. He went in on Monday, and the cards were *still* not ready. The print shop said, “no problem, we’ll ship them to you overnight.”

Mike heads off for the conference, and unfortunately spends the first two days without cards. Mike, being an excellent improviser, still makes the most of it, but still, business cards are one of those things that you really want to have at a conference.

Mike gets back in town and gets the invoice from the print shop. Much to his chagrin, the invoice is much higher than he was quoted.

He calls the shop and a lady explains to him that there are two reasons for the extra costs:

  1. Some of the extra cost was for the overnight shipping.
  2. The woman said the first sample of his card wasn’t super high quality, so she bumped up the quality. This used to be the same price, but there was a change and now it costs more. A *lot* more. So that’s why it was $150 instead of $75.

Does that sound as stupid to you as it does to me?!?!?

They are charging him for overnight shipping. Shipping that was required because they didn’t deliver on time!

Then they upgraded his order WITHOUT ASKING HIM and expected him to pay for it!!

When Mike pushed back on this she said that this quaility cards would usually cost $175, so he was getting a great deal for $150. (You can not make this stuff up). Mike even offered to “split the difference” and pay $125, to which the woman got annoyed and said “That’s not splitting the difference.”

Mike is a little too non-confratational at times, so he said “fine, whatever.” But upon further reflection he decidely, rightly so, that this was wrong. So he called back and asked to speak to the owner. The owner wasn’t there so Mike spoke to someone else about how he felt taken advantage of.

A few minutes later, he receives a call from the first lady who launches into a passive aggressive diatribe about how he won’t be charged because it’s their fault, and even though she’ll have to write the check herself for the difference, he won’t have to pay, and blah blah blah. He’s a really nice guy, and she is making him feel like he did something wrong!

The errors here are so obvious as to make it almost unnecessary to break down, but let’s take look anyway:

1) Failure to Deliver On Your Promise

The company said they would have the cards by Friday, or Monday at the lastest, and they didn’t. Strike 1! (or, Ding 1!)

Question: How frequently do you not deliver on your promise (personally or professionally)?

2) Not Taking Responsibility For Their Mistakes

Ding happened twice here: 1) when they missed the deadline, and 2) when the unasked for upgrade costed a lot more. Here’s the thing: customers understand that Ding Happens. They don’t like it, but they understand it. What they want though, is a company that will take responsibility and fix the issue in a fast and respectful way.

This company did not take responsibility for their error. They tried to pass on the costs to Mike not once but twice! Talk about taking a bad situation and making it worse! A simple apology followed by a “this was our error, and of course we won’t charge you for it,” would have smoothed things over. It also may have gotten Mike to go back and refer them business. What do you think the chances are that either of those things are going to happen now?

Question: When Ding Happens, do you pass the buck on to others (or worse, onto the customer) or do you take responsibility, fix it, and move on?

3) Making the Customer Feel Bad For THEIR Mistake

Many people, when they do something wrong, get criticized, or get reprimanded (as may have happened between phone calls in this situation) respond by getting angry and defensive. This is the last thing you want to do, and one of the worst traits you can have in a person who is going to be interacting with customers!

People who respond this way tend not to have mastered the art of taking responsibility for their mistakes, nor do they understand the key improv principles of “having fun,” “Be willing to fail,” “focus on the big picture,” and “say yes and.” (wow, that’s four of the five main things I teach in one example!)

Don’t be this person, and don’t let this person near customers in your organization – or train them quick!

Question: Do you get passive aggressive with customers? Do people in your organization? One bad experience can easily sink what could have been a great long term relationship.

The truly sad thing here is that for a small print shop like this, with the economy in the shape it’s in, and with so much good-quality low-price competiton from online print service like VistaPrint, the only thing this business can differentiate themselves on is their service. Their one and only competitive advantage and they blew it big time.

Make sure your customer service is in place to handle the big and small Dings that may occur – or else your business may be in trouble too.

Posted in Business Advice, Ding! | 1 Comment

5 Examples of Everyday Stupidity That You Will Encounter this Week

Posted on April 22, 2009 by Avish

Ding! Happens. No matter how much you plan or mentally prepare, life will throw you curveballs. That’s why I teach people how to improvise. When most people think of dealing with the “Dings” of life, they think of major, giant events. And unfortunately, they will happen.

Much more likely and frequent, however, are the little daily “dings” that get in our way. And most often, we can attribute those dings not to fate or chance or intended maliciousness. No, no, most often we can trace those dings back to good old fashioned stupidity.

Here are five examples of everyday stupidity that you can bet you will encounter:

1 – Stupid Traffic Maneuvers

If you have read my stuff for a while or seen me speak, then you are probably already aware of how I feel about the stupidity of other drivers. For some reason, you can take the most intelligent and capable people in the world, and you put them behind the wheel of a car and they become blithering idiots.

I guarantee the next time you get behind the wheel of your car, and in fact every time you get behind the wheel of your car, someone is going to do something stupid. Cut you off, slowly come to a near stop right in front of you for no reason, back out of a parking spot without paying attention, straddle both lanes on a two lane road, tailgate you when you can’t go any faster or get out of their way, etc, etc, etc. The list goes on and on and on and on…

2 – Stupid Comments

Never underestimate the stupidity of people. That may sound cynical, but think about it: I;m sure you can recall situations where someone said something so stupid that it took you days to decide whether you really heard them say what you think you heard.

Like a store owner add a dress shop who told my friend, “No, the skirt is not to small, your ass is too big.” True story. Check out the full video clip of her telling the story.

No matter how unbelievable you may think it is that someone would say something, chances are someone has said far worse.

3 – Bad Customer Service

Walk into a store, restaurant, or any place of business, and you have a 50% chance of getting bad service. Someone’s going to be rude, thoughtless, ill-informed, unhelpful, or just an overall idiot. Some people don’t care. Some people feel they don’t get paid enough to care. Some people don’t even realize they are giving bad service.

Whatever the reason, bad service is common. If you let it bother you, then you are putting yourself on a fast track to a heart attack.

4 – Unsolicited (Usually Bad) Advice

A friend once said something very appropriate (and pardon the censored language): “Opinions are like a**holes. Everyone’s got one and they all stink.”

Face it. At some point soon, someone is going to give you feedback on something that you did not ask for feedback on! (Like the people right now who are thinking about sending me an email to let me know I ended that last sentence with a preposition. Get over it). It may not even be someone you know.

I have no explanation for why some people feel the need to put their $0.02 in everything, other than, “stupidity happens.”

5 – Cell Phones

I think the cell phone would be Emily Post’s worst nightmare. What is it about the cell phone that makes perfectly respectful polite people turn into giant rude annoyances? A few standard cell phone transgressions:

  • Talking way to loud in public (It’s called an Inside Voice, people!)
  • Using the cell phone in a movie theater
  • Giving the phone higher priority than the person in front of you (i.e. answering the phone no matter who you are with or what you are doing)
  • Using the cell phone while driving without a hands-free (and almost running into people and cars as a result)
  • Staying on the cell phone while at a cashier and thereby being too distracted to pay for your stuff and thereby holding up the entire line!

And don’t even get me started on texting…

The Lesson: Ding Happens. You know it’s coming. You know people are going to do stupid things. Ergo, don’t be thrown or get all apoplectic when it does!

The first Key Mentality in the step by step process to improvising with anything is to have fun! When stupid stuff happens, train your reflex to laugh at it.

The first one on this list, the traffic issues, get to me all the time, so I rant a lot about it. But that’s my own way of laughing it off. That’s my comedic style. My blood pressure’s not really rocketing off the charts.

But I know people who do blow their tops in traffic, or when they get bad service, or when people say something stupid.

You know people are going to say and do stupid things, so don’t let it get to you!

Don’t get me wrong: I am not saying you should expect people to be stupid. (The Law of Attraction people would have a field day on me for that one…). You should still expect the best in people. I honestly still do. But realize that when stupidity rears it’s ugly head that it’s just a part of life and let it go with a laugh.

Not only will you enjoy your life more, but you will also be healthier and even more able to address some of the stupidity in the world.

P.S. For those wondering why I have a picture of Judge Reinhold and Danny Devito at the top of this post, it’s because that picture is from Ruthless People, and my favorite line is in that movie, mere moments after the scene in the picture. One police officer looks to another and says, “This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the Earth. Perhaps we should shoot him.” Seemed appropriate for this topic. See for yourself (the clip will automatically start at the right place) :

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