No, this is not a tribute to 80’s Hair Metal Band Cinderella. Rather, it’s a reminder to appreciate and take advantage of the opportunities you have now
A couple of days ago the city of Philadelphia announced that because of state budget issues, ALL Philly libraries will be closing as of October 2nd.
This sucks.
I love the library. Actually, I love books, and wandering around bookstores is a favorite activity of mine. The problem is that when I do that I feel a compelling urge to spend money. Then, one day a few years ago, I discovered the wonder that is the Free Library! I could walk around as long as I want, and I could check out anything I wanted without spending a dime! It actually took me a while to switch from “bookstore mentality” where I would think long and hard about whether I really needed a book, to “library mentality,” where I would just grab and checkout anything that looked remotely interesting.
Not only did I save a lot of money, but I introduced myself to many genres and subjects that I never would have otherwise. Books on science, health, politics, business, motivation, and religion. Random books on things like the history of punctuation. Even a couple of “chic lit” books I enjoyed (I’m man enough to admit that I enjoy the female-centric comedic stylings of Meg Cabot…). None of these would have passed the “do I really need to buy this book test,” but I feel enriched now for having read them.
This is not fair. This is not fair at all. There was time now. There was, was all the time I needed...
And now it’s all going away, and I’m wishing I had taken out and read many more.
It’s possible that something will happen with the budget to keep the libraries open. It’s also likely that even if they do close that they will eventually re-open. And to be fair, my life will go on – though I plan on sending a letter to the legislature. Not just selfishly; I think that public libraries are a fantastic community resource.
(NOTE: In the 24 hours since I started writing this article, the state passed a bill that will keep the libraries open. Actually, they passed a more general bill that will keep a lot of Philadelphian employed, including the 700 or so police officers that were going to get laid off. Victory!)
The state’s action is great, but doesn’t alter the point of this post. For a while there, I thought that something I really loved but was kind of taking for granted was going away. And then I started to care. H
How many other things are going on right now in our lives that we are not fully appreciating? There’s the obvious one we all know: relationships. Time is precious, and it’s important to not lose sight of the moments we have with friends and family now.
There are many other, less obvious things that you may not be appreciating now, but you will when they are gone. The library. Your health. The free time (however much or little that may be) that you have now. That great local restaurant or coffee shop you assume will always be there. Some of the great musicians, comedians, and artists you have the opportunity to see live. That awesome (and cheap) bottle of 2004 Shiraz that is going to get harder and harder to find.
There is a school of thought that says if you want to be happier, just spend some time every day appreciating and being grateful for the things you have. Not a bad idea. Try it now. Look back over the last week and take notice of how many things you took for granted that you could or should be appreciating.
And get to the library before they threaten to close it again!!
P.S. Ok, we can make this post is a little bit of a tribute to 80’s Hair Metal Band Cinderella:
You talkin' to me? (Or just yourself, you weirdo...?)
A few days ago I posted about my experience of going to Lowe’s to buy a pipe snake. I left out a short but weird experience that made me think about the way the world communicates…
I was standing in the “plumbing” aisle looking at the various tools I could use to unclog my drain. A few minutes later, a man walks into the aisle, and when he’s a few feet away from me starts saying, “drain pipes. Drain pipes. Where are the drain pipes.” Clearly this is a man looking to buy a drain pipe.
The thing was though, he was saying this pretty loud. Not shouting loud, but conversational loud. He wasn’t just muttering this to himself.
So I am standing there with my back to him, trying to figure out if he is asking me where the drain pipes are or if he is just loudly talking to himself. I had no answer, but I was hoping he wasn’t speaking to me. He didn’t strike me as someone I would want to strike up a conversation with (why is it never a beautiful women who accosts me in public? Nope. Always a weird dude…). Yes, that may be judgmental, but to be fair, “talking to yourself at full volume in public” is a pretty good way to pre-qualify people out of my life.
Like any good improviser I stood there frozen. I was hoping that he, like a Jurassic Park T-Rex would be unable to see me if I didn’t move. After 20 or 30 seconds he left and I let out a deep breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I continue my scoping out of tools, when he suddenly comes back into my aisle. Blast!
On the plus side, his reappearance moved me out of my indecision on what to buy. I just picked the tool I initially thought was best and made straight for the checkout, lest he confuse me with his pseudo-self talk again.
This was one of the situations that makes me look at the world and say, “why?” I realize that he didn’t do anything wrong, and in the grand scheme of things if that’s the worst experience I ever have while shopping I am pretty lucky. But as a guy who writes and speaks on communication quite a bit, I couldn’t help but ask, “why?”
What compels a person to a) verbalize their internal thoughts and b) do it at a volume that disturbs or accidentally engages nearby people?
I suppose that in a world where people are so brazen as to talk full volume on their cell phones while walking down a sidewalk, on a crowded train, or worst of all, in a movie theater during a movie, this should not be a surprise.
But for those of you reading his blog, all I ask is that, before you open your mouth, you give half a second of thought to what you are going to say, how loud you will say it, who is around, and whether it is polite or necessary for you to proceed.
Of course you do; everyonde does! And I have good news: my friend and fellow speaker, Rich Hopkins, has put out a book titled “Go Ahead and Laugh.” It is a very cool book on the topic of how to add humor to your speeches.
I obviously like this book a lot (in fact, my testimonial is on that page at the bottom). Rich takes a unique approach. The book is a compilation of articles by 11 speakers giving their best advice on adding humor to speeches. However, rather than just being a traditional “compilation book,” “Go Ahead and Laugh” contains a transcript of each person’s entire speech (they are 5-7 minute speeches, so you get the whole thing). Rather than reading a lot of theory with mini-samples, you get to see the entire speech, which is a big help.
Each speech is accompanied by analysis by both Rich and the speaker him or herself. This makes the book a great blend of advice and example, and I don’t know of another book on the market that uses this effective approach.
Use the link to get this $24.95 book for only $17:
Order the book from Rich by next Wednesday, September 23rd and email me your order confirmation, and I will send you a code for $17 off my “Fundamentals of Being Funny as a Speaker” MP3 audio (normally $27). That’s right, I will discount you the entire amount you spend on Rich’s book off the audio. (learn more about the audio)
You know, most people don’t give it a lot of thought, but there is a difference between something being simple and something being easy. Similarly, there is a difference between something being complicated and something being hard. If you look deeper at those differences, you can learn a lot about why some people succeed while others fail.
For the sake of this post, here is how I am defining complexity and difficulty:
Complexity – How confusing is something to understand? How many parts or steps are there? A simple process is easy to understand and has few steps. A complicated process is difficult to understand and/or has many steps.
Difficulty – How much work or effort is involved. In short, how much of a pain in the ass will it be? An easy process is not a pain. You can perform it effortlessly. A hard process is a struggle and a giant pain to implement.
You can break most tasks into the four combinations of these traits:
Complexity
Complicated
2) The Illusion
3) The Fool (or the Genius)
Simple
1) The Dream
4) The Real Path
Easy
Hard
Difficulty
If you analyze these combinations, you can get a good look at where you are and why you may not be where you would like. As we go through the categories below I will use two examples, one personal (getting in shape) and one professional (getting business):
The Dream (simple and easy) – Ah, simple and easy. If only life would be so accomodating. I call this category “The Dream” for two reasons: 1) This is where you should be striving to end up and 2) for most people this remains a dream that keeps them paralyzed in inaction.
First, “simple and easy” is a great place to be. If you want to get in shape and you love playing tennis, then find people to play with or sign up for a league. It’simple (you know how to play and not confused by it) and easy (since you love it, it doesn’t feel like work). In business, align your marketing and sales activities with what you love. What will bring you business that is easy for you? If you can answer that question, you are pretty set.
Second, and sadly, many people refuse to take action until they find a path that is simple and easy. If you have been a couch potato for 20 years and can’t think of anything that would be simple and easy for you, you may feel incredibly unmotivated to do any kind of exercise. Professionally, maybe the things you love will not actually bring you business. If you hold on to the dream of waiting until you find a simple and easy activity, your business may stay just that: a dream.
Look for a simple and easy path, but if one is not readily apparent than be willing to follow another one. Your goal will then become to eventually make whatever path you take, “simple and easy.”
The Illusion (complicated and easy) – This seems to be where most people like to live. Obviously, everyone’s first choice will be to find “simple and easy” options. After that though, people seem to prefer “complicated and easy” over “simple and hard.”
Complicated and easy is appealing because we all like “easy.” Something may be complicated, but if we can find a system, a book, an infoproduct, or anything that lays out for us, step by step, how to do something, we feel good. We feel good because with a step by step system, things feel “easy.”
Am I bashing systems and books? No. In fact, I am in the midst of working on one of each right now. The problem is that most “compliacted and easy” solutions do not force a person to change their ingrained bahavior. Without that change, it makes it very hard to transition from “complicated and easy” to “simple and easy.” As you long as you follow the complicated plan, you’re fine. But it’s very easy to fall off.
There are many, many diets and exercise programs that are complicated and easy. Eat this with that! Hide healthy foods in your meals this way! Create a multi-tiered process of eating spread out over 12 weeks! To be honest, to me these are both complicated and hard. But to many people, the ability to turn of their brains and just eat what a book tells them to feels easy.
The same thing applies to business. I know; I have spent a long time researching, reading, and (sadly) buying books and programs on systems that are “guaranteed to get you business!” They all have many steps that seemingly lay out a clear plan, and I always get excited when I read them. But for me they fall short. Why? Because when you have a process with many steps, each step provides its own opportunity to fail.
If this is true, why are there so many systems out there? For one, people like them, and will continue buying them looking for the one that will work. And, some systems work for some people some of the time. Usually, it’s either when a person finds a system that to them appears to be simple and easy (based on their background and expertise) or when it’s a short term project where no internal change needs to happen.
You may be saying, “but Avish, in both of the above it seemed simple too.” Sure, in that, “doing what the book says” is simple. But remember, complexity can come in the form of volume too. The more rules, the more steps, the more individual action items, the more complex. For fitness, the real simplicity is obvious: “Eat better. Eat less. Exercise more.” In business, Larry Winget summed it up best: “Business is simple. Be absolutely amazing at what you do, and ask a lot of people to buy.”
The Fool (or the Genius) (complicated and hard) – “Complicated and hard” is an interesting one. If you follow a path that’s complicated and hard you are either a fool or a genius.
In most cases, you would be foolish. The chances for failure are high in complex and hard systems. The more complicated something is, the more opportunities there are to stumble. The harder it is, the more likely you are to get frustrated and unmotivated, and ultimately give up.
In some cases, however, “complicated and hard” is the path to genius. Building and launching a space shuttle is both. And if that is what you want to do, I am not going to tell you that you are foolish. The key is that the only path to that success is complicated and hard. In which case, go for it. But in those instances you must have a passion for your pursuit to make it.
If you are on a complicated and hard path, make sure that it is a path you truly want to and need to be on. Otherwise you may just be making your life a whole lot more difficult than it needs to be.
The Real Path (simple and hard)
This is where the real magic lies. Most of our quests for “complicated and easy” solutions stem from our desire to avoid “simple and hard” activities.
Think of a goal you’d like to achieve. Chances are that you can immediately think of a way of achieveing that goal that is simple and hard. I laid them out above for both fitness and business. Fitness: “Eat better. Eat less. Exercise more.” Business: “Business is simple. Be absolutely amazing at what you do, and ask a lot of people to buy.”
Is there more to it? Sure, but not much. Do you need a complicated system to tell you what constitutes good food vs. bad food? No. But is it always easy to eat well. No, not if you have a lifetime of eating poorly. Do you know what it will take to be amazing at what you do? Can you think of some ways to immediately start asking people to buy from you? Yes. Will either of those be easy? Probably not, otherwise you’d already be doing them.
In addition, in business, difficulty is barrier to entry. Your willingness to do what’s hard becaomes a competitive advantage simply because most others don’t want to do those things either!
This is not to say that you should spend the rest of your life doing hard things over and over. Life is too short for that kind of struggle. The nice thing is that as we consistently do hard things, we learn and grow as people. And through familiarty and repetition, hard things become easy, and before you know it you have moved into the “simple and easy” category – the Dream.
My primary strategy for this blog is pretty simple: post as close to everyday, Monday through Friday, as possible. Simple, but not always easy. It’s hard to write when I get busy, or am feeling blocked, or am travelling. And let me tell you, it was a lot harder when I started. But over time, it has gotten easier. I wouldn’t say it’s easy yet, but it’s getting there.
For me, improv comedy, speaking, and humor are simple and easy. That’s because I’ve distilled down what’s important to a few critical principles and practiced them enough to a point where they are now automatic.
This is the way habits are formed. If you are willing to push through the hard phase, you will eventually get to a point where things are simple and easy for you too.
Application
Because I know people like step by step processes, here’s one that I hope is simple and easy for you (yeah, I know there are 12 steps, but that’s only because I really broke it up here…):
Think of a goal you are trying to achieve
Are you currently taking action to pursue it? If not, is that because you are waiting around for a simple and easy answer? Or have you been shopping around for a good complicated and easy one?
If you are on a path towards your goal, consider which category that path falls into. Are you comfortable with that? If you following a complicated path, is it because you are desperately avoiding a hard one?
Wherever you are in your progress, ask yourself, “is there a simple and easy way to achieve this?”
If, “yes,” then you are done. Go do that!
If not, ask yourself, “is there a simple and hard way” to accomplish this?
If “no,” think harder.
If “yes,” ask, “am I willing to persevere through this until it becomes easy?”
If “yes,” great! Go do that!
If “no,” keep looking for solutions (and consider how important the goal is to you)
If you still feel compelled to follow a complicated course of action, than ask, “is this a one time short term process where it doesn’t matter if I develop a long term habit?” Or, “does this complicated long term action seemed to be aligned with what I consider ‘simple and easy’?” Or, “for this goal, am I ok knowing that I am avoiding the hard path that will lead to long term success?” (Note: this last one is not meant to be snarky or condescending. For some goals, you just don’t care enough. That’s fine, as long as you know)
If you answered yes to any of those, great! you’re done. If not, keep looking.
Not everything will be so simple as to be boiled down to one or two steps. But we would all do well to listen to Albert Einsten (he was a pretty smart dude): “Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.”
Some things that we must do and want to be simple will be complicated. Some things we wish were easy will be hard. But the first step in any process is always awareness. If you do nothing else but spend some time paying attention to which category your decisions and actions fall, you will be well ahead of the curve. And that, in and of itself, may be a simple and hard thing to do…but well worth it!
Lowes vs. Home Depot: 6 of 1, half a dozen of the other? Maybe, maybe not...(picture by doortoriver)
Have you ever thought about how little it takes to implant an opinion in someone’s mind? I learned this on a recent expedition to engage in a little home-plumbery.
Recently, I decided to cook myself dinner. And I’m not talking about throwing a frozen TV dinner into the microwave here; I was going all out and making Tandoori chicken (minus the clay oven) with a lentil-potato salad. Like all great chefs, I prefer a spotless organized kitchen so I clean as I go (ok, that’s a blatant lie, but I do try to keep things somewhat in control as I clean).
All was going well until I threw a bowl into the sink and ran the faucet to soak it. As the water was running I concerned myself with other tasks. I check back in on my bowl and notice that the sink is filling up with water. My first thought is that the bowl has stopped up the drain, but when I moved the bowl nothing changed. Hmmm. My next thought was that some food was stopping up the drain, but when I ran the garbage disposal nothing happened. Hmmm…
I pull the bowl completely out and run the garbage disposal again and notice that while the disposal is making the water swirl, it is not draining. Then the slow horrific truth sinks in: I have a clog.
My first thought was “Oh dear.” Ok, to be honest, my first thought was, “G$# D^%% !@#$ ^&($#!!!!” Which roughly translates to “Ding Happens”
This exact same problem happened about 10 months ago, and that time I called a plumber and it cost me around $200 to get it fixed (more than that actually, ’cause he upsold me on replacing a pipe at the same time.) I had no desire to pay another $200 to fix the same problem.
I have historically been not the not the best at the household repair type stuff, but this time I said, “I shall sally forth and make this valiant attempt myself.” Ok, to be honest, what I said was, “There is no way I am paying no !@#$ ^&($#!!!! dollars to fix my !@#$ ^&($#!!!! pipe again!” Which roughly translates to “it’s time you learned how to do this stuff and save yourself some money.”
I was happy with this plan, because I felt like I was implementing my own advice from my blog post, Your (Near) Decade-End Kick in the Ass! One of the questions I pose in there is, “what are you able to do now that you were not able to do a year ago?” For me, basic plumbing was it.
In order to fix the clog, I needed a pipe snake (or “auger” as it is technically called). I would have gone to my neighborhood hardware store, but it closes at 6PM, and it was now 6:15PM (my industrious motivation was ill-timed). This means I would have to go to either Lowe’s or Home Depot.
Both stores are located right next to each other, so there was no difference in driving time. I instinctively chose Lowe’s. Why? good question, and one I did not right away have the answer to. As I thought about it, I realized it came down to two things:
Something a Friend Said – A friend once told me that Home Depot positions itself as more “hard core,” whereas Lowe’s sets itself up as more user friendly. They do this via the layout, lighting, etc. I have no idea if this is true. I can say that I have been in both stores and other than the color scheme, I have never noticed a difference. And yet, this statement that a friend told me years ago stuck out in my head. So when I, an admitted, “not so great at the home repair type stuff,” guy, needed some equipment, I went to Lowe’s.
Something I Read – I recently read an online listing of “Worst Customer Service Companies.” Home Depot was on that list. As I said, I have been to both Home Depot and Lowe’s a few times, and have never had bad service. If you took all the branding away, I certainly couldn’t tell you which store I was in based on the “customer experience” I had. And I am pretty sure the article was referring more to their service when it came to returns and dealing with bad equipment, which wouldn’t really apply to me here. But, all other things being equal, I went to the store that did not appear in the article on bad customer service.
Amazing! Looking at my own personal history, I did not have a single experience to validate either of those two claims. But both of those things led me to Lowe’s over Home Depot.
The Lesson
Impressions matter. Positioning matters. How people perceive you matters. The playing field is getting very level. Malls have two or three (if not dozens) of stores for you to buy what you want. Competing stores open right next to each other – Home depot down the street from Lowe’s, McDonald’s across the street from Burger King, Borders a block or two away from Barnes and Nobles). And the internet opens the field up to hundreds and thousands of alternatives to you.
With this much choice, things start to look equal. When that happens consumers will decide based on their perception of you, valid or not.
This is why it so critical to make creating a positive impression an “automatic response.” Whether it’s a teenager working the register, a customer service rep answering the phone, a salesperson making a sales call, or an executive giving an interview, every instance someone in your organization interacts with the public is a touch point that can either help or hurt.
People make quick judgements that aren’t always rational. I made a choice based on two things I can’t even say I agree with. Take a look at your business and organization (and personal life) and make an honest assessment as to whether the impressions that are being sent out are the ones you want sent out. If not, change them now. Otherwise people may be passing you by and you would never even know it.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with my kitchen sink and a pipe snake…
This album came out 35 years ago. I was 1 year old...
(Want more Rush? Join The Daily Rush Facebook Group! Each day I will post one Rush song and share my thoughts on it. All members are invited to share their thoughts on the song too. It’s a great way for new fans to learn more about Rush and for seasoned fans to revisit the catalog, one song at a time!)
Rush is awesome!
(No, not Rush Limbaugh. The Canadian rock trio, Rush.)
If you have been following my stuff for more than a week, you know I love this band. One of the things I love most about them is the awesome lyrics they write. Unlike most bands who write 50% of their songs about being in love, 45% of their songs about falling out of love, and then, for the remaining 5%, throw in an occasional “political awareness to show that I am not shallow” song, Rush songs cover a wide spectrum of topics. Not only do I find the music to be awesome, but I quite often find myself either reflecting or pumped up as I sing along (I also then realize that I can’t sing, but that’s the topic for another post…)
Here then are 5 great motivational lines from Rush songs (in chronological order):
1) Subdivisions
Album: Signals
Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights…
Perhaps my favorite set of lyrics ever. The song is about teens who have trouble fitting in when they live in the ‘burbs, so when they grow up they move to the excitement of the city. But then, as the lyrics above indicate, they eventually give up on their dreams, get frustrated, and move back to the suburbs out of memories from a quieter time (thus perpetuating the cycle). I know, it’s a very happy song…
Every time I listen to this song (which is quite often), I am reminded of the dangers of losing site of my big picture dreams, and to not settle for an existence that will result in restlessness and frustration. This is true regardless of whether you love or hate the suburbs.
Rush Wants to Know: Are you “losing the race to rats?” Have you “sold your dreams for small desires?”
2) Marathon
Album: Power Windows
Your meters may overload
You can rest at the side of the road
You can miss a stride
But nobody gets a free ride
More than high performance
More than just a spark
More than just the bottom line
Or a lucky shot in the dark
In the long run…
As the title indicates, this song is about the importance of constantly moving forward and not looking for just one big flash. The line “in the long run” is repeated through the song as a reminder that life is a very long marathon and not a quick sprint. And yet, too often, it seem like people look for a fast solution. Get rich quick schemes, rapid weight loss programs, one huge romantic gesture, etc. Much more often than not, these have no lasting effect.
I also appreciate the sentiment that it’s ok to get overloaded, misstep, or take a break. But at some point you have to get up and put one foot in front of the other. Remember: nobody gets a free ride.
Rush Wants to Know: Are you taking steady and constant action to progress your life, or are are you just fumbling around, looking for the “lucky shot in the dark?”
3) Mission
Album: Hold Your Fire
Hold your fire
Keep it burning bright
Hold the flame ’til the dream ignites
A spirit with a vision is a dream
With a mission
Fairly obvious lyrics. What I like though is the concept that just having the dream isn’t enough. We all have dreams. What they are saying here is to hold on to that dream until it ignites. This is a great balance between the commonplace advice of never giving up on your dreams and the importance of actually doing something about it.
A follow up line: “But dreams don’t need to have motion / To keep their spark alive / Obsession has to have action / Pride turns on the drive” Having dreams is great, and you don’t need to do anything about them to stay passionate. But at some point you need action and drive.
Rush Wants to Know: Are you holding onto your fire and keeping it burning bright? Are you keeping the dream alive until it ignites into drive and action?
4) Bravado
Album: Roll the Bones
When the dust has cleared
And victory denied
A summit too lofty
River a little too wide
If we keep our pride
Though paradise is lost
We will pay the price
But we will not count the cost
Perhaps my favorite Rush song ever (and by extension, perhaps my favorite song ever). Top to bottom, the lyrics in Bravado are awesome!
Simple point: If you try your best, keep your head up, and still come up short, do not count it as a failure. To quote Stephen Pressfield from the War of Art: “…it’s better to be in the arena, getting stomped by the bull, than to be up in the stands or out in the parking lot.”
Rush Wants to Know: What are you not attempting because your are afraid of being denied victory?
5) Resist
Album: Test for Echo
You can fight
Without ever winning
But never ever win
Without a fight
Achieving anything of note is rarely easy. Sure, you can make it fun, minimize the unpleasantness, and outsource the stuff you hate. But ultimately, there will be challenges (Ding Happens after all). If you are unwilling or unable to dig in and fight when needed you will never really win.
(Random side note: I think I instantly fell in love one year at a wedding when the bride’s sister said, “My favorite band is Rush,” and then quoted this song. Unfortunately for me, she was married with three kids. Hmm, maybe I should have heeded the songs advice of “never winning without a fight…”)
Rush Wants to Know: What struggles are you avoiding that are preventing you from winning?
Summary
You’ve probably noticed a theme amongst the songs here. They all focus on going after your dreams and not giving up when things get tough. Go figure, I’m the Motivational Smart Ass, remember?
Motivation gets a bad rap, mostly due to the fact that people have now realized that motivation isn’t enough. (Remember, “obsession has to have action?”) As a speaker, my presentations have a healthy dose of practical advice and actions people can immediately take. But this is not to say that motivation is meaningless; it’s not. Motivation is a critically important component, because no matter what great info I have, if I am not tapped into my inner drive, I will never take action on that information.
As I re-listened to these songs I found myself getting pumped up. I hope you’ll give them a listen too. But if Rush isn’t your thing, you can probably think of a handful of songs by artists you like that get you motivated. Use them to your advantage. Listen to those songs in the morning, or when you are feeling down or particularly unmotivated.
And please, if Rush isn’t your thing, keep it to yourself. I don’t think my heart (or blog) could take that kind of rejection…:-)
(Want more Rush? Join The Daily Rush Facebook Group! Each day I will post one Rush song and share my thoughts on it. All members are invited to share their thoughts on the song too. It’s a great way for new fans to learn more about Rush and for seasoned fans to revisit the catalog, one song at a time!)
For those of you who think I can only rant about the stupid stuff in the world (such as when people forget to be polite), here’s an example of someone who seemed to do the right thing automatically.
Yesterday I was out to lunch with a friend. After lunch, as we were walking out of the restaurant, there were two elderly ladies in front of us. I won’t hazard to guess how old, but let’s just say this may not have been the first “09/09/09” they have seen. One of them was walking with a walker.
We were behind them, and the non-walker using woman walks through the door, holds it open for the other woman, and then continues to hold it open for us. That’s right, here we were, two strapping young men (ok, maybe not “strapping young men,” but neither of us were using equipment to stay mobile) and this kind old woman was holding the door open for us. Of course we had already leaned forward to hold the door open for both of them, but she didn’t know that.
This to me was very cool. Here is a woman that would have every reason to not bother holding the door for two younger men, and no one would fault her for ignoring us and focusing on herself and her friend. And yet for her, her politeness was automatic. It was just in her nature to hold the door.
This should be a lesson to people who like to reference circumstances, moods, or external forces when they try to justify impolite behavior. Your behavior will fall back to what’s natural for you to do.
Yesterday, Monday, September 7th, was Labor Day here in the U.S. For most people I know, Labor Day signifies the end of Summer, start of Fall, back to school, a last chance to hit the beach, the Jerry Lewis Telethon, some kind of obscenely long marathon of a USA channel TV show, or simply a much needed three day weekend.
Few people reflect on the origin of Labor Day or even know what exactly it is celebrating. You can use the Wikipedia link above to read all the details, but in a nutshell, the original Labor day was to have,
“A street parade to exhibit to the public “the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations,” followed by a festival for the workers and their families”
I don’t know about you, but I know for me, over the course of the 36 Labor Days in my life, I have never once thought about the esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations.
This year, now that the bbqs and beach trips are past and the kids are back at school, why not take just a minute to reflect on Labor Day?
If trade and labor organizations aren’t your thing, at least take a minute to reflect on what you consider “labor” – that thing you do called “work.”
Here are a few questions for reflection:
Do you appreciate your job? – Even if you hate your job, at least appreciate that you have one. Especially at this particular time in history. Be thankful for the opportunity to be able to earn a living.
Do you like your job? – Ok, the above point is not mean to get you to shut up about your current job if you hate it. Do you like what you are doing? To paraphrase one of my favorite Stephen King quotes: “The answer doesn’t always have to be “yes.” But if it’s usually “no,” you should seriously consider moving on.
Are you trading each day for more of what you want out of life? – I have had jobs I liked (good work, great people) but ultimately I knew that the job wasn’t taking me anywhere. I was not trading each day for more of what I wanted. Being happy with what you are doing every day is great, but the last thing you want to do is wake up in 5, 10, 20, 40 years and say, “oh man, I wish I had gone for it.
If you are currently unemployed, this article is not meant to rub it in. You can ask yourself the same questions as above, just with slight modification:
Do you appreciate your life and your opportunities? – So you don’t have a job, and you may be bitter and depressed about it. But you clearly have internet access. I am assuming you have a place to live. There are millions and millions of people in the world who do not have a job, and moreover do not have a place to live, clean water to drink, and don’t even have the opportunity to find work they like or love.
Do you like and actually want the jobs you are applying for? – Obviously, survival is key so getting any work when unemployed is vital. But this is also a good time to reflect on what kind of work you are doing and want to do. Apply for whatever you can get, but also apply for the stuff you really want, not just for the stuff you used to do. If viable, consider going to school or taking on an apprenticeship.
Are you trading each day for more of what you want out of life? – Whether you are working or not, you are still investing the same amount of time in your life as everyone else. How are you spending the time that you are not actively looking for work? Laying on the couch watching TV and eating Doritos? (Believe me, I’ve been there!) Or taking advantage of the time to do all the things you would do “someday?” Start that novel, learn French, get in great shape, or just reconnect with all the people you have lost touch with when you were too busy. Find the opportunity to make the most of every situation. .
Take the time to do this now! And, for further reflection, take a look at my recent, Your (Near) Decade-End Kick in the Ass! post. There’s lots of thinking to be done!
Today the Motivational Smart Ass becomes the Motivational Kick Ass. As in “Kick You in the ass”
No, not that kind of a kick in the ass...(Photo by jpockele)
That’s right folks, now that August is over, there are only four months left in the year. That means 2/3rds of the year is over. And, since this is 2009, that also means there are only four months left in the decade! That means that 29/30ths of the decade is over!
(Before you smart asses out there feel compelled to email or comment on the fact that “there was no year 0, so the decade will actually end at the end of 2010,” let me just say, “shut up.” I’m looking at the tens digit. Besides, our numbering convention is fairly arbitrary and many of our “important” dates – like January 1 – are only important because we choose to make it so. The new year could begin on May 31st and it would all be pretty much the same thing – except more awesome!)
Now that the weather is changing, kids are going back to school, and the Fall TV lineup is about to start, I think this is a good time for reflection. Here are some questions to ask yourself as you sally forth into the end of the year and decade. They may make you think, and remember: it’s never to late for a little course correction!
Reflections on the Year
This year…
How much fun have you had? Life is too short. You don’t need to be having fun every minute of every day (and if you think you do, take a look at the next point), but if like so many people you looked at this question and reflexively answered, “Not enough!” then you need to take a look at your life and add some fun in. Not only does fun make life more enjoyable, but it will make you more productive and more able to handle the un-fun stuff when you have to.
Ask yourself:What can I do to add some fun into my life?
Sometimes you gotta take a look at yourself and reflect...
How uncomfortable have you made yourself? No one likes to be uncomfortable. But the truth is that all of our growth, progress, and success is going to come after we push ourselves through discomfort. Don’t be miserable, but if you haven’t made yourself uncomfortable (in a good way) this year, you’re probably playing it too safe.
Ask yourself:What can I do to make myself a little uncomfortable?
How much have you failed? This is similar to the “uncomfortable” point above. No one likes failure, and failing can have consequences. But if you haven’t failed, then you probably haven’t pushed yourself anywhere near the limits of your potential. And that’s just a shame.
Ask yourself:What can I try that I might not succeed at?
How have you helped others? Whether it’s volunteering, working for a charity, giving advice to someone junior to you (when asked for!), or just lending a hand to a friend, helping others is a great thing. You’ll feel better about yourself, and remember: Karma’s a bitch.
Ask yourself:How can I help?
How much weight have lost? I had to ask. You know you started this year with a goal of losing X pounds. How’s that goin’ for ya?
Ask yourself:Who wants to go to McDonalds! (ok, not a great question, but I’m not a fitness guru…)
What did you let go of? Perhaps the most important one on the list. It’s easy to make a list of dreams and goals and actions we should be taking. What’s harder to see are the things we are holding on to that hold us back. it could be an activity, a habit, a person, a job, or simply a limiting belief. It’s hard to let go because a)we have been holding on for so long we don’t even realize it and b) we are afraid to let go. For the first point, take a minute now to think about all the things you regularly do and all the people you regularly see. Is there anything there you can let go of? For the second point, re-read the points above on being uncomfortable and failing.
Ask yourself:What should I let go of?
Reflections on the Decade
Ten years is a loooooooooooooooooong time. Think back to where you were, who you were, and what you were doing ten years ago. Think about the hopes, plans, and dreams you had. How does you current life stack up to what you thought it would be ten years ago? Chances are, it’s very different. Most plans don’t last ten months, much less ten years (Ding Happens!). It’s not important that you’re doing exactly what you thought you would be ten years ago. But it is important to look at why.
In the last ten years…
Ten years ago, this was the most highly anticipated movie ever. Sometimes things don not work out as planned
What decisions have you made? Decisions precede actions. Over the last ten years you have made many decisions, and those are what lead you to this point. Are you happy with those decisions? Did they serve you in getting to where you wanted to go?
Ask yourself:What decision did I make that took me off course can I now correct?
What decisions have you not made? Of course, there are probably some decisions you know you should make that you have not made at all. Some (like me) would say that that in and of itself is another decision. To quote my favorite rock band, Rush, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” Time doesn’t slow down or stop for anyone, and the decisions we don’t make usually leech or life away more than the decisions we do.
Ask yourself:What decision that I have been avoiding can I make today??
What did you put off until “someday,” only to find that it’s years later and someday hasn’t come? I guarantee you that there have been some things that you have been telling yourself for years that you would do “someday.” Maybe when you have more time, or more money, or when other things are handled. Stop putting them off. The time will never be exactly right. But if you keep putting it off, time will eventually be up.
Ask yourself:What have I always wanted to do that I can start doing this week?
Are you happy with the direction your life has moved in (and continues to move in)? There’s a difference between progress and activity. You have probably done a lot of stuff in the last ten years. But has it progressed you to where you want to go? You can’t change exactly where you are at this moment, but you can change direction in an instant.
Ask yourself:What can I do to change direction?
How much weight have you lost? Had to ask again :-). Has this been on your “goal list” for ten years? I say either get serious or just let it go.
Ask yourself:I still can’t find that damn McDonalds… (see point above)
What were you afraid of or did not believe you could do that you are now not afraid of or feel comfortable doing? There are many ways to measure growth and progress, but this is one of my favorites. If you can look back on something you were bad at, or didn’t like, or were afraid of, and now you feel comfortable doing it, then that’s growth. If you can’t think of anything, then maybe you should find some stuff now to start challenging yourself to grow.
Ask yourself:What can I commit myself to getting better at?
These are just a few questions to get you thinking. They will probably lead you to asking yourself and others some even deeper questions. This type of reflection is good to do more than once every ten years. Remember, the dates are arbitrary; every day is the end of another ten year span of time.
2/3rds of the year and 29/30ths of the decade are gone. What are you going to do to make the most of the last 1/3rd and 1/30th?
Today I read an excellent article my friend and fellow speaker Scott Ginsberg (“The Guy With the Name Tag”) posted on his blog about “Executing Exquisitely”:
I regularly read Scott’s blog, and his stuff is very good. This particular post, however, really resonated with me. It’s worth a full read, but here are a few things I’d like to highlight/add:
As the title of the article would indicate, the article is about executing. Planning is great, but if you never take action, your plans are useless
His points on Being Impatient, asking What’s the Next Action, and Don’t Be Stopped By Not Knowing How are great, and we would all do well to remember them. All three ideas embrace the Yes, And Mentality so important in improvisation.
Fail Like You Mean It is a critical idea, and another one I talk about when it comes to improv and success. As I have said before, if you’re not failing, you’re probably not doing enough.
His last point, Consistency is far better than rare moments of greatness, is probably the most powerful. Too often we all (myself included) look for the grand gesture, the huge moment, or the one-shot homerun. The people who achieve real success, however, are the ones who take action every day. Big action, small action, whatever; the key is to keep moving, day after day, week after week, month after month, and yes, even year after year. That’s why you’d better be damn sure you like what you’re doing. Anyone can put up with something they hate for a short burst. But to really succeed you need to be willing to take consistent action for the long haul…
Take a second an ask yourself, “how am I executing today?” Or, to put it as Scott does in his post, “LET ME ASK YA THIS…Are you executing exquisitely?”
