Personal Development Training and Motivational Humor from the Motivational Smart Ass!

A friend of mine posted a link to the article below on Facebook. It’s about a youth soccer league in Canada that instituted a new rule: If a team leads by goals, that team loses! Read it for yourself:

Win By Five, Lose The Game, Says Absurd Youth Soccer Rule

That’s right, if your team is winning by five goals, then your team loses.

One more time:
Your team.
Up by five.
You lose.

What.

The.

Heck?!?!

The article says (though not quoting anyone in particular), “It’s all about self-esteem, and fostering a “non-competitive” environment.”

Brilliant. Let’s start a league involving a competitive sport and then make it a non-competitive environment. Riiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhtttttt…

I’m not a child therapist, or a parent, so maybe somebody else can clue me in on this. Maybe there is a ton of research that says that kids who are on badly losing teams grow up to do bad, bad things. If so, I would like to see this study.

Look, I get it: losing sucks. Getting blown out sucks worse. But is the answer to insulate kids from all potentially bad situations?

I don’t think so.

The article says the league has over 3,000 kids from ages 4-18. I can see setting up a rule like that for the really young ones, just to make sure it stays fun (or better yet, not keeping with score). I can also see having penalties and consequences for taunting or gloating (unsportsmanlike conduct or something of the sort). Or doing the whole “mercy killing” thing and calling the game when one team gets too far ahead. Or even breaking up overly dominant teams to create parity. But to penalize the winning team for doing everything right is just stupid.

“Self-esteem”? I can tell you if I was on a team that was down 0-4 and I won because the other team scored yet another goal, I don’t think my self-esteem would suddenly skyrocket.

And what lessons is this rule teaching the kids in this league? I can think of a few:

1. If things get too bad, quit, because society will make it all ok for you.
2. Don’t be too good or achieve too much. Your success is unfair to the others.
3. Losing is awful, and you should avoid it at all costs. You should never be forced to face failure.

The last one is the most destructive. Yes, losing sucks and getting blown out sucks more. But guess what? That’s a part of life. There is no way to protect yourself or anyone else from failing, and occasionally failing big. Oh wait, there is one: don’t ever try to do anything!

One of the most useful lessons a person can learn, whether they are young or old, is how to face failure. Learning to continue to play hard and not give up when your team is getting blown out is a great lesson. So too is learning how to get blown out and not cry, whine, or start a fight. Most important is learning how to come back for the next game, even after you got blown out in the last one.

There is no parity in the world. If one person gets a job, that means a dozen other applicants get rejected. If I get a speaking gig, that means that a bunch of other speakers didn’t get it. Just about every happily married couple has left a few broken hearts in their wake. It sucks. It happens. It’s life.

The person who succeeds is not the one who insulates themselves from failure and loss. The person who succeeds is the one who learns that, “hey, I can face a loss but life goes on, I just need to pick myself back up and keep going.”

This seems to be yet another case of Policy Meets Dumbassery…

I suppose the idea is noble: let’s make it fun for the kids and help them build self-esteem. But the policy created to make that happen is ludicrous. Aren’t there many, many better ways of doing that than creating an absurdly stupid rule that hurts people who do well while never really benefits anyone else? My self-esteem is not going to soar watching the other team play “keep away” with the ball for 20 minutes once they are up by four points.

Here’s a crazy (and in my opinion better) idea I just thought of to achieve the goal in a less stupid way: If a team goes up by five points, end the game, make them the winner, and then spend the rest of the allotted game time with the winning kids leading a practice with the losing team. Winners get the win, the losing team gets instruction, the winners get their egos stroked by being able to teach, and everyone’s game gets upped. Would this work? Maybe, maybe not. Will it ever be implemented? Probably not. Do I think it’s better than the original idea? Oh yeah…

Here’s a simpler one I just thought of: Call the game for the leading team if they go up by five. Then scrimmage with the teams mixed up. The winners still get the win, but then the game continues with more evenly matched team. The kids get to meet and interact with new people, and everyone has more fun playing a competitive game.

Ugh, I could probably go on for thousands of words with ideas better than the original policy.

But since I am assuming you are not in a youth soccer league nor do you create the policies for one, there is no point in brainstorming up a big list of better solutions. Instead, I invite you to look at the policies (written or implied) in your own life (personal and professional). Are they grounded in intelligence that helps you achieve the goals you have for yourself and your business, or are they simply haphazard knee-jerk responses that do more harm than good? A little thought goes a long way…

As I said, I am not a therapist or parent. I’m not going to tell you how to raise your children, how to run your youth soccer league, or even how to be Canadian (I’m sure the US won’t be far behind…). But at the end of the day, success comes not from preventing all chance of failure or avoiding anything painful; it comes from learning how to face it, deal with, and keep going.

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Motivational Humorist page now!
 

As a Motivational Humorist, it is my job to see the best in people, make them laugh, and help them achieve all they can. I like this job. I like to see the best in people, and I do believe that all people are capable of achieving great things.

Then I read a story of such utter stupidity that it makes me wonder if we, as an entire human race, are just doomed to spend our days sitting on our couches, eating pork rinds, and watching reruns of Jersey Shore

I came across this story the other day of a woman who is suing Google for giving her bad directions on their Google Maps service. You can read the story here:

Woman Sues Google for Bad Directions

In a nutshell, the woman was following the “Walking Directions” on Google Maps and her directions told her to “walk down a rural highway. She started walking down the highway–which had no sidewalk or pedestrian paths–and was struck by a car.”

According to the article, she is suing Google for “her medical expenses ($100,000), as well as punitive damages.”

What.

The.

Heck?!?!

You should go read that again. I had to read it two or three times to let it sink in…

Google told her to walk down a highway, and she did, and she got hit by a car. And now she’s suing!?

Incredible.

Sadly, this is not an isolated incident. There have been many stories recently of people driving into trees, along train tracks, into rivers, or even nearly off a cliff, all because they were blindly following their GPS. One article claims that 300,000 car crashes in the UK can be blamed on GPS systems.

I…I don’t know what to say…Are that many people that stupid that they will slavishly obey a GPS instruction that tells them to drive into a ditch, or turn the wrong way onto a one way street, or drive on railway tracks? Or to walk down the middle of a highway?? I would like to think that people would have more sense that. Heck, I would like to believe that a mildly trained bicycle riding bear would have more sense than that…

Stories like these truly make you want to throw your hands up in the air and yell, “what’s the point!” Then, on top of that, the walking woman has the gall to sue? Talk about frivolous lawsuits. The sad thing is that she may very well get a settlement, just because it may be cheaper and easier for Google to cut her a check to just go away.

This strikes me as the type of person who should be locked away just to make sure they don’t hurt themselves or anyone else with their utter lack of common sense.

Now you’re smart enough to be reading my blog, so I am going to assume that you are not the type of person who would blindly follow GPS directions into oncoming traffic (of course, you know what they say about people who assume, so maybe I should reserve judgement until we meet…:-) ), but I figured it would still be worth pulling out a few lessons we can all take away from other people’s stupidity.

Take Responsibility

Look, I get it. The GPS system that you have come to rely so deeply on told you to turn left onto a one way street. But you were the dumbass who made the turn! Take some responsibility! Sure, if your car was on “auto-drive” (a feature which, if this is the state of GPS systems, I hope does not exist for a long time), and your car drove itself into a tree, you might have a beef. But if you are the one in the driver’s seat, then you, not the machine, piece of paper, or passenger sitting next to you, are responsible for the choices you make and the direction you go.

Life is the same way. Lots of people will give you advice, instruction, and guidance. But ultimately, you are responsible for the choices you make and the direction you take your life in.

Technology is Precise, Not Infallible

Technology is good for two things: super fast processing power and huge data storage. That means that computers can a) know a lot more than you and b) process lots of data very quickly with very few math errors.

However, all that means is that technology will run precise data calculations based on what it assumes to be true! If the data was entered incorrectly (and chances are it was entered by a human), then it’s just going to spit bad results up to you. Or, if things have changed since the data was entered, then the results will be wrong.

Technology is awesome and helpful, but it is the tool, not the master. Don’t give it more power than it deserves. use your own brain and make your own decisions.

Pay Attention

Ah, here’s a point I feel I return to again and again. How many of life’s little (and big) problems would go away if people would just start paying some damn attention?

Is there really any excuse for driving your car into a tree because the GPS told you to? That would imply that either a) you were not paying attention at all to the road and simply doing what the computer told you to or b) you believed so much in the power of your GPS that you assumed you would somehow magically phase through the tree and be ok. I am not sure which one is better…

Paying attention simply means to be aware of the world around. Look where you are going. Notice the impact your words and actions are having on the people around you. If you do this, there is no way you will crash your car due to bad GPS directions. If you do this out of your car, you will also automatically deliver better service, be a better teammate and/or leader, and have stronger relationships. It’s a no-brainer.

I think the GPS accidents would be funnier if they weren’t so sad and so dangerous. Please, please, please, the next time you are in a car following a GPS, pay attention, remember that technology can make mistakes, and take responsibility for your actions. Do this on the road and you will be a safer driver. Do this in life, and you will make your life easier and more successful.

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Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Motivational Humorist page now!
 

I have a guest post up at Pick The Brain. You can read it here:

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Ask For Advice

Give it a read before you go asking people for advice! If you like it, leave a comment there (and use their “Re-Tweet” button to pass it on)…

Have you ever been confounded simply by the way someone was walking in front of you? I have…

I was taking a train to Metuchen, NJ this past weekend. This is not a stop I usually get off at, nor even a train route I normally take. As we leave the station immediately before Metuchen the conductor comes on the PA system and says, “the last four cars will not be up to the platform, so if you are getting off, move to the front.”

I’ll be honest, when I got on the train I had no idea at all what car I was in. All I knew is that I was not in the first car or last; other than that, I had nothin’. I accepted the possibility that I was in the last four cars, but thought I could figure it out at the station.

A few minutes later, the train slows and stops. I look out the window and I see no platform. The weird thing was that at no point did conductor, on the PA or in person, say, “now arriving at Metuchen.” I wasn’t sure if we were at the station or just stopped temporarily on the tracks.

Not wanting to miss my stop, I look down the aisle. At the nearest door in front of me, a few guys are standing waiting. I look beyond them, however, and get the sense that people are getting off the train. Uh-oh…

I spring up and start moving quickly forward. As I get to the first door (with the guys who were just standing there), it seems that one of the guys gets the same idea I did. Sort of…

You see, he does one of those, “half uncertain meandering walks” where he slowly starts walking forward trying to figure out if this is his stop or not.

I don’t know if you gave been on a train recently, but if not, there are two things you should know:

1. The aisles aren’t really wide enough for passing.
2. They don’t stop for very long at the stations.

Now I’m stuck behind this doofus who is slowly, indecisively, ambling forward, still trying to figure out whether we are at his station.

We are still kind of moving forward, so I am torn between a) tapping him on the shoulder and saying, “excuse me, this is my stop,” b) saying, “excuse me” and pushing past him, c) saying, “excuse me, but would you MOVE YOUR !@#$%^* @$$” while I smacked him in the head.

Just as I am about to pick one of those options (I won’t tell you which one), this Mensa candidate seems to finally realize, “hey, I think this is the station, I better pick it up and move!” I honestly feel I could actually see a light bulb go off in his head.

Fortunately, he figured it out in time and we both got safely off the train. Probably less than 30 seconds later, the train doors closed behind us. I have to say, I was more than a little annoyed at this guy.

As I walked down the platform to meet my ride, I started thinking about the whole situation. Here are three things I think we can all takeaway from my experience with this master of dumbiosity:

Make a Decision!

This is one of those things that infuriates me to no end. Why is it so hard for some people to make a decision? I get it; some decisions are so important that if you mess it, things can go seriously wrong. Most decisions in our lives are not like that.

Unless you are trying to diffuse a bomb and need to decide between cutting the red or blue wire, chances are your decision isn’t a life or death matter. Sure, we all have life changing decisions to make from time to time (do I buy this house, do I take this new job across the country, do I get married, etc), but those types of decisions come along once in a rare while.

What I am talking about are the teeny tiny decisions we face everyday: What do I eat for dinner? Do I turn right or left at this intersection? Should I buy this shirt or not? Do I accept this invite to a friend’s party? Where do I go on vacation this year? And yes, “do I walk forward on this train to see if this is my stop?”

So many people add stress to their lives by being unable or unwilling to make decisions. The problem is that people are so afraid not only to make a wrong decision, but also to make the less than best decision. This is a recipe for useless torment.

It doesn’t need to be that hard. Make a quick assessment. Decide on a choice. Moce forward. If it doesn’t work fix it, change choices, and move on.

Pay Attention!

I suppose it was possible that he didn’t know that the station platform didn’t reach the last four cars of the train. But if he didn’t, he only had himself to blame! I never take this train route, and I knew it. Everyone else seemed to know it. The only reason he could not know it is if he was simply not paying attention to the announcements.

This is the kind of stupidity and idiocy that drives me crazy (and that I write about on this blog). Not intelligence, or IQ, or grades, or degrees. But rather the simple stupidity born from illogic, a lack of common sense, and the inability to pay attention. If you want to avoid stupid mistakes, start by paying more attention.

Be Assertive!

Here is where I say, mea culpa. At the end of this story, had I missed my station, I would only have myself to blame. Don’t get me wrong, I’d blame the heck out of the guy in front of me, and write a blog post ranting about it, but it would have ultimately been my responsibility.

I could have moved to the front of the train immediately upon hearing the announcement. I could have asked someone if they knew which car we were on. And, most importantly, I could have immediately pointed out to the guy that this was my stop and I needed to get off.

I’m all for being polite, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be assertive sometimes when needed.

Things don’t need to be that complicated. Pay attention, make a decision, and be assertive. Do those three simple things, and you’ll get a lot farther in life (and miss fewer train stops…)

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Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Motivational Humorist page now!
 

I checked out one of my readers’ websites and saw a simple “happiness flowchart.”

You can see it for yourself here.

To sum it up, the chart basically says, “if you are not happy and want to be happy, then do something different.”

Seems too simple, right?

Maybe. But then again, it seems like many, many people don’t follow this simple advice. They aren’t happy, but they stay at the same jobs, live in the same place, stay with the same people, do the same thing day aftar day after day. They remain unhappy, want to be happy, but never do anything different to make it so.

Take a look at an area of your life where you aren’t happy but would like to be. Can you do something different?

• Unhappy with your job? Look for a different one. Or do your current one in a different way.
• Unhappy with your body? Eat different. Or exercise different.
• Unhappy with your relationship? Have a different conversation. Do something different with your partner. Or, if you must, get a different partner.

The list goes on and on. If you are not happy, do something different. If that doesn’t work, do something else different. Keep trying to you figure it out.

It may a simple ideas, but sometimes (usually) the simple ideas are the most powerful…