PBT: How to Make Good Decisions Without Pistol Whipping Your Mother

Here’s another one from the “stupid young criminal” file…

Turns out a girl, an honor student who had already been accepted into multiple Ivy League schools, got herself into a bit of trouble. You can read the full story here:

Rachel Hachero, Honor Student, Pistol-Whips Mom, Forces Her to Buy Car at Gunpoint

In a nutshell, Rachel Hachero, a 17 year old honor student in Fort Meyers Florida, decided that she wanted to buy a used 2004 Nissan 305Z, and she needed her mom to co-sign the loan. Her mom said no, and that’s when things got interesting…

Did Rachel do what many other high school kids facing issues with their parents would have done? Did she:

• Go to her room, slam the door, crank up the Morrisey and feel sorry for herself?
• Lament to her friends about how much her life sucks and how she has the worst mom ever?
• Get motivated and take on a part time job to go out and but a car herself?

Nope. She did none of those things. Those would have been reasonable (or at least understandable) ways to react.

So what did she do?

Yup, she did what any sane, rational person would do in this situation:

She got a gun, pistol whipped her mom, then forced her mother to co-sign the car loan at gunpoint.

Wow. Just…wow…

The next day, after Rachel went to school, her mom searched her room and found the gun and (surprise!) drugs, and called the cops.

Of course the mom didn’t want the cops to arrest the girl, since that might affect her ability to attend an Ivy League college.

Folks, you just can not make this stuff up.

Obviously, there is a lesson on child rearing here, but, since I don’t have kids, I am not going to get into that.

Instead, let’s just focus on one lesson that we can all learn from this nerdy little Goodfella…

A Little Impulse Control Can Keep You Out of a Lot of Trouble

I am going to go ahead and assume that you, when things don’t go your way, don’t immediately resort to pistol whipping as a negotiation technique. However, many people do make some bad choices in those first few seconds and minutes after an unexpected setback messes up their plans (Ding Happens!).

Here are a few ways that people deal with the unexpected Dings of life that are, shall we say…less than ideal. While they are not as bad as pistol whipping your mother, they will still do nothing but add stress and make your life harder than it has to be:

• Snapping at someone with a personal insult
• Engaging in a pointless argument instead of keeping your mouth shut or walking away
• Running around bad mouthing the person behind their back (you know it makes you look bad and will get back to them eventually)
• Posting something stupid on Facebook or Twitter
• Getting physical. Maybe you don’t pistol whip, but a shove, push, slap, or punch are all physical responses that can open up a world of trouble for you.

These are all responses we have seen others do (or maybe do ourselves) when they let their emotions take over and lose the ability to control their impulses.

The Simple Solution

In my keynote speeches and workshops, I talk about a simple technique you can use to avoid this problem: PBT

PBT stands for:

• Pause
• Breathe
• Think

I didn’t invent this. In fact, it’s something I learned when I was doing programs in schools, teaching elementary school kids how to control their anger. However, I have found that it translates to businesses and adults quite well.

When Ding Happens, your best bet is to:

• Pause before taking any action or saying anything
• Breathe a few times to control your anger and calm your emotions
• Think about what your big picture goals are, what your options are to achieve that goal, and what the consequences of those actions will be

Then, and only then, you pick an action and take it. By simply using the PBT approach, you can avoid many of the problems that come from acting out of emotion.

The three steps may seem like a lot to do before reacting to a situation, but the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. Over time, you’ll find yourself going automatically through the steps very quickly and making smarter choices.

The next time Ding Happens to you, remember to Pause, Breathe, and Think before reacting and you’ll end up reducing the stress and drama in your life.

If nothing else, I guarantee you will rarely end up saying to yourself, “yes, the best option for me now is to pistol whip my mother.”

***
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By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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