The Idiot Bank Robber’s Guide to Achieving Your Goals

Here’s one from the “what we can learn from stupid criminals” file…

A guy walks into a bank in China (I know, it sounds like a strange joke setup, but it’s not).

He pulls out something like a hammer or club, and begins banging away at the glass that separates customers from tellers.

Apparently, this is some kind of safety/bullet proof glass because he hammers away at it for about three minutes straight. He whacks the glass about 198 times. (Persistent? Yes. Intelligent? No.)

Finally, he creates a hole big enough for him to climb through. Sort of. It’s a tiny hole he has to squeeze through, and it takes him about thirty seconds just to do it. Keep in mind the alarm has been going off since he first started trying to break the glass.

I am proud to say that I have never robbed a bank, but if Point Break taught us anything, it’s that when you are robbing a bank, speed counts for everything.

When time is critical, you never go for the vault...

Our budding John Dillinger takes about a minute to find some cash (humorously, the first four drawers he checks have nothing worth stealing. Brilliant.) He then tries to climb back through the hole, but he only gets as far as putting one leg through before the police show up.  The best part about this is that he stands there for about thirty seconds while the police have their guns pointed at him, and then slowly turns to leave. The police grab his leg to prevent his escape.

Somehow the dude manages to escape the policeman’s grasp, and then walks out a back door.

Did you get that?

He walked out a back door.

WHY DIDN’T HE WALK OUT THE BACK DOOR IN THE FIRST PLACE???

*sigh*

The video ends there, but I am sure he was caught. Probably when he went to the police station to report an aggravated assault by a police officer during a bank robbery.

If there was ever a prime candidate for a defendant to plead “Not Guilty By Reason of Stupidity,” this is it.

You can watch the video for yourself. It would make an excellent training video on what not to do:

We should be thankful that criminals are this stupid; it makes them much easier to catch…

As is usually the case when observing someone else’s stupidity, I think there are lessons we, as normal, intelligent, non-criminal professionals can walk away with. Here are three that you can apply the next time you set out to achieve a goal:

Preparation Counts

If you have a plan to rob a bank by breaking the glass with a hammer, perhaps you should do a little research and find out how feasible that plan is…

I know China is not the most Google friendly place in the world, but it can’t be that hard to figure out what the glass in banks is made of.

A little research and prep would have saved this guy a lot of effort (and most likely, a long jail sentence)

Lesson #1 for you, the non-criminal: Don’t rob banks.

Lesson #2 for you, the non-criminal: Before you tackle a new project, goal, dream, or  business venture, do a little research. Get your ducks in a row, and get an idea as to whether you have a chance at success.

Improvising is Essential

I may be a little biased here, since improvising is my thing. I wrote a book on it, speak on it, and have a website filled with videos on how you can apply improv games to business and life.

I have a passion for it because it’s important. Not everything is going to go as planned, and sometimes you need to switch gears. Don’t you think that after your 30^th whack at the glass with little progress, you might think, “hey, maybe I should switch tactics?”

Lesson #1 for you, the non-criminal: Don’t rob banks.

Lesson #2 for you, the non-criminal: Accept that the best laid plans may go wrong. Have a clear goal, but be sure to notice when your path to that goal hits a roadblock, and then use your creativity to come up with a different and better path to it. (Click here to get a free MP3 on how to think quick…)

Knowing When to Let Go is Critical

Sometimes you gotta know when to fold ‘em…

Maybe to this guy, in that moment, robbing the bank seemed like a really good idea. I’m assuming that beforehand, he envisioned himself shattering the glass after two or three hits, climbing over and emptying the tellers’ drawers, and then getting out of there in under two minutes.

Once the initial part of his plan failed (shattering the glass quickly), he should have reevaluated. Reevaluated and gotten the heck out of there.

Instead, he kept going, not changing tactics and not moving on. As a result, he (probably) got caught and arrested.

Lesson #1 for you, the non-criminal: Don’t rob banks.

Lesson #2 for you, the non-criminal: Be willing to look at a goal and say, “it’s time to let this go.” You can waste a lot of time, money, and energy, pursuing a goal that no longer makes any sense.

I am not suggesting you give up at the first sign of trouble (unless that trouble happens t be shatter proof glass during a bank robbery), but periodically take a look at what you are striving for and ask yourself, “Is this what I really want?”

The next time you think about robbing a bank, remember our idiot bank robber friend.

And the next time you start down a path towards pursuing a goal, think of him again. Then do your prep work and be willing to improvise or even let go if you have to. It will make your life a whole lot easier, and it will drastically improve your chances of success…

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Motivational Humorist page now!
 

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By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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