5 Ways to Avoid Impatient Stupidity

Are you impatient? I am (or at least I can be). Impatience in and of itself is not a bad thing. It all comes down to how you deal with it…

There is a weird phenomenon that occurs on city streets while people are waiting for the bus. They will not only stand on the corner and gaze in the direction from which the bus is coming, but they will also on occasion step into the street to get a better look!

This may not sound like a big deal until you realize that streets happen to be things that cars drive on…when a pedestrian pops into the street to look for a bus, well, you suddenly have to be very careful to not run them over.

This happens to me all the time. There I am, minding my own business, driving down a narrow one lane city street with cars parked on both sides, when up ahead of me some dude steps out into the street and starts looking in my direction to see if he can see the bus.

Logic would dictate that once he a) didn’t see the bus or b) saw my car approaching him that he would then step back up on to the sidewalk, right? Right???

Wrong (my first mistake was assuming logic ever dictates anything when it comes to how people behave…).

For some reason this dude will not budge. He’ll keep looking down the street like Linus looking for the Great Pumpkin. He’s oblivious to my car and the impending doom it represents. I have to slow down to “old man walking with a cane” speed to make sure I can navigate around him. When I drive past him he doesn’t even notice that he is in the way of traffic. I am torn between the temptation to teach him a lesson by hitting him and the desire to not commit vehicular manslaughter. I opt for the latter…

What is this person thinking?? You are stepping out into on coming traffic just to see if the bus is coming! Guess what Einstein? Whether you look or not, it doesn’t make any difference! You stopping up traffic helps nothing…

You may not quite understand this if you don’t drive in cities, but trust me, it happens all the time.

I feel qualified to rant on this because I have not only been the person driving through the city, but I have also been the person waiting for the bus. I know how frustrating it can be when you are late for something and the bus just doesn’t seem to come. I once waited half an hour for a bus that is supposed to come every ten minutes. It sucks. But, having a modicum of intelligence, I understand the difference between things I can do that matter and things I an do that don’t. Stepping out into the middle of the street to see if this bus is coming is clearly one of those things that doesn’t matter.

At the heart of this problem is impatience and a lack of good strategies to deal with things we can’t control. Maybe stepping into the road isn’t a huge deal (though I think it is). But the same impatience can lead to other, more destructive behaviors. Avoiding impatient stupidity is a critical skill that far to many people seem to lack.

Here are five lessons you can takeaway from these bus anticipators, even if you never take public transportation anywhere.

Accept What Is

This may fly in the face of “The Secret,” but guess what? You can not make the bus show up faster by looking for it!

Whether you stare down the street, pace around like a mad person, mumble and rant to the other poor sap who is minding his own business while waiting for the bus (yes, this has happened to me), or just stand there reading a magazine,, the bus is going to come when it comes.

If you rant, rave, and start doing useless things in an attempt to exert some control over the situation (like stepping into the street to get a better look for the bus), you are not accepting what is.

The same rule applies in every other area of your life. What is, is. You can not change it. You can, however, accept it, and then focus your attention on taking the actions to change your future. Just make sure those actions will actually accomplish something and won’t just be the metaphorical equivalent of stepping out into the street, looking for the bus.

First, Do No Harm

If you want to stand on the corner and stare down the street like a madman in hopes of catching a glimpse of the bus, that is your prerogative. As long as you do it quietly, you are not bothering anyone. However, if you step into the street, you are now letting your lack of patience and self-control affect the world around you. That’s just dumb (and inconsiderate).

Sadly, this point will be lost on most. If you are the type of person who will stand in the middle of traffic looking for a bus, you are probably not a person who cares all that much about inconveniencing others. Still, it’s worth a shot.

Beyond the realm of public transportation, where else are you letting your coping strategies (or lack thereof) negatively affect the world around you? Is your ranting creating a negative energy in your office? Does your impatience ruin family outings? Do you know? Do you even care?

Use the Time to Practice

In my speeches and workshops, I talk a lot about the concept of letting go of things you can’t control. This is one of the best way to flow with the Dings of Life.

This is hard to do when major stuff happens – losing a job, blowing a huge presentation, facing a terrible family illness, etc. One of the best ways to be prepared to do this when the big stuff happens is to practice with the little stuff!

A late bus is a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things. This is a perfect small “Ding” to practice letting go, not stressing, and focusing on the things you can control. Them, when the big stuff comes along you will at least have some experience with letting things go.

Prepare

Of course, preparation is extremely helpful in these situations. I rarely leave the house without either a book, a notebook, or my Microsoft Zune(quite often I have all three). Why? Because I have a low tolerance for boredom.

If I have to wait for a bus, I don’t want to stand their doing nothing. This might make me fidgety and antsy to a point where I get stupid and start stepping out into the middle of the street to see if the bus is coming. By having some good stuff to listen to on my Zune, I can while away hours while others fume.

I am astonished by how many people enter situations where they know there is a high possibility that they will have to wait but they still don’t prepare and bring anything along. Waiting rooms, airports, the DMV, etc.

If you are the type of person who can meditate on your own thoughts, good for you. But if you are prone to agitation, then I highly suggest you anticipate those situations and travel with some work or entertainment.

Focus on What Matters

This is the most important lesson I would like to teach the impatient “bus waiters.” Take a second and think about whether your actions will accomplish anything at all. Clearly, walking out into the road just to see if the bus is coming accomplishes nothing. So why do it? Especially if it bothers others…?

Is there useful action that could be taken there? Perhaps. You could call and let people know you will be a few minutes late. You could take a cab. You could call a friend for a ride. Heck, you could start walking down the bus route (i.e. where it will take you after it picks you up) – that still accomplishes almost nothing, but at least you will be burning off your energy without hindering anyone else. Plus, if the bus never comes, you will eventually get to your destination!

What if there is nothing useful you can do? For example, if you are in an airport and your flight is delayed 45 minutes, you can’t do much but wait the additional 45 minutes. In that case focus on how you can use your time in either a fun or productive way. Read a good book. Do some work. Make a phone call and catch up with an old friend. Do anything that makes some good use of the time, but for the love of God, please don’t start mumbling and complaining to the people next to you – no on cares about your important flight and we’re all in the same boat together!

Impatience is a major problem in the world today. We have been trained as a society to want things now! Right away! no delay! Speed of delivery is a good thing, but when you get impatient, think about how you are expressing that impatience to yourself and the world around you. If you are being negative, infringing on others, or doing something stupid, then it may be time to rethink your strategy.

And whatever you do, please, don’t step into the road to look for the bus!!

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