# MSA Contest: Win a Book! (“185 Teachers Walk Into a Bar…”)

** **

As you may or may not know, my background is in improv comedy. As a professional speaker, I show audiences how they can use improv comedy ideas to think quickly, communicate better, and react quickly to change. I wrote a book on it – Improvise to Success – and now you have a chance to **win a copy for free!**

That’s right, to try something different here at the Motivational Smart Ass, I have decided to run an **improv comedy themed contest!**

The contest is based on an improv game called **185**.

In the game, the performers take a suggestion and turn it into a “stock” joke. The format of the joke is:

“185 _______’s walk into a bar.

The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve ______’s here.

The _______’s say “[insert punchline].”

** Example:**

**Topic: Bananas**

185 bananas walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve bananas.”

The bananas say, “Oh why not, can’t you see we have so much

**appeal**!”

Get it? *Appeal*. As in, “peal.” Bananas have peals…

**Here’s another one:**

**Topic: Doctors**

185 doctors walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve doctors.”

The doctors say, “But all we wanted was a

**shot!**”

Get it? *Shots.* Because doctors administer shots. And a shot is also a type of drink.

Yes, these are groan inducing jokes usually filled with puns. That’s the point.

In this contest, all you have to do is come up with a punchline for a 185 joke. I’ll provide the topic.

**Your 185 contest topic: Teachers.**

(Yes, this is in honor of a friend of mine. You know who you are…)

**Here are the simple rules:**

- Post your best 185 in the comments below.
- Remember, it will be
**“185 Teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says ‘sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.’ The teacher’s say, ‘[punchline]’”** - Feel free to tweak the format of the 185 joke if it makes your line funnier.
- Puns, play on words, double entendres, etc. are all welcome – the more groan inducing, the better.
- Keep it PG though, please. I’ll delete out any offensive submissions.
- You can post as many submissions as you like
- You have until
**11:59 PM, Monday night.** - I will pick a winner based on a vague criteria that involves how funny it is, originality, and which one happens to tickly my fancy.
- In order to win, you can’t post anonymously – I need your email to let you know you won, and make sure it is you (no one else can see your email address)
- Whether you post a submission or not, feel free to comment on other people’s submissions and lobby for which one you think it the best (positive only please – I’ll delete out any negative comments on people’s ideas.)
- I’ll announce the
**winner on Tuesday**(subscribe to the blog via RSS or email to see who wins!). **Winner gets a copy of my book, Improvise to Success!**If you’re in the U.S. you have your choice of a physical book or PDF. International winners get the PDF.

That’s it! Do your best, don’t over think it, and most importantly, have fun!

### About

By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

#### 23 Responses to “MSA Contest: Win a Book! (“185 Teachers Walk Into a Bar…”)”

**Comments**

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185 teachers walk into a bar and the bartender says we don’t serve teachers here and the teachers say “hey, if you don’t serve us we’re going to teach you a lesson.”

185 teachers walk into a bar and the bartender says we dont serve teachers here and the teachers say, “not even an apple cider for the teacher?”

185 job seekers walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve job seekers.”

The job seekers say, “But all we wanted was a shot!”

Hey Bruce – thanks, I really like your 185! However, the topic is”185 teachers…”, not job seekers. (I hope you’re not implying that all teachers are job seekers 🙂 ) Would love to see another entry from you on the topic of “teachers'”

Thanks!

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bar tender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers.” The 185 teacher walk out. 10 minutes later 555 teachers walk into the bar. The one in front says, “We’re math teachers; we can multiply”

185 teachers walk into a bar and the bartender says we don’t serve

“teachers” here and the teachers say “No problem we do with Jack Daniel’s”

PS – Teacher’s and Daniel’s are both type of scotch drinks

185 teachers walk into a dive bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve teachers here.”

In a huff the teachers leave, but then turn around and say “We wouldn’t drink here anyway, we have class.”

185 teachers walk into a bar and start banging into things, walking into walls, accidentally knocking over tables. Finally, the bartender gets pissed and grabs one of the teachers and screams: “What the hell do you guys think you are doing?!?”

The teacher looks up, and freaks out the bartender, showing only white in his eyes.

“Sorry sir,” he says “we have no pupils.”

185 teachers walk into a bar, the bartender says, Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here, so the teacher says, “You’ve got no class!”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bar tender says, Sorry we don’t serve teachers here. The teacher says, “Guess I have to chalk that one up!”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bar tender says, Sorry we don’t serve teachers here. The teacher says, “Well, that’ll only lessen your clientele!”

185 accountants walk into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve accountants here.” The accountants say “Count us out.”

185 teachers walk into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “The accountants put it on the ledger.”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.”

The teachers say, “Why not? Don’t you have the faculty?”

185 teachers walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “I’d love to have you all as customers, but you are going to get me in trouble with the Fire Marshall. See the sign? ‘Occupancy by more than 150 persons is unsafe and illegal’.

One of the teachers in the front row replies,”We’re teachers; we can all read. Now serve us our drinks – those signs are just for the students.”

185 teachers walk into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “Bartender. Bartender. Bartender.” And the bartender finally says, “Here.”

185 math teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we don’t serve math teachers here

The teachers say “sorry, we just got off on a tangent.”

185 math teachers and a mermaid walk into a bar

The bartender says, we don’t serve teachers here and besides, we have a dress code.

The teachers say “but she’s wearing an algae-bra.”

185 teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we don’t serve teachers here

The teachers say “those that can – do. Those that can’t – drink.”

185 math teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we can only serve 3.14159 of you here

The teachers say “can you repeat that?”

The bartender says, “don’t be irrational – that can’t happen.”

185 Language Arts teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we don’t serve teachers here

The teachers say “We? Do you have a mouse in your pocket?.”

185 Biology teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we don’t serve teachers here

The teachers say “but we have culture.”

185 dyslexic teachers walk into a bra.

185 Geography teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we don’t serve teachers here

The teachers say “Andreas, it’s your fault.”

185 Physics teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we don’t serve teachers here

The teachers say “Please.”

The bartender says, “well OK, But I’m keeping my ion you.”

185 Kindergarten teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we don’t serve teachers here

The teachers say “we just have to go to the bathroom.”

185 teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we don’t serve teachers here and besides, that tone you heard says my shift is over and I’m outta here.

The teachers say “that bell doesn’t dismiss you. WE dismiss you.”

185 English teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here. And with one slap, the teacher said, “Well, that should rearrange your composition.”

an alternate:

185 gym teachers walk into a bar, the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teacher says, “One punch should give you some physical education.”

185 Catholic School teachers walk into a bar, the bartender says, Sorry, we don’t serve teachers her.” The teacher says, “You’re gonna hafta say some ‘Ale Marys!”

185 teachers walk into a bar, the bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve teachers here.” So the teacher says, “What if I show you my pink slip.”

185 acting teachers go into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” So the teacher says, “But we’re a Class Act.

185 unionized teachers walk into a bar. the bartender says, “Sorry, we son’t serve teachers here. So the teachers say, “We bring a Class Action.”

185 English teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here. Teacher pushed another forward and says, I just want ta Catcher on the Rye.”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here. The teacher says, “Yea, a Mind is a terrible thing to be wasted.”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here. the teacher says, What!” The bartender says, “Don’t be a fool. Stay in School”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.”The teachers say, “Are we being expelled?”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teacher says, I don’t want teachers, I want Jack Daniels.”

185 fired teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here, and the teacher says, “That burns me up.’

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve teachers here. So the teacher says,”But I’m going to be Vice principal.”

185 teachers walk into a bar. the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers says, “What if I decline ‘to leave’?”

185 tense teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve teachers here.” So the teacher says, “But we have De-tension.”(Detention)

“But we need De-tension.”

185 teachers walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” So the teacher says, “Well, how long will this period last?”

185 kindergarten teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve teachers her. So the teacher says, “Cut it out!”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers hear.” The teacher says, “Well, that puts us in a bind-er.”

185 gym teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve gym teachers here.” The gym teacher says, “I don’t like this outfit”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve teachers here.” So the teachers say, Would you please define ‘serve’?”

185 teachers walk into a bar. the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.”But as teachers, we just want you to “Beer all you can Be.”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “We’re going to report that.”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “It’s not like this is Intellectual Property.”

185 teachers walk into a bar. the bartender says, Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “True or False?”

185 math teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here. The math teachers say, “But we just wanted to see the ice cubes (the ice cubed).”

185 housebuilding voc. ed. teachers walk into a bar. the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “But we thought drinks were on the house.”

185 music teachers walk into a bar. the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “But we’re not minors.”

185 student-teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here. The teachers say, “But we’re superintending…”

185 math teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, That doesn’t make any per-Sense (Percents).”

185 teachers go into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “We won’t drink the liquor; we just want to test (taste?)it.” [Super groan!]

185 sewing teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “Are you thread-ening us?”

185 botany teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “Then I guess, we’ll Leaf.”

185 osteology teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we’re not serving liquor to teachers today.” The teachers say, “How ’bout to marrow?”

185 Jedi teachers walk into a bar and order “not sweet” wine. The bartender says, “You mean dry wine?” The teachers say, “Sweet or sweet not. There is no dry.”

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here,” and the teachers say, “F you!”

185 scientists walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve scientists here”. The scientists say, “I guess we have to re-search for another bar”.

This is my first pun ever, so bear with me …

185 ducks walk into a bar. The bartender says “Sorry but we don’t serve ducks here”. As they insist, he quacks under the pressure and complies.

I realize how bad this is but its only my second one lol

185 steel workers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve steel workers here”. The steel workers say, “I guess we will have to iron out the next place to stop.