Monday Motivation: Always Care About What People Feel, Never About What They Think

This past weekend, I heard my friend talking about his grandmother (after whom he had named his new daughter). He described her as an amazing woman of great character and strength. One of the lines he used to describe her stood out to me: “She always cared about how people felt, but never about what they thought.”

Awesome.

As you set out on your path to figure out what you want and then go get it (you are setting out on that path, right?), this is a pretty good mantra to adopt.

Care about how people feel, but never about what they think.

Let’s take a look at what exactly that means:

Care About How People Feel…

Caring about how people feel isn’t all that hard, but so many people, intentionally or not, seem to mess this up.

There are a lot of reasons to not hurt others’ feelings: To influence people, build relationships, create good karma, get some quid pro quo, or just to be a nice, mature, responsible person who can look at himself in the mirror everyday, to name a few.

The strategy is simple: before you say or do something, take 2 seconds to think about how others might feel about what you are about to do or say. If you think it will hurt their feelings, then reconsider your actions.

HOWEVER – This isn’t to say you never take that potentially hurtful action. It just means that you at least consider the impact of your actions before you do. Don’t make yourself responsible for other people’s happiness. Remember that some people will be offended or have their feelings hurt by anything and everything. They may also happen to be going through something completely unrelated to you that sets them off. If you can look back and honestly say you were honest, polite, and considerate, then let go of any guilt if they choose to get upset.

…But Never About What They Think

If I had to pick one thing that held people back from going after what they truly want, I would say it was self-doubt. If I had to pick a second, though, I would say it was being too concerned with what others thought about them.

Lots of people resist taking action because they think others (friends, coworkers, family members, or even complete strangers) will disapprove, mock, criticize, or just flat out not approve.

That’s crazy. A lot of people got a lot of issues and a lot of baggage. You can’t control what they think. You can’t even know what they think. Half the time you believe someone is thinking one way about you and you turn out to be 100% wrong.

The sooner you learn to not care what others think and start making decisions based on what’s best for you, the sooner your life gets a whole lot easier.

HOWEVER – Don’t completely ignore other people’s opinions and advice. Don’t buy into it 100%, but don’t ignore it 100% either. If people are telling you your idea is stupid and crazy, consider what they are saying. If, after an honest assessment, you are convinced that you are still doing the right thing, then proceed without caring if they think you are stupid, crazy, or an idiot for not following their advice.

Like a great deal of advice, this one is easy to conceptualize but hard to implement. But just because it’s hard, and just because you might fail at first (i.e. you find yourself running roughshod over others or you obsess over what they think) don’t give up! With a little practice, you’ll get it. And when you do, I promise you, you’ll be happier, less stressed, and more successful than you ever were before.

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Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Motivational Humorist page now!

About

By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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