The World Wants You to Be Stupid: My Ridiculous Nuts

My nuts are ridiculous.

*Ahem* I’m talking about almonds (what did you think I was talking about…?)

I’ve recently been eating a lot of almonds. They fill me up, are a great low carb snack, and taste great. I particularly enjoy the various Blue Diamond “Bold” flavored almonds (Wasabi & Soy Sauce are my favorite).

I was sitting here one day snacking, when I decided to pick up and read the back of the can. Here’s what it said in ALL CAPS right at the top:

“SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE SUGGESTS, BUT DOES NOT PROVE, THAT EATING 1.5 OUNCES PER DAY OF MOST NUTS, SUCH AS ALMONDS, AS PART OF A DIET LOW IN SATURATED FAT AND CHOLESTEROL, MAY REDUCE THE RISK OF HEART DISEASE.”

Wow.

Let’s count the disclaimers and modifiers, shall we?

• “…evidence suggests…”
• “…but does not prove…”
• “…most nuts…”
• “…such as almonds…”
• “…as part of a diet…”
• “…may reduce…”

My goodness! That’s a lot of hedging. They may as well have said, “Um, yeah…if you eat pretty healthy already, these almonds probably won’t kill you.”

The text on the can doesn’t make me not want to eat their almonds; I just find it amusing. However, this is a small instance of what could, in certain situations, be a much bigger problem.

Lesson to you, the professional: If you’re trying to market a product or service, you may want to find a positioning statement that doesn’t require you to use lots of words to get around the fact that you’re not really promising anything. Make a bold promise, then keep it, then go beyond it.

Lesson to you, the consumer: Sadly, I can only assume that this text is on the can because it works. Don’t get sucked in. Be an informed consumer, do some research, and develop the ability to parse evasive language. Most companies’ first responsibility is to their bottom line. You are the one who is ultimately responsible for yourself.

I’m still going to eat the almonds because they are delicious. But I’m not going to believe I am preventing heart disease by doing so just because the can tells me that the almonds kinda, sorta, maybe, might be doing something…

Hopefully you’ll do the same, whether you are buying almonds, cars, consulting services, or any product or service. Make a smart decision, and don’t let the world get away with wanting you to be stupid.

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By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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