Misspell a Word, Get Stabbed in the Heart

No, the title of this post doesn’t refer to some new reality TV show on Fox, but rather to a ridiculously tragic story I recently came across.

The story involves a murder that was the result of a “predictive text error” on a phone.

If you don’t know, predictive text is a feature, mostly on mobile phones, where your device will figure out what word you are trying to spell as you go and fill it in for you if it can. It works pretty well, but there are many occasions where the software will guess incorrectly, which can lead to some humorous results.

Here’s an example for you:

My mum had spent weeks arranging a large family party, being fussy, and knowing that I am often late, she sent me a text asking me if I was ready and had I set off yet.

I sent her one back…..

“I have got aids”

I had to explain to my frantic mother that I had typed the word “a g e s”

(Note: this was taken from the article, Predictive Text: A Surefire Way to Make Yourself Look Like a Jackass)

For rational human beings, this is a pretty harmless problem that leads to brief moments of concern followed by a hearty laugh at the foibles of technology.

For rational human beings. For non-rational psychopaths in the UK, it can lead to something very different…

The story I referred to earlier is about two friends who got into an argument via text that escalated when the predictive text feature changed the words of one of their messages.

You can read the story here:

Text Row Man Faces Jail For Killing Friend

In a nutshell, the one friend (Neil Brook) tried to use the word “nutter,” but his phone corrected it to “mutter.” The other friend (Josef Witkowski) took offense at the use of the word “mutter,” and a text argument ensued.

I have to admit, I got a little lost at this point. To me, the word “nutter” seems more offensive than the word “mutter.” Maybe Mr. Witkowski had some kind of a speech impediment he was overly sensitive about. Who knows? The article didn’t give much context…

According to Urban Dictionary, nutter means a crazy person, while mutter can have a few meanings:

1. The act of mumbling (that doesn’t seem all that offensive)
2. An album released by Rammstein in 2001. I suppose in terms of offensiveness, this comes the closest, right? I mean, if somebody called me a Rammstein album, I might be pretty pissed…
3. “Chav-emo,” which Urban Dictionary unhelpfully describes as “Not quite emo and not quite a chav. Possibly a wannabe chav or vice versa.” Chances are, this is the definition that led to the argument. Evidently it’s much better to be called crazy than chav-emo…

Witkowski took such offense at being called a mutter that he decided to pay Brook a visit at his apartment (they were neighbors).

“How did Brook prepare for his angry visitor?” you might ask. Like anyone would: he taped two large kitchen knives up onto the wall of his apartment! Just to have them there for easy access.

You might think this was a bit of an overreaction. You might be right, until you find out that when the Witkowski arrived, he already had a knife of his own and immediately attacked Brook!

Holy cow! A text message error was enough to get one guy to tape up knives around his apartment like Schwarzenegger preparing to battle the Predator and for the other one to bring his own knife over…

End result? Witkowski died after being stabbed in the heart. Brook ended up with 104(!) injuries and was found guilty of manslaughter (but not murder). I can only assume that property values have plunged at “The Stabby Estates Upon Kent.”

Yes, one man dead, the other injured and going to jail, all because the word “nutter” was replaced with “mutter.”

There are a few important, if obvious, lessons we can take away from this story:

1. If you ever find yourself in a situation where, after an angry text exchange, you say to yourself, “hmm, maybe I should tape some knives to the wall, just in case,” you need to reevaluate your life.
2. If you ever find yourself in a situation where, after an angry text message exchange, you find yourself reaching simultaneously for your car keys and kitchen knife, you should probably consider some anger management classes
3. If you have a friend who you suspect may be coming over to your house to stab you because of a text message exchange, you should consider getting new friends. (If these two were friends, I find myself morbidly curious to know what their enemies must be like…)
4. If you have someone coming over to your house to potentially stab you, rather than taping knives up around your home, perhaps you should
1. Call the police, or…
2. Not open the door when they get there.

Oh, and here’s the real lesson:

Get Some Damned Perspective!

I’m going to go waaaaay out on a limb here and say there is never a situation where a text message should lead to a stabbing. Not a one. (Ok, I suppose if someone texts you, “hey, I’m a vampire and I’m coming over to kill you and the only way to stop me is to stab me in the heart,” then sure, I suppose that’s a text message that should lead to a stabbing. Other than that, there is no reason to stab someone over a text message.)

I am assuming you are smart enough to not go all stabby on someone because of a text message. (Right? Right??) But you have probably at some point received a message that made you angry or stressed. How did you react in that situation?

• Did you fire off an angry reply?
• Did you simply pause, breathe, and let it go?
• Did you use the antiquated “talk” feature of your phone to call the person and say, calmly and rationally, “hey, what’s going on?”

Between the brevity of the format and the total lack of emotional conveyance, text messaging is one of the easiest communication forms to misinterpret. Throw in the occasional misspelled word (due to type or predictive text) and you’ve got an easy way to blow things way out of proportion.

I don’t know all the details in this stabbing story, but it seems like a simple, “whoops! I meant to say, “nutter” J ” text message would have saved a lot of pain and death. Though I guess two guys who’s idea of conflict resolution involves dancing it out, West Side Story style, probably aren’t the type who use emoticons in their texts.

The next time you feel your emotions rising from a text exchange, remember our two idiot knife enthusiasts. You may save yourself a lot of headache by simply stepping back, calming down, and getting a little perspective.

***
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By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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