The “Goldilocks Test” for Effective Goal Setting

What can you learn about goal setting from a juvenile delinquent who commits breaking and entering, vandalism, and theft? Quite a bit, actually.

The felon in question is of course, Goldilocks, of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” fame.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, here’s a recap:

Once upon a time, three bears, Father, Mother, and Baby, lived in a house in the woods. One day they cooked up some porridge and decided to take a walk while it cooled down. While they were on their walk, a girl, Goldilocks, comes across the house. Seeing that the house is empty, she lets herself in.

At this point, I have two questions:

1. Who, when they come across an empty house, just decides that it’s ok to let yourself in? Who raised this child, Hudson Hawk?
2. Do bears not lock their doors? Has years of cave dwelling made them incapable of properly using doors? Or was Goldilocks an expert lock picker? I suppose, since the house was in the middle of the woods and this was something like 1837, locking seemed to be unnecessary. These days though, if you come home to find a little girl has invaded your home because you didn’t lock up, well, don’t come crying to me…

Adorable? Absolutely. But still a felon

Once inside, Goldilocks sees the porridge and thinks, “hey, why not? Let me eat some of this porridge that I have no right to.” This must have been in the days before peanut and gluten allergies. Otherwise, there is no way she eats something without knowing every last ingredient in it. Though I think it would be an interesting twist and a nice comeuppance if she took a big bite of porridge and suddenly went into anaphylactic shock. Maybe I’ll write that story: “Goldilocks and the Three EpiPens.”

She digs in, but the first porridge is too hot. The second porridge is too cold. But the third one (the baby’s) is just right, so she eats it all (Stealing candy from a baby, if you will…).

She then decides to sit for a spell, and finds three chairs. The first is too big. The second is too big too. The third is just right. She cops a squat in the chair, and of course, since she is a gluttonous child who can not refrain from eating other people’s porridge, the chair breaks under her weight (Let’s add “vandalism” to her list of charges).

At this point, after having trespassed, stolen food, and damaged property, you would think the girl would leave. But oh no, she’s not done yet!

Instead, she goes upstairs and finds three beds. I am not a professional house burglar, but I would wager that nowhere in the “Little Girl’s Guide to Home Invasion”  does it say, “if, while you are breaking into a house, you come across a bed and are feeling a bit drowsy, consider taking a short nap.” But that is in fact what she does.

She tries the first bed, and it is too hard. The second bed is too soft. But the third? The third is just right…

This just doesn't seem like a smart thing to do at this moment...

After she falls asleep, the three bears come home to discover their house has been broken into.

They first see the porridge:

“Someone’s been eating my porridge,” said Father Bear (Side Note: Isn’t it interesting that the bears immediately jump to “someone.” And not “something” or “some animal.” Having seen Bambi, they know that humans are the enemies of animals everywhere).

“Someone’s been eating my porridge,” said Mother Bear.

“Someone’s been eating my porridge, and they ate it all up!” said Baby Bear.

Next, they see the chairs:

“Someone‘s been sitting in my chair,” said Father Bear.

“Someone‘s been sitting in my chair,” said Mother Bear.

“Someone‘s been sitting in my chair, and they broke it to pieces!” said Baby Bear.

Ok, let’s add “Traumatizing bear cub” to the list of Goldilocks’ misdeeds. Could you imagine if, when you were a young child, you found out that not only had someone broken into your home, eaten your food, and broken your chair, but that they had essentially left the rest of your family’s things untouched? How could you NOT think that you were being targeted? For all you know, some crazy, Ursinophiliac Hannibal Lector might be stalking you. I don’t know if baby bear would ever sleep soundly again…

Poor, sad bear

The bears then move to the bedroom, and the pattern repeats itself.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed,” said Father Bear.

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed,” said Mother Bear.

(Ok, here’s strike one for the bears. I’m not a parent, but I would think that if I discovered that some freak had been targeting my child, my primary concern would be for my child. I wouldn’t walk into the bedroom and look at my bed first. I would go straight to my kid’s bed. With a baseball bat. And a vial of acid. I’m just saying…)

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, and she’s still in it!” said Baby Bear.

This would be trauma inducing incident part #2. If, as a young child, you came home and found a stranger sleeping in your bed, would you ever – and I mean EVER – be able to walk into your bedroom alone for bed time again? I think not…

I suppose if your Goldilocks looked like this, it might not be so bad. But in any other case: Trauma!

This commotion wakes Goldilocks up, who, upon seeing three perturbed bears around her bed, jumps up and runs out of the house. The bears then…well, frankly, I don’t know what the bears do at this point. The story doesn’t really say. I can only assume that they filed a police report and went out and bought an ADT security system. Perhaps they organized a neighborhood watch with the Three Little Pigs and Little Red Riding Hood. At the very least, they should have sent Baby Bear to a child psychologist.

One has to wonder how exactly Goldilocks got away from not one, not two, but three bears. Looks like years of eating porridge and living in a nice house with comfy beds and chairs had made the bears soft and slow. Lucky for Goldilocks…

So that’s the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

What’s the Point?

I relate this story to you not to talk about the ridiculousness of children’s stories (as I have done in the past) or to talk about the stupidity of trespassing (if I have to explain that to you, I don’t think I want you reading my blog).

No I tell this to you because, if we ignore her crimes, we can use Goldilocks’ hunt for the perfect porridge, chair, and bed to help us plan our goals and activities.

When making plans and setting goals, we often look immediately at the tactics of achieving those goals and carrying out those plans. We would be better served to take some time to first examine the goal and make sure it is the right size.

Just like Goldilocks kept moving from item to item until she found one that was “just right,” so too should you try to set goals (activity or result) that are “just right.” Not too big, not too small.

If the goal is too big, it can be overwhelming. You may start out strong with initial momentum, but get easily discouraged when you look at just how large a task you have laid out for yourself.

If the goal is too small, you may find yourself unmotivated to take any action at all.

For example, let’s say that you currently earn $5,000 per month and you want to make more money. If you set a goal of earning $10,000 per month, your mind may shut down. Doubling your income seems like too large a task.

Going the other direction, let’s say you set the goal of a 1% increase; earning an additional $50 per month. That may seem very possible, but how motivated are you going to be to work longer and harder or change any existing behavior for something so small?

The key, in this case, is to find the “just right” number. Maybe it’s $500 more. Maybe $2,000. Maybe, for you, doubling your income isn’t daunting. Or, maybe for you increasing by 1% is a huge task.

There is no right or wrong answer. Every person and every situation is different.

Use Your Intuition

The best way to figure out if you have a “just right” goal is to think about it and then see how you feel. Imagine that you were going to start working on this goal right now (or first thing tomorrow morning) and ask yourself:

• Do I feel bored, excited, or scared?
• Do I feel achieving this goal is a no-brainer, a bit of a stretch, or kind of impossible?
• Do I feel apathetic, motivated, or overwhelmed?

If you feel bored, apathetic, and unchallenged, then the goal is too small. Scared, overwhelmed, and like you’re facing an insurmountable obstacle, and it is too big. Excited, motivated, and like you’ll have to stretch just a bit, and the goal is “just right.”

The nice thing is that it’s easy to turn too big or too small goals into “just right” ones:

• If the goal is too big, simply break it down into smaller sub-goals and focus on those.
• If the goal is too small, ask yourself, “Why do I want to achieve this?” The answer will be part of a bigger goal, which may be your “just right” one.

As 2011 gets under way, take a look at the goals, resolutions, or, ideally, habits you have planned for yourself for this year. Apply the Goldilocks test to all of them, and before you run off and start taking action, make sure they are all “just right.”

And whatever you do, if you find a cabin in the woods that has pictures of a bear family on the mantle, don’t break in and start vandalizing the place – it won’t end happily ever after…

P.S. For a darker version of Goldilocks, check out this brief Simpsons’ clip, where Bart leaves the house first and bars the door with a chair…

***
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By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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