The Vagueness Trap: How Imprecise Words Can Destroy You

I have an irresistable offer for you: If you do a bit of work for me, I will pay you a good sum of money! Are you on board?

Most of you read that and said, “ummm, maybe. You’ll need to be a little clearer about what you mean by “bit of work” and “good sum of money” (To those of you who just said, “yes!” please contact me; I have a bridge I’d like to sell you).

Your reaction is natural. However, this was a fairly obvious case. There are many times in life when we end up being imprecise and vague, and it ends up biting us in the ass. This happened to me once, many, many years ago…

When I was a young lad, I decided to start making some money raking leaves. In retrospect, this seems like a stupid decision because I have always hated raking leaves. Just hated it. Me starting a leaf raking business is like Hannibal Lecter opening a Vegan restaurant. It just makes no sense (One of my favorite things about living in a condo is “no yard work.”)

But when you’re a young lad, you do strange things to make money. The concept of “fulfilling, joy-filled work” was foreign to me…

To promote my brilliant venture, I printed up some flyers (made by hand and copied on my dad’s office copier) and set out to distribute them to the mailboxes on my street. Yes, this was the early 80’s version of SPAM.

At one of the houses, an older woman was out in her yard. As I put my flyer in her mailbox she walked up to me and said, “what have you got there?”

Clearly I did not have great “sales cojones” because my first thought was, “uh oh, I’m in trouble!”

I tentatively hold out my flyer and say, “I’m raking leaves.” (Yup. That was my sales pitch. “I’m raking leaves.” I was a regular W.C. Fields)

The woman takes the flyer from me, looks it over, then says, “tell you what – you just got your first customer.”

Whoo-hoo – Awesome! Business is easy – I guess I am a great salesperson!! 🙂

“Thanks! When should I start?”

“Oh, just when it looks like there are a bunch of leaves on the ground.”

Uh-oh. I didn’t really know what that meant, but I was so excited to have “closed a sale” I didn’t want to push or ask more questions. I just wanted to get out of there before she changed her mind! But deep down I was thinking, “wait – when the heck is that going to be? How many leaves constitutes ‘a bunch?'”

I had no idea, but I figured I would just use my best guess and head over there at some point.

I let a couple of weeks go by, because to me “a bunch” had not fallen yet. Finally, I decided it was time. On a nice Fall Saturday afternoon, I grabbed my rake and headed over to this woman’s house.

When I got there, she was out in the yard with her family raking leaves!

What the heck?!?

I walk up and say, “Hi. I was coming to rake the leaves.”

She pauses, looks around, and says, “oh. That’s ok, we’ve got it.”

D’oh!

My first sale, my first canceled contract. This was my “Glengarry Glen Ross” moment. Evidently, “raking is for closers.” *sigh* Business is hard. 🙁

Let’s all take a moment and cry for the crushed spirit of entrepreneurialism in one little boy…

Ok, don’t cry too much. Clearly, the entrepreneurial spirit wasn’t completely beaten out of me.

What’s interesting about this story is that the woman wasn’t mad, or annoyed, and she didn’t say anything about me taking too long to come over. When, in her mind, the time for the leaves to be raked had come and I didn’t, she just moved on.

I had made the mistake of falling into the vagueness trap. We had different ideas of the starting day because we used imprecise language. As a result, we were on two different schedules.

That slight miscommunication led to me losing the job, and that was the end of my nascent leaf raking business. Probably for the best, as I am sure if it had continued I:

1. Would have been awful at it. Or…
2. Would have hated it and been miserable.

Still, even though it was for the best, I think there is an important lesson here:

Good communication is precise communication.

Be wary of vague language. Imprecise words may mean different things to different people:

1. “Soon” may mean 2 days to you but 2 weeks to your contractor.
2. “A good deal” may be 50% off to you but 5% off to the customer service rep.
3. “Not that long” may mean 15 minute to you but an hour to the receptionist.
4. “Some” may mean 5 to you but 20 to your spouse.
5. “Cheap” might mean $10 to you but $100 to the salesperson.

A large percentage of communication problems arise when people fail to be clear and precise in their language, and when they don’t make sure that all parties involved mean the same thing.

Pay attention to the vague words you and others use. Make sure that when you hear a vague term thrown out you follow up and get clarity.

When in doubt, ask and clarify!

Here are a few situations where you want to make sure you are clear with your language:

Managers

Set clear expectations for your team. Create specific deadlines, even if they seem a bit arbitrary to you. Instead of “ASAP” (which rarely is) say, “by the end of the day.” Instead of “soon,” say, “by Friday.” Instead of “whenever you can get to it” (which means “never”) say, “I’d like this done by the end of the month.”

A little clarity will go a long way to giving your people the direction they need.

Sales People

Don’t be so eager to close the sale (like I was with the raking business) that you don’t ask questions to clear up ambiguity. Make certain that the prospects knows what they are getting and that you are clear on what they are expecting.

Customers

As a customer, being precise becomes a critical tool to make sure that:

1. You get the service you expect.
2. You have something with which to hold you vendor accountable.

If you are buying a service and the person says, “I’ll finish the project soon,” you have much less recourse to complain if two weeks go by without the project being done. However, if he says, “I’ll get this done by Monday,” and Monday comes and goes, you’ve got some grounds to complain and potentially negotiate a discount or refund (especially if you have it in writing).

If the vendor doesn’t give you specifics, make sure you get them from him. It’s absolutely in your best interest.

In Relationships

If you and your partner (or family member, or friend) are not on the same page in your communication, then one or both of you is going to be upset when the other person doesn’t do what they so (or what you think they meant). Be precise and prevent these problems before they occur.

Service Providers, Part 1

If you are a service provider, give your client clear parameters as to what your timeline and fees will be. Communicate clearly with them if it appears that you are going have trouble hitting the deadline or staying in budget.

(This is one of those things that always astounds me. So many people feel they are better off not communicating with their clients when things are behind schedule, when in fact, many problems could be waylaid with some good, open communication)

Put your terms in writing so everyone is clear on what you will do, how you will do it, and when you will get it done.

Service Providers, Part 2

On the flip side, as a service provider you often find yourself waiting on the client for information, feedback, or approval. However, clients will often be very behind in their deliverables to you and then expect you to stick to your original deadlines (anyone who has ever provided a service is very familiar with the term, “hurry up and wait.”)

If you make your expectations of the client clear right up front, you can avoid some of these problems. At the very least, you can avoid getting yourself into trouble due to something that is out of your control.

For example, I have a buddy who writes music for video games. He agreed to do some work for a small company, and he said he could get them their music in two weeks, provided they got him the design specs by that Friday. The design specs did not come in that Friday, and in fact didn’t get in until the following Thursday. The client still wanted the project done by the original deadline (of course) but since my buddy had set the expectations up front, he was able to say, “I’m sorry, I will not be able to get this to you by then.”

Of course as a provider of great service you’ll do your best to accommodate situations like this, but it’s not always possible. If you’ve clearly outlines expectations up front, it will make it much easier for you to say, “I will do my best, but I don’t know if I can get it to you by the date anymore.”

The Next Step…

Avoid falling into the vagueness trap!

It won’t happen over night. Chances are that you are not even aware of the level of precision you use (because in your own head, you know exactly what you mean).

But with a little effort, you can eliminate many of the miscommunication problems brought on by vague, imprecise words.

Start by listening for the imprecision in your language and the language of those you are speaking to. When you catch a vague term, stop and ask for clarification. Do that for a while and you will start to automatically be more precise in your communication.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go look out my window and watch someone else rake leaves…

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