Why People Hating What You Do is a Good Thing

What would your reaction be if you found out that somebody, somewhere hated what you do, what would your reaction be? If it’s anything other than “awesome!” keep reading…

Recently, a friend started an email thread titled, “The most anti-Avish piece of music ever”

“What,” you may be asking, “is the most anti-Avish piece of music ever?” It is a combination of two things I hate:

1. Children Singing in Rock Songs – To be fair, I never really said I hated all children singing in rock songs, I actually said, “adding singing children never improves a song; at best, it can only hope to make it no worse. But usually it makes it worse.” Children singing in rock songs is supposed to add meaning and emotional resonance. In fact, all it adds is a high degree of suckitude.

   I know what you’re thinking: “But what about Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall Part 2? That had a group of children singing in it and it’s awesome!” Yeah, it’s an awesome song. But the children singing part sucks. It brings the song down at least two notches. Can you honestly tell me that you would rather listen to a group of kids sing than hear Roger Waters? No. Unless you are a pre-K teacher or a Wiggle, no you can not.

2. “Friday I’m in Love” by the Cure – This, along with Zombies by the Cranberries, is one of the worst songs of all time. It’s just…awful. It’s not that it’s bad. It’s that it’s so bad, it makes me want to drop on of those “Wrath of Kahn” mind control bugs into my ear so it can devour my ear drums and stop the pain. I’m sorry if you like it. I’m not apologizing, I am truly sorry for you if you like it. But hey, everyone’s got their tastes. I like Rush, you may like the sound of whining cats set to depressing music. To each their own.

(Side Rant: VH1 recently did their list of “Top 100 Artists of All Time.” Rush was on the list at 75 (way too low, IMHO). Number 74? The freakin’ Cure. My favorite band and potentially least favorite band sit next to each other on the countdown, with the evil Cure edging out the greatest rock band of all time. I don’t know how anyone can believe in a higher power when such tragedies are allowed to occur in the world.)

Since my friends know this about, one of my buddies took great delight in forwarding along this crime against humanity:

Yup, it’s an all girls choir singing “Friday I’m in Love.”

One wonders what kind of websurfing a person would be doing to come across that monstrosity…what terms could you possibly type into a Google or YouTube search box to have it spit that back out you? “music that makes my ears bleed”?

Because I am a masochist and like to subject myself to things I hate, I clicked on another link from these people titled, “Scala & Kolacny Brothers – I Touch Myself (Live)”

Yes, my friends, it’s a live all girls choir version of “I Touch Myself” by the Divinyls:

What’s interesting (other than two male directors thinking it’s a nice idea to have 80 some odd teenage girls singing “when I think about you I touch myself” in unison) is that the concert hall is packed!! There are hundreds of people who enjoy and ostensibly paid real money to watch this!

There’s definitely some lessons here. I don’t like this type of performance at all, and I am writing negatively about it. But I am the first person to say that they should not care one lick about my negative opinion!

That’s right, I am telling them to ignore me.

Why? Because they have found something that works for them, that some people like, and they are doing it successfully. Their best strategy is to ignore people who hate what they do (like me!)

This may be easy for them to do; they clearly have achieved some level of success so they can fall back on that to drown out the haters. That same level of confidence can be hard to come by when you are starting out, or when you are still “small time.”

However, it is when you are “small time” that you most need to ignore the haters. Because if you don’t, you will never get to be “big time.”

Here are three ways to ignore the haters and focus on the things that will make you truly successful:

Stop Looking At People Who Hate What You Do and Start Looking For People Who Love It

Success doesn’t come from pleasing everyone, and it certainly doesn’t come from converting haters into fans. Success comes from seeking out and serving the people who truly appreciate, support, and love what you do.

There will always be people who hate what you do (If there aren’t, chances are you’re not doing anything significant enough for people to notice). It’s easy to find people who hate what you do.

Instead of doing that, put 100% of your attention on finding people who love what you do. When you do this, one of two things will happen:

1. You will find enough “true fans” to support your business or endeavor
2. You will discover that there are not nearly enough people to support your endeavor, in which case you know you need to rethink things.

In either case, there is nothing to be gained by focusing on the haters (note: you can learn a thing or two from feedback and constructive criticism, just don’t obsess over people who say things like, “children’s choirs in rock songs suck!” If that’s your thing, ignore me and go find your fans…)

Ignore the naysayers. Chances are, a lot of them are just jealous of your success. Which brings me to my next point…

Stop Looking At Others And Saying “Why Are They Successful And I’m Not?”

When you are struggling to reach the level of success you want, it is easy to look at others who are more successful than you and scream, “why are they successful and I’m not?!?! They suck!!” They may very well suck, but that has nothing to do with you.

They may be successful for a variety of reasons:

• They may have better contacts than you
• They may be better marketers than you
• They may have had more capital than you
• You may be deluding yourself about how good you are and how bad they are
• They may simply have spent their time finding and serving the 1% of people who love what they do ignoring the 99% who hate it.

You can’t control anything anyone else does. Other than your objective ability to analyze and learn from their success, it doesn’t matter why someone else is more successful than you. When you find yourself thinking that, take another look at that last bullet point. Are you spending your time finding and serving the 1% that loves what you do, or are you banging your head against the wall trying to please that other 99%?

Flip you priorities, and your life might get a whole lot easier…

Stop Pleasing, Start Polarizing

I am not saying that you should polarize for polarizing’s sake; I am not into intentionally pissing people off to get attention. In fact, doing things to make people mad is still focusing on the 99% percent.

However, you have to realize that the when you start doing things to make your core fans love you more, your detractors will hate you more too. If you “drift to the center” to appease the haters, you’ll just alienate your original fan base.

For example, when I first switched my business over to the Motivational Smart Ass brand, I heard from quite a few naysayers. Some of the first people I asked for feedback told me it was a bad idea because companies would be turned off by it. One woman literally said to me, “the first thing I thought when your site was ‘what is he thinking?!'” People still come up and tell me I need a different URL or business name. And that’s fine, because I am not trying to serve them. They are not in my 1% of people who love me.

At first, I was a bit insecure and had some self doubts, and felt like changing things to appease the critics. Fortunately I stuck to my plan. Then I started to find the people that liked the brand. Companies that said, “that fits in with our corporate image.” Associations that said, “that’s what we’re looking for.” People who simply said, “awesome!”

All I needed to do was find the 1% of companies, associations, and individuals who dig what the Motivational Smart Ass is all about, and I would have more business than I could possibly handle.

Stop trying to please everyone. Serve your ideal client and fan better and better, even if (or especially if) it makes your detractors hate you more.

Remember: Haters gonna hate, yo’. Haters gonna hate…

The instant you stop worrying about the haters and start seeking out and serving those who love what you do, I promise you will see a shift in your results.

Now stop reading and go do something that will make your 1% absolutely love you!!

P.S. Ok, first use the links below to forward and share this this post, then go do something to make your 1% love you!

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Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Motivational Humorist page now!
 

About

By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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