Decisiveness Check: How Well Do You Deal With the “Elevator Dilemma”?

The more I pay attention to the world, the more I become convinced that indecisiveness is a major freakin’ problem…

I was recently waiting for an elevator at a busy hotel. I was lucky, because when I got there, there was only one person ahead of me. Almost immediately after I arrived, about 10 people got in line behind me.

There is something weird about “waiting for elevator time.” It may be the slowest time in the multi-verse. Maybe it has something to do with the density and gravity of the elevator that warps the space time continuum? I don’t know; we’d better get Stephen Hawking on this one. Suffice it to say, no one enjoys waiting around for an elevator.

When the first car arrived, it was almost full. Almost. You’ve probably faced this “elevator dilemma” before. “Do I get on, or do I wait?” Uncertainty creeps in, and a bunch of factors run through your head:

1. Space – Is there enough room? Even with all my luggage? And will all the people on the elevator shift to accommodate, or will there be that one person in the back who stands a foot away from the wall and doesn’t back up when another person gets on?
2. Weight – The biggest concern is not space, it’s weight. The last thing you want to do is be the person who caused a fiery elevator crash because you tipped the scale over “Otis’s maximum weight limit.”
3. Touch – Have you ever looked at the elevator occupants and realized that if you got on you would probably be touching someone you’d rather not touch? If not, maybe you should. I’ll wait for the next car, thank you very much.
4. Smell – There is a small percentage of a chance you’re worried that somebody else will smell. There is a much higher chance that you are concerned that you smell. Here’s a tip: If you smell bad to yourself, then wait for a less crowded one. And use deodorant.
5. Ire – Have you ever been on a packed elevator that stopped on a floor, and everyone on the elevator said, “we are way too full,” and then the jackass waiting muscles his way on anyway? Yeah, we all hate that guy. Don’t be that guy.

Frankly, you should be able to weigh these factors and make a decision in about 2 seconds. Sometimes, for some people, the decision making process can take longer. Much, much longer…

Such was the case in this instance. Remember how I said there was only one guy in front of us? It turns out one was plenty.

The guy takes half a step towards the elevator. The people on the elevator shift back to give him room. Then the guy rethinks it and stops. At this point I’m thinking “hey, there is plenty of room on there for me (I was smaller than him), if he’s not going to take it I will.”

I start to move up and am about to say, “are you getting on?” at which point he once again takes a step toward the elevator. I think he also mumbled something like, “are you full?” which is an odd sort of question to ask, because, let’s face it, he was as qualified as anyone on the elevator to make that assessment.

The people in the car give him that “half wave of acknowledgement” inviting him on (this was admirable, because let’s face it, when you are on a crowded elevator the last thing you want is another person to climb on board), but for some reason he stops again! Now he is pretty much right in front of the doors.

I am standing behind him wondering what the heck he is doing. This can’t be that complicated a situation. All I can think is, “there is a long line, and there is room for a person on that elevator. Get on if you want, but if not get out of the way so someone else can! Either way, make a decision!”

Of course, he doesn’t decide. He just stood in front of the doors, indecisive, until they closed on him. And on the rest of us.

In the grand scheme of things, this was not a major crisis. All that happened is that I was delayed for a few minutes. But it really highlighted what is, to me, one of the major ways people make their lives more difficult and stressful: by being indecisive!

I don’t know why, but I see more and more indecisiveness in the world everyday. Maybe I am more attuned to it now. Maybe, with the overwhelm of options in the world today, it’s The Paradox of Choice. Maybe I am just getting crotchety as I get older. I don’t know; whatever it is, it’s annoying.

The elevator indecisiveness was not a major deal, but indecisiveness in general can be a big problem:

Indecisiveness Adds Stress

Stress mostly comes from the thoughts we have about something. The longer you hold off making a decision, the more time you have to stress about it. And the longer you wait, the more the stress will grow. Once you actually make a decision, the stress usually goes away (or at least reduces).

Nothing Happens Until a Decision is Made

Before you do anything, you make a decision to do it. You have probably been involved in a work project where you spent days just “waiting for someone to make a decision.” If you are a business owner, then you’ve played the “hurry up and wait” game, where you scramble to get a proposal in by a deadline only to have the client take weeks to get back to you while they “decide.” Nothing happens until a decision is made. You operate the same way. You can take as long as you want, just realize that no progress will be made until you make a decision.

Unfocused Delay Serves No Purpose

There is a difference between consciously not taking action and avoiding making a decision. The first is a plan. The second is a waste of time. Being indecisive out of fear serves no purpose. It just stresses you out and reduces the amount of time you have left to actually do something.

Being Indecisive Puts You in the Hands of Fate

One nice thing about being decisive is that it puts you in control. Whether you choose to take action or wait, you decide. Too many people let life make their decisions for them; they procrastinate deciding until a point comes where they no longer can decide. If you want to let life push you around, fine. If you want to be master of your own fate, then make a decision.

Indecisive People Are Not Leaders

If you want to be a leader, then make decisions. Leaders are decisive. So many people prefer to pass the buck and ride the fence that when one person steps up with a strong decision, people naturally follow. For more info on this phenomenon, read my Lazy “Leadership Tip: Speak First, Speak Loud” post.

Decisiveness is a skill you would do well to cultivate. One of the reasons the elevator situation stood out to me was that it made me wonder, if this person has trouble making a decision for such a small issue, then how hard must it be for him to make a big decision?

One way to develop any skill is to start small; be decisive in small things so that when the big moments come along, you are more prepared to handle them.

If you’d like to develop your “decision making muscle,” here are four ways to be more decisive in small things:

• Realize That it Doesn’t Matter – If your decision is really about a “small” thing, then it doesn’t make that much of a difference. Make a choice and move on with your life.
• Listen to Your Gut – In response to a previous post I made on a similar topic, reader Jeff commented, “A trick I learned a long time ago. When faced with a binary decision, flip a coin. Either a) while the coin is in midair, you find yourself wishing for an outcome — at which point, you ignore the coin, or b) you find that you really don’t care and random chance suffices.” Not a bad technique to figure out what you really want. Gut’s not infallible, but it will clue you in to your real desires.
• Be Aware of Others – If you want to stand in front of a vending machine for 15 minutes trying to decide between a Twix an a Kit Kat, that’s your prerogative. If you do it standing directly in front of the machine oblivious of the people waiting behind you, then you are a dumbass. Be aware of how your indecisiveness is impacting others. This is doubly true when it comes to elevators…
• Be Aware of the Environment – My biggest pet peeve is the “indecisive bottleneck creator.” The person who walks through a doorway and immediately stops while they decide which way to go, effectively blocking off the doorway. The person who gets to the top of an escalator, and then stops and figures out where they are (while the escalator keeps thrusting people into them). The person who wastes everyone’s time at a food counter deciding what they want, even though they have had ten minutes to think about it (and probably eat at this place all the time and have the menu memorized…). A little bit of attention goes a long way – if people would realize that there is a whole big world around them, the world would be a better place.

For more info on how you can be more decisive, read my “How To Make Better Faster Decisions and Be Happier With Them” post

Decisiveness is a tremendously useful skill to have. Develop the skill now by practicing on the small things – like solving the “elevator dilemma” – and you’ll build a habit and skill that will set you apart from the crowd.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to figure out what to eat for breakfast. Decisions, decisions…

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By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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