Customer Service Dumbassery

If you have any doubt that stupidity exists in the world, then you must listen to the audio I have linked to…

This is from a few years ago, so you may have heard this before. But for me, this is the first time I have heard it, and I am still shocked. Visit this website and take a listen:

Verizon Math

It’s a little long, but I could not stop listening to it. It was like watching a car wreck. If the car was driven by Morlocks. Who were eating babies. While singing muzak versions of Metallica tunes. It was incredibly painful, but I couldn’t turn away.

I…I don’t know what to say about this…even I, who make a point of noticing the stupidity in the world, am shocked at the sheer and utter dumbassery displayed on this call.

Keep listening until (or forward to) the 16 minute or so mark when the manager gets on the phone. That’s the person above the supervisor, and she is as stupid as the rest.

In an nutshell, a guy was told (by multiple people) that his data plan would cost .002 cents per KB, but his bill came to .002 dollars per KB.

The poor guy repeatedly tries to explain the problem, but in the greatest display of the “I don’t get its” since someone tried to explain to Snooki the concept to dignity, neither person on the call grasps the simple math at all.

It’s not calculus! It’s just decimals. In fact, it’s not even math, it’s just knowing the difference between dollars and cents!!! But every time he tries to walk them through the math they keep interchanging dollars and cents. I once tried to explain the geo-political conflict of Kashmir to a hamburger…I feel I had more success than this guy.

I have to warn you, if you’re like me, then you will feel your irritation and frustration rising as you listen to the call. Can you imagine being this poor guy trying to explain something so painfully obvious to people who just won’t get it??

Take a listen, at your own risk:
Verizon Math

Why am I Posting an Audio From Four Years Ago?

A few reasons..

First, as I said, it was new to me. Which means it’s probably new to a lot of you.

Second, as I have recently learned from some customer service interactions, I have no doubt that this kind of incompetence still exists, whether at Verizon or elsewhere (or both).

Third, I feel like I’d like to start a crusade of some kind. I know there is war and disease, and pain and suffering in the world, but if I could reduce the amount of bad service in the world, I would be happy. I don’t even need there to be stellar service; If I could just eliminate every instance of sheer and utter stupidity that occurs in customer service interactions, I feel I would be doing the world a tremendous service.

Of course that is too Herculean a task. But I will do my best and continue to tilt at windmills…

The next time you call a customer service rep and hear an accent and think to yourself, “oh geez, not another outsourced call center,” ask the rep if they know the difference between .002 cents and .002 dollars. If they say, “yes,” ask yourself if you’d rather deal with incompetence or an accent.

Then wonder why, as the caller himself says, “the education system has failed us.”

I usually like to have a point or takeaway lesson in these posts, but this situation, and the stupidity of the two employees so boggles my mind, that I am at a loss.

So let me leave it up to you: What point or lesson do you think we can all take away from this customer service interaction?”

Share your ideas in the comments below and let’s see what we come up with!

About

By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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