There is Stupidity in the World…But There Too is Politeness

I recently came across two stories, one that happened to a friend that shows how annoying some people can be, and one that happened to me that shows how people can still be thoughtful and polite. It was an interesting juxtaposition.

There is Stupidity in the World…

My friend Denise posted this Facebook update this week:

Wow. That smacks of utter dumbassery.

I get it: some people steal. But Denise is right, why would she hand the wallet back in person if she stole the debit card? And how about a little gratitude?! And how about not being rude right in the face of the person who just saved your ass a ton of annoying time having to cancel and reapply for credit cards, drivers license, etc.?!?

Some people are just distrustful of the world. And rude. And stupid. Bob Barker should champion a campaign to have people like that neutered.

…But There Too is Politeness

On the other hand, I had a nice little exchange a few days ago.

I went to the bank to deposit a check (always the best reason to go the bank!). I fill out the deposit slip and stand in line to await the next teller. At this point I am the only one in line, but then I look down and realize that I forgot to write down my account number on the deposit slip. I hop out of line, grab a pen, and quickly write my number on the slip. When I return to the line, a woman has gotten in front of me.

No problem, I am fully aware that I stepped out of line so I stand behind her.

She immediately turns and says, “you can get in front of me.”

I say, “no that’s fine, I’m not in a rush.”

She replies, “no, you were here first, you just had to quickly fix something. Please, you can go.”

Wow. That was very sweet. I warmly said, “thank you very much, I appreciate that,” and accepted her kindness and got in front of her. (some of you may feel that since she was a woman, and older than me, that I should have insisted that she go first. Well, I have a low tolerance for the repeated back and forth, “‘you go,’ ‘no you go,’ ‘no I insist, you go'” type game. If you keep pushing, I’ll give in. Two times is enough. Get off my case….)

I left there feeling very happy with that interaction. It was a tiny little thing and had very little impact on my day or life, but it just made me feel good about people, especially since I seem to see (and write about) so much rude behavior in the world.

There are three lessons I’d like to point out from these two simple stories:

Don’t Repay Kindness With a Smack in the Face
If someone does something nice to you (like return your lost wallet), don’t be a dumbass to them. There’s nothing wrong checking your wallet and making sure everything is there (even if my friend hadn’t stolen anything, it’s possible someone else had or something had fallen out), but take a second and think things through and apply a little logic. And be nice to the person who did something nice to you. And don’t be rude. Or stupid. Or I’ll mock you for it.

If you think about it, in the story above, even if Denise had stolen the guy’s debit card, a) she couldn’t do much with it without the PIN, b) he could just go cancel it, which would mean having to cancel only one card instead of an entire wallet’s worth. Either way, the dude comes out ahead.

Practice Small Acts of Kindness
The woman in the bank would have been 100% in the right to not let me in front of her; I had jumped out of line. But she did something nice because she felt it was right, and that made me feel good. On some level, I’m sure it made her feel good too. The world needs more of that.

Hold someone’s place in line. Smile at the strangers you meet. Hold a door open for someone. Do something nice and spread the kindness. It’s easy, and it’s good.

There is Both Good and Bad in the World
You find what you look for. I notice a lot of the stupid rude stuff because it makes me laugh and I can write and speak about it. But I really love seeing the good stuff, because it seems rare and it makes me feel good (plus, I can write about that too). I would like nothing more than to spend a day out and encounter nothing but kind, polite, nice people and great service. That may not happen, but good behavior and great service exist; you just have to keep an eye out for it.