The Curious Tale of The Stupid Shipping Company

My recent post on “over-delivery” in terms of time reminded me of what I can only describe as the stupidest example of “delivery guy customer service” I can possibly think of.

I will from time to time use an online printing company to print up my one-sheets, business cards, and various other physical materials. The company I order from uses DHL for their deliveries. I had never had anything delivered via DHL, but so what? It shouldn’t be a problem, right? I guess this is what they mean by “famous last words.”

The first time I ordered, I received no notification that the delivery was made. My condo has a little foyer/vestibule type entrance where the mailboxes are, and I came home one day and see that there are a couple of boxes there for me. I assume that the DHL guy came and someone buzzed him in to the vestibule where he left my boxes. No problem (if that is what happened. Which I now doubt).

There was a problem though – there were some flyers missing. In fact, it seemed like entire box of flyers was missing. Now I had to go through the whole “customer service/loss reporting” process. Fortunately, the printing company was quite good and took care of it quickly without any problem.

The next time I ordered from them I see that I can enter in my email for delivery confirmation and updates. Great! This will help me immensely. I enter my email address, confident that things will go smoothly this time. I guess this is again what they mean by “famous last words.”

About a week later I am sitting at my computer when I get an email notice, “Your package has been delivered!”

Now this is odd, because I am at my computer in the home office where the package is being delivered. I don’t have a recollection of having received any packages, and I have been there all morning. At no point did I hear my buzzer go off indicating that someone was trying to deliver me something. Unless I was in some kind of weird somnambulistic state where I didn’t know what the heck was going on, I was pretty sure that a package had not in fact been delivered to me. Hmm….

I go downstairs into the vestibule, and see no packages. I open the front door of my condo building, and lo and behold, there are my boxes!

What.

The.

Heck?!?!

Clearly, what had happened was the DHL dude took my boxes, walked up to my condo, put the boxes on the stoop of my condo, and left. Never rang the buzzer to see if I was home. Didn’t try to actually “deliver” my boxes to me, which, I don’t know, seems pretty integral to the job of a deliver guy!

Here’s the thing: I live in Philadelphia. In downtown Philadelphia. In the city!

What human being with even a modicum of intelligence possibly thinks it’s ok to leave boxes outside, on a stoop, in a city, a scant twenty feet off the sidewalk, in plain view of anyone and everyone walking by??

What delivery person doesn’t even ring the damned buzzer to at least try to deliver what they are paid to deliver?

(Perhaps I am harping on the whole delivery thing too much. But I don’t think so.)

This made less than zero sense to me. It did make me believe that on my previous delivery that DHL has left my boxes outside and that someone came along and took one. My assumption is that perhaps a well meaning neighbor came home, saw the remaining boxes outside, and smartly moved them in. (interestingly, that means that someone in Philadelphia stole and now owns 1,000 copies of my Ding Happens! Flyer. That would probably go down in history as the least lucrative haul in thieving history. Though I would like to have been there when the thief proudly plopped the box down in front of his friends in an effort to impress, expecting there to be electronics, or DVDs, or even books they could resell, only to get 1,000 flyers with my smiling face on them. That almost makes it all worth it. I wonder if he or any of his friends went on to buy and of my products. Nah, that seems unlikely…)

The next time I ordered from this printer, I asked if I could use a different shipping company and they said “no,” as they only use DHL. My designer had a relationship with this company and got discounts for me, but if that wasn’t the case, I almost certainly would have used a different printing company. Instead, I had them deliver my boxes to a friend’s house – he lived in the burbs and had an enclosed porch, so I figured if my stuff got left there (which it did) it would be safe (which it was). But it added a layer of inconvenience for me based on nothing but the delivery company’s/guy’s stupidity.

I blame DHL, because there are only two reasons I could see this happening:

DHL Has a Stupid Policy

Perhaps DHL has a policy to simply, “leave the boxes outside the building.” Well that might work for where my friend lives, or for where I grew up in a suburban town, but in a city? No way.

Applying a “one size fits all” policy when one size clearly does not fit all is just dumb.

DHL Hires Stupid People

Maybe DHL doesn’t have such a policy. Maybe they delivery person just acted stupidly. All that means is that DHL hires stupid people. But this is why you have to hire carefully; every employee you hire is a reflection of your organization. If you hire someone who does something stupid (either as a full employee or a subcontractor), that stupidity is going to be reflected up the food chain to you.

You might think I am being unfair, condemning a whole organization based on one bad experience with one bad delivery person. But them’s the breaks my friends. With three other perfectly viable alternatives, (UPS, FedEx, and the U.S. Postal Service) I can assure you, I will never ever ever use DHL for any delivery ever. If I can avoid having something shipped to me DHL, I absolutely will.

These are the only two reasons I can see why the delivery person would not have at least rung my buzzer (yes, I double checked that they had the unit number on the delivery info). Stupid policy or stupid people. Neither one is a good thing. Stupid is as stupid does, and I won’t succumb to that stupidity again.

Hopefully, the policies and people you have in your organization won’t deliver on stupidity either.

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Motivational Humorist page now!
 

About

By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

• Mail
|
• More Posts (483)