Five Don’ts of Using “Free” Without Being a Jerk

Wouldn’t you love it if you could get someone to do something for you for free? Wouldn’t that be awesome? Well yes, it would! The problem is that some people, when being fortunate enough to convince someone to do something for free, just don’t know how to handle it properly…

Over the years, I have done some free (or as we like to say, “no-fee” work). Everyone has. It may have been when I was starting out, just to get my name out there and get some practice, or for a cause I cared about, or to speak to a new industry I really wanted to break into, or just as a favor to a friend.

Having done quite a few of those, I have learned a thing or two about how people act when they get someone to do something for free. Sadly, some people just love to smack a gift horse in the mouth and come across like big jerks, even though you are doing them a favor by not charging (it can be so bad at times that some colleagues refuse to do anything for free simply because they feel they are more likely to be treated poorly. Crazy!)

But this is not just my experience! I have chatted with friends and colleagues about this issue. Not just other speakers, but people from many different fields such as graphic design, music, IT, and more. From these conversations, I have come up with the five “Don’ts” of taking advantage of free services without being a jerk. Please refer to these if you are fortunate enough to have someone offer their services to you at no charge (for whatever reason).

(Note: yes, there is a flip side – “how to properly deliver when you’re doing it for free,” because some people do a bad job wen they are not getting paid. But that will be the focus of another post…)

Don’t Be Mean

You would think that if you are gracious enough to waive your fee for someone that they would fall all over themselves being nice to you. While this does happen quite often, every so often you get some nasty person who just treats you like dirt. And not that fancy soft cleansing dirt. Nope. They just treat you like garden variety, scrape off the bottom of your shoe, dirt.

I think people should be nice, respectful, and polite to everyone they encounter. Why this even has to be said in terms of being nice to someone who is offering you something for free, I don’t know. But it does.

Don’t Be Too Demanding

Keep in mind, you’re not paying anything. Yes, you want the best quality results you can get, but you do get what you pay for. Demanding rush jobs is completely unfair. Especially if the huge rush is because of your own damned fault. (i.e. “poor planning on your part does not constitute and emergency on my part.” Doubly true if I am doing it for free and you give me no warning!).

Similarly, expecting numerous rewrites and edits, giving painstaking feedback, micro managing, and requiring excessive amounts of emails, updates, and paperwork is just wrong. Be accommodating and flexible and everyone will be much happier.

Don’t Exaggerate

Anyone who’s every done a free gig of any nature knows of what I speak here. People love to exaggerate the benefit you will get if you do something for free for them.

I get solicited to speak for free because “it will be great exposure.” Then they tell me how many people will be in the audience, how many potential clients will be there, and how great the whole experience will be. Every time I have done that, I find that the audience is much smaller than what I was told. With a very small number of potential clients.

It’s gotten to a point that when I have these types of conversations I automatically cut whatever estimated attendance they tell me in half. “Oh, you think 200 people will be there?” I instantly envision a room with 100 people. This method has rarely been wrong.

There is a strong urge, when trying to convince someone to give you something for free (or even reduced fee) to try to make it as enticing as possible. But please, resist the urge to exaggerate expectations! It will just make you look very, very bad. And make me much less likely to help you again in the future.

This isn’t just for speakers. Service providers get this all the time too. “Oh, you’re stuff will be in front of hundreds of potential clients who can hire you.” Maybe, or maybe it’s just one potential client and fifty people who like free food. I am just saying…

Don’t Lie

Sad to say, but some people will go one step beyond exaggeration into full on lying. Don’t do this. If I have to explain why, then get off my blog now and never come back.

Don’t Forget

Here’s a sad truth I have discovered over the years: people are really busy and tend to focus on what’s important to them in that moment. What this means is that while you are working for someone, for free or for money, they are totally engaged with you during the course of the project (i.e. while they need you). Then, once the project is over, they may very well disappear.

That is, during the project you may get email contacts from them every day. Afterward, when you want to follow up with them and see how things went and talk about the possibility of future paid work or referrals, they suddenly drop off the radar and don’t reply. Then, two weeks later, you’ll get an email, “oh, I’m sorry, things have been sooo busy. Maybe we can chat next week :-)” (p.s. their use of the “smiley face” there doesn’t make the situation less annoying. Just FYI.) Of course, “next week” never comes. Now that they no longer need you they are too busy to chat. It’s really kind of ridiculous.

This isn’t hugely offensive when you have been paid, because there was an equal exchange of money for services. Any extra follow up is bonus. But when you have waived your fee…

Don’t forget about the people who have done stuff for you for free! Return their emails. Take their calls. Have honest conversations with them about future paid work. Keep them in mind for referrals and leads.

This is how relationships are built. Plus, it’s karma. Plus, I’m betting somewhere during your initial conversations you alluded to the possibility of future work and referrals. Now’s the time to pony up. To not do so is to be dishonest.

To be honest, I have had some wonderful experiences speaking pro bono, many decent experiences, and a few really bad ones. I don’t want to give the impression that all people who get free stuff are jerks; most aren’t. But enough of them are that I wanted to write this post for you to read and share in hopes that in the future, all people who offer something for free will have a tremendously awesome experience!

P.S. I don’t want you to go reading this post assuming I will speak to your group for free! I don’t do too many of those, so I probably won’t (i.e. you would have work hard to convince me that it’s a real good fit). But, if you would like to talk about hiring me to speak for your group, then check out my Motivational Humorist page now!