When Policy Meets Dumbassery

We all know that slavish adherence to policy is annoying, right? Even though this is something we already know, sometimes a story comes along and makes you lament the sheer and utter stupidity that exists in the world today…

I came across a story today about a seventh grade student named Rachael who received a five day suspension from her school. “What did she do wrong?” you ask. Nothing really, other than immediately saying no and giving back some drugs someone handed her. Yes, in this day and age that’s worth a five day suspension…

Here’s the story (Bonus points to the article for calling the official a “dumbass”):

Another Dumbass School Official Story

Basically, some student came to school with a bag of pills. The student takes a pill out of the bag and sticks it in Rachael’s hand. Rachael says, “I don’t want this,” puts the pill back in the bag, and goes merrily about her day.

At this point you’re thinking, “cool! She actually followed the ‘Just Say No’ campaign. Nancy Reagan would be proud! She should be applauded…”

Nope. A little later that day Rachael was pulled out of class because the other girl had been caught. Rachael was told that the school’s policy has an automatic five day suspension for anyone touching or handling drugs. Ergo, she was being suspended.

Yes, you read that right. Someone stuck a pill in her hand, she turned it down and gave it back, and she is still being suspended for five days.

What.

The.

Heck?!?!

Clearly this is an example of dumbassery, right?

Perhaps you think that they didn’t believe her story. Oh no, not at all! Here’s a direct quote from Rachael’s mother about the assistant principal (the one dolling out the punishment):

“He said she wrote it down on a witness statement and she had told the truth, he said she was very, very honest and he said he was sorry he had to do it but it was school policy,” said Patty Greer.

So he believes her, applauds her, and then punishes her because it was policy.

Perhaps you think that they punished her not for touching the pill, but for not reporting the incident. Oh no, not at all! From the article:

We wanted to know what would have happened if Rachael had told a teacher right away. Bell said the punishment would not have been any different. District officials say if they’re not strict about drug policies no one will take them seriously.

Wow. How can anyone hope to succeed in a world run by idiocy?

Look, I understand the need for policies, procedures, and best practices. They are good tools to have. A good policy lets people know the guidelines, and frankly it allows you to deal with the crazy people without getting into repeated two hour long arguments (yes, oddly enough I am supporting the occasional use of the “hide behind policy” strategy – when it’s justified)

But really, policies should serve us, not condemn a 12 year old girl with a black mark on her school record for doing nothing wrong. Think about it: she’s going to have a drug related suspension on her record – and all she did was turn them down!

No policy can cover every single eventuality; the world is far too complicated a place for that. This is why intelligent people need to be in charge of things. They should understand this (but maybe that’s assuming too much). I don’t know this assistant principle, I don’t know if he’s a smart man, and I don’t know if he feels his hands are tied by the school board. But the buck has to stop somewhere.

And that’s the problem with policies. Usually, the buck stops not with a person, but with a written, often outdated, and usually “inappropriate for this situation,” policy.

Policies are good to have, but if you do create or implement one, I suggest one or more of the following:

Have a Review/Appeal Process

The end of the line should never be the policy itself. There should be some mechanism for “outlier” type cases where a situation matches the spirit of the policy but not the letter of it (such as a girl turning down drugs – that matches the desired outcome of the policy, but not the letter about “touching drugs”)

Have Some Flexibility Within the Policy

How is a written piece of paper going to be able to anticipate every single situation? It can’t. The assistant principle, who admits that he approves of what the girl did and feels bad, should have some choice in how he applies the policy.

The fear of course is favoritism, bias, abuse, etc. Guess what? That’s a part of life! That’s why you a) hire smart people and b) periodically review what they do.

Is that harder than strictly adhering to a policy? Yes. Does it take more work? Yes. Will it absolutely result in a better, more logical, more fair system? Yes.

Get a Better Policy

At the end of the day, if you’re not going to have a review process or any flexibility, then you need a better damned policy.

In this story, I get that the whole, “automatic suspension for anyone handling drugs,” is to prevent kids from lying and saying, “oh, I wasn’t going to take or sell these, Billy just asked me to hold them for him for a minute.” But the globalness of “handling drugs” means that a person like Rachael gets screwed just because someone stuck a pill in her hand. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Stories of ridiculous “policy” issues abound. Chances are, yours has some holes in it. You’ll never create a perfect one, which is why one of the first two ideas are better, but if you can’t (or are too lazy) to do one of those, at least remove the ambiguity and stupidity from your current one.

It will be interesting to see how Rachael’s story plays out. It’s got national exposure now, and I am sure advocate groups are going to jump in. Hopefully, this situation gets resolved the right way.

If not, don’t be surprised if young Rachael decides to cope by listening to some Grateful Dead while she sits back and fires up a fat doobie…

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