“I Need To Laugh Like This More Often”
This past weekend, I laughed my ass off. I hope you did too. If not, keep reading…
I traveled down to Florida to spend two days as part of a planning team for an event this summer. I then stuck around for another day visiting with some very good friends.
The planning meeting involved work, but the team consisted of a great group of people that all have similar senses of humor. So even though there is work to be done, there is usually much laughter. This weekend was no exception.
One night, one of the members says to me, “I need to laugh like this more often. I’ve been laughing so hard my stomach hurts.”
She then said, “I rarely laugh like this. Do you?”
I shrugged and said, “yeah, kind of all the time.”
She said, “really?” Evidently, this level of laughter was an unusual thing.
“Mmm, hmm.” Now I felt bad, like the dumbass who talks about how much he loves his job to someone who just got laid off.
I tried to explain, “I’m lucky enough to live right near some of my best friends, and we all have similar senses of stupid goofy humor, so I get to laugh like this all the time.”
The next morning, unprompted, two others said the same thing – how they never really laugh as hard as when we all get together, which is only about twice a year.
I started wondering whether I was exaggerating the laughs I share with my friends…
Well, the next night I met up with my other friends (two of whom were in from Philly and I see all the time), and sure enough, we all laughed our asses off. There was even a moment where, in a bout of impeccable timing, my friend said something to me just as I had taken a swig of beer. I literally spit the beer up in laughter and had to catch it in my hand. Gross? Sure. But funny…
This got me thinking about a few things:
1) I’m Pretty Lucky
It’s easy to look at what you don’t have, or what you haven’t yet achieved, or what others have that you don’t. I sure as heck do from time to time. Sometimes it’s important to step back and appreciate what you do have. I certainly came home from my trip with a new found appreciation for my friends, my life, and the sheer amount of regular fun and humor that is in it.
Question: What great stuff is in your life that you are taking for granted?
2) We Assume Others Do What We Do
I’ve hung out with some groups before where the people don’t really seem to laugh all that much. At first I assumed that those groups just consisted of a bunch of social duds.
Then I got a wee bit less judgmental, and started thinking that maybe our senses of humor just didn’t match, and that in their own way and on their own time, they probably laughed and had just as much fun as I did.
After hearing multiple people talk about how infrequently they laugh like they did that weekend, I’m not so sure. Maybe there’s a middle ground between “social dud” and “person who laughs all the time.” I think most people fall into this group.
Question: What do you assume others do because you do it? Does that color your actions or opinions in a way that perhaps it shouldn’t?
3) Are People Really Not Laughing?
As a humorist and Motivational Smart Ass, this is my biggest question. Are people really not laughing that much? Why the heck not??
One of the tritest things you’ll ever read on an online dating profile is when someone says, “I love to laugh.” Well, duh! Who doesn’t? Laughing, by definition, is what we do when we feel good (or what we do to feel good). Saying, “I love to laugh,” is like saying, “I rather prefer to not be hit in the head with a hammer.”
So if that’s the case, why do people except lives of limited laughter? Why not seek out laughter and fun in everything you do? You may not find it all the time, but more is better than rarely, right?
Question: Are you laughing enough? (“Yes” is the only acceptable answer to this question. If you didn’t answer with a resounding, “yes,” go out and bring laughter into your life now.)
4) We Need to Bring More Of What We Want Into Our Lives
Maybe you don’t care about laughing your ass off all the time. I can respect that (I may not understand you, but I can respect that). But what do you care about? And how much of that is in your life?
Laughter is important to me, and I have a career and environment that really lets me maximize that. I know people who care about peace and serenity, and they have adjusted their lives to be in an environments that support that. I have a friend who gets depressed by cold weather, so, after 33 years dealing with Philly’s winters, she moved to sunny Phoenix and has been loving it (she once sent me a picture of a coyote who crossed her path while she was walking her dogs. She was fine with this development. In her world, free-roaming carnivorous predators are preferable to a little bad weather. Hey, to each their own…).
How about you? What are you doing to bring more of what you care about into your life? Do you live near people who bring that into your life? Does your work (and the people you work with) add more of that? Do you consistently seek out opportunities to bring more of that in?
And how frequently do you do it? So many people spend all year working so that for just a few days they can experience what they really care about. That seems a bit sad, no? You can and should be experiencing what you love much more frequently than that. You don’t have to go on a 30 day Outback Walkabout to experience nature, or upend your life and live on the beach to find peace, or wait six months to see that one friend you laugh with. Those are great “big” experiences, but you can find little ways every day, week, or month to experience what’s important to you. Life is too short not to.
Question: Have you set up your life to maximize what you enjoy and what’s important to you? If not, what can you do today to start maximizing it?
It’s a simple process, it just needs to be done. Start by figuring out what’s most important to you and then find ways of bringing more and more of that into your life. Whether it’s laughter, peace, nature, adventure, or whatever; find it, increase it, and experience it over and over. Remember, “twice a year” is not nearly enough!
About
By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+