Email Dumbassery

You know what’s great about the internet? You can communicate with anyone almost instantly by sending an email. You know what sucks about the internet? Stupid people can communicate with you almost instantly by sending you an email…

My friend Mike has a company called Game Music, Inc. As you might guess, his company writes music for video games. The other day, he forwarded me an email someone sent him who I suppose was looking for work…

Here’s the email:

Wow. Just…wow.

Normally in these situations I would delete the person’s name to protect the innocent (and stupid). Of course in this delicious bit of email eloquence the guy opted not even to sign his name.

Even taking into account that this guy may be a little younger and the fact that the film/video game music industry isn’t a very tight laced corporate type environment, this is a ridiculous email to send to anyone in a professional context.

20 words, 91 characters, 8 errors (at least). This guy has an impressive “dumbass efficiency” rating.

What I really love is the last two lines: “LOL! i love it!” I can’t begin to even try to understand what he means by that…If he wants to be part of Mike’s team, why is he “LOL!”? And what “it” does he “love”? I would love to watch a conversation where an English teacher is trying to explain the concept of pronouns and antecedents to the email sender. That could easily supplant “My Dinner With Andre” as the best “entire movie based around a single conversation” move of all time.

Also, is it me or shouldn’t there be a comma after “team” on the first line? Unless of course the guy wants to join Mike’s “team man.” Whatever a “team man: is…

What makes this even funnier (and sadder) is what my friend wrote in the email when he forwarded this to me:

Funniest part? His sound is really polished… if only his email was, also. 🙂

Yes, here is a true case where the work was good, but the sheer tidal wave of unprofessionalism made the relationship a non-starter.

I truly hope I am preaching to the choir. Just in case I am not, here are a few takeaways for you:

Universal Principles Are, Well, Universal…

It doesn’t matter what industry you are in or how cool you think you are. People like to work with intelligent professionals who can string words together into coherent thoughts, not with people who make Kevin Federline look like a Rhodes Scholar. Which one does this email make you think the sender is?

First Impressions Matter

I have written this statement many times on this blog, and that’s because it’s very true – and often forgotten. A typo or uncapitalized “I” can be forgiven in the fifth email. But in the first? Not likely. Of course, no volume of emails can can create a situation where “JAMBA – DUDE….???” is an appropriate subject line.

Not All Standing Out Was Created Equal

You want to make an impression and have people talk about you. But not because you look so stupid everyone needs to show their friends. Being memorable and being a dumbass are not the same thing.

I truly hope you would never send an email that ridiculous. However, it is easy to make minor mistakes that are similar to these in any communication. Be vigilant and learn from Jamba’s example – don’t be an email Dumbass

About

By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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