6 Freakin’ Great Things About Being Single!

Valentine’s Day is in two days, and this is the time when many single people start to feel bad about their single status. Yesterday, I posted , which in and of itself was a follow up to .

Today, I offer the counter point! There is no reason to feel bad about is. In fact, there are some great things about being single. Freakin’ great things!

Here are six of them:

Shopping

Perhaps this point should be, “lack of shopping.” I have about a 45 minute threshold when it comes to shopping. After that point, I get pretty bored and antsy. This is probably due to psychological scarring caused by the childhood trauma of being forced to accompany my parents to the India Sari Palace in Jackson Heights, Queens, while my mom spent God knows how long buying Indian clothes. Let me tell you, there are few things as boring for a young lad than the India Sari Palace in Jackson Heights, Queens.

As an adult, I have found that going shopping with my female family members quickly devolves into a game of “how quickly can I find a bookstore/coffee shop/food court to sit in and wait?”

This game becomes unwinnable when you are with a significant other, because you have to stay there with here. She wants your opinion on stuff. Or she likes to consider this “us” time that you can not walk away from.

These days, my shopping trips consist of quick “run in, get what I need, run out” type trips. Or I go with people who like the same stuff I do. Or I go alone and enjoy myself without subjecting anyone else to my nonsense.

Ladies, if you disagree with this point, remember, “shopping” is a very general term. If you have ever been dragged to a comic shop, karate store, sports hall of fame, or electronics mega-store, then you know of what I speak.

EVERYTHING About Sleeping

Sleeping is magnificent, and it is always better alone (note: I am talking about actually sleeping here, not, you know, other stuff…). You know how I know it’s always better alone? Because that’s the one thing that every friend I have who lives with someone always says when their living-mate is away: how much they enjoy having the bed to themselves.

Here are the single person’s sleeping advantages:

• I get the whole bed – Left side, right side, down the middle, or sprawled out like a sea lion sunning myself on a rock. It doesn’t matter, I get it all. I think I’ll sleep horizontally tonight just to rub it in to my married friends.
• Sleeping times – My buddy (who sleeps in) told me a story about how his girlfriend (who wakes up early) once woke up, set the clock two hours ahead, then woke him up and said, “get up, it’s already ten o’clock.” He did, and when he realized the ruse he was already up and awake. Guess who never has to deal with that kind of duplicity? Or with “when are you coming to bed?” Or, “could you turn the light off even though you love to read in bed and it helps you fall asleep because it bothers me?” That’s right: this guy.
  
• Restful sleep – I think I snore. You why I don’t know for sure? Because I’m asleep when I do it. Doesn’t bother me none, and when I’m single I don’t have to worry about it bothering anyone else. On the flip side, when you’re single you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s snoring keeping you awake. Or their kicking. Or their tossing and turning. Or their habit of wanting to snuggle up in a way that forces their hair up into your nostrils making it relatively impossible to breathe (not that that has ever happened to me…)

Lazy Days

My idea of a nice lazy Sunday: wake up, read for a bit, watch a NetFlix movie, maybe hit the gym, pop out for a bite to eat, do some web surfing, meet some friends for a meal or drinks, catch up on some DVR, read some more, and go to sleep.

My idea of a not so nice, not so lazy Sunday: wake up, read for 2 minutes until you have to get ready to go shopping to run all your errands for the week, which needs to be done early so you can have the rest of the day free to cook, clean, go to someone else’s company picnic, come home, put together an IKEA sideboard, spend 53 minutes moving it inch by inch until it’s in the exact right spot, and then go to bed (without reading of course, because the light bothers someone…).

I know which one I’ll be doing if I’m single, and which I’ll be doing if I’m not.

Movies

Guess what I didn’t have to see in the theater? The Notebook, Autumn in New York, and The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

‘Nuff said.

Guilt Free Non Dieting

I try to eat healthy (ok, if you know me, stop laughing, I am trying. Shut up, I mean it! I really am trying to eat healthier. Just this week I ate some spinach. That should hold me over for a week or two, right…?)

In any case, when I choose to eat unhealthy, I don’t need to avoid the look of disappointment on a girlfriend’s face, or hear the passive aggressive, “how many beers is that again?” or get the ever so subtle, “hey fat ass, stop eating!”

No, when I eat junk food it’s just me and that little voice in my head, which I have long since learned to suppress and ignore.

Of course, since I will from time to time eat nothing but a bag of chips with accompanying cheese dip, it might not be the worst thing in the world to have a woman “tsk tsking” me about my food intake. But this is all about freedom and choice. I live in America! I like to believe that the founding fathers envisioned a future where I would use the Constitution as grounds to eat eat Spicy Nacho Doritoes and Salsa Con Queso.

I Can Walk Away From Your Craziness At Anytime

Let’s face it: we’re all crazy. You, me, everyone I have dated, everyone you have dated, everyone either of us will ever date. It’s just a fact. Dating, therefore, is about finding the person who’s craziness your are most willing to put up with.

Once you have committed to someone, you are kinda obligated to put up with their ridiculousiosity.

I could write a long list of stuff that men and women have to put up with when they are in a relationship. But, Dodge put together a Super Bowl ad that lists the man’s point of view, and someone did a spoof/counter video from the woman’s point of view. Why don’t you just go ahead and watch them (note: the woman’s video does have a little profanity at the end – consider yourself warned):

(Note: My favorite thing about the woman’s last stand video is that she mentions that she’ll listen to Rush. I don’t care what the context is, or whether she likes the music, or even if she mocks them – which she doesn’t, she mocks the air drumming – if a woman is willing to listen to Rush with me, well then, that may very well be all it takes for me to fall in love…)

The nice thing about being single is that you don’t have to put up with anyone else’s crazy. You can if you choose to, but at the end of the day you get to leave it behind and let it be someone else’s problem.

Think about that the next time you accidentally get caught right in between an idiotic “discussion” between your friend and his/her significant other.

At the end of the day, would I like to be in a relationship? Sure. If you’re wondering why, then check out this post and this post (not to mention the whole “love and sex” thing…). In the meantime, rather than wallowing in self pity, I am going to take advantage of the freedom and autonomy I have now.

And that’s the real lesson of all of this. It’s great to know what you want and to strive for it, but take some time to enjoy (and really take advantage of) your current situation. Chances are you’ll miss some of the things you have now once you end up getting what you want…

P.S. I accidentally saved this post as “7 Things,” not 6, which is why it says “7” in the URL. So, help me get to seven by adding your own. What do you like about being single – or what do you miss now that you’re not?

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