NetFlix: Dream Killer…

Ok, maybe NetFlix doesn’t actually kill dreams, but I realized that the way I utilized my NetFlix membership this past year was the same way that many of us approach our dreams and goals. And that approach can be a dream killer.

I am NetFlix’s dream customer! Though I will sometimes go through 3, 6, or, on rare occasion, even 10 DVDs in a month, it is much more common for me to let the discs sit on my shelf for months before I get around to watching them.

A while ago, I decided that I would watch the entire 9-season run of “The X-Files” straight through, start to finish. I was zipping along quite nicely until I hit season 8 (the one without David Duchovny. Go figure). I got to disc 3 of that season, and then stalled. This is where my NetFlix problems began.

Disc 3 of X-Files Season 8 sat on my shelf for months. I didn’t think this was a problem because a) I intended to watch it eventually and b) I had two other discs that I was still watching and returning regularly.

The situation got more complicated when I returned one of my movies but forgot to update my NetFlix queue. Much to my dismay, I received Disc 4 of X-Files Season 8. *sigh*

Now I had another disc of a TV show I was putting off watching. A disc I could not watch until I watched the one I was putting off.

Did I return it? No of course not (that would have made sense). Instead, I told myself, “I’ll just watch them both soon and send them back.” As you can probably guess, this never happened.

The days went by, and finally, this past weekend, I committed to returning the X-Files DVDs. I went on the site to update my queue (no point in returning discs 3 and 4 only to get discs 5 and 6 back!). NetFlix lets you know what discs you have and when they shipped them to you. I am embarrassed to say that I had X-Files Season 8 Disc 3 in my possession for over one year! And I had disc 4 for about 4 months.

Sad as it was, I knew I couldn’t change the past. I updated my queue – putting movies I will actually watch on top – and dropped the movies off in the mailbox. This felt good. Almost cathartic. A wildly out of proportion sense of accomplishment washed over me…

Pathetic as my story is, I realized that there is a lot to be learned from my NetFlix/X-Files saga. The concept of holding on to things that we will “someday” use is one of the more damaging things to our overall happiness and success.

Here’s what I learned:

It’s the Little Things That Get You

The big negatives in life are easy to see. As such, we usually deal with them quickly. If I had a $200 monthly charge for something I was not using at all, I would quickly cancel it or start using it. At $17/month, NetFlix was an easy thing to ignore.

$17 may not be much, but month after month, it adds up. Moreover, there is a mental drain that every little distraction causes. Be it a wasted membership, a little too much clutter, a leaky faucet, etc. All of these little annoyances combine to drain a huge amount of mental energy from your happiness and goals.

Question: What little energy/money drainers are you allowing to persist in your life because they seem too small to worry about?

Let Go!

Letting go is hard to do. While I can understand the difficulty in letting go of something that you see or use everyday, what boggles the mind is the things we hold on to that we have never used, nor will we probably ever use! For some reason, we take comfort in just, “knowing it is there.”

Make sure you hold on to the big, important things in life. For the rest, decide whether you are holding on to something because it is really important or simply out of fear that you may need it “someday.”

Question: What are you holding on to that you need to let go of?

Letting Go Is Not Necessarily Permanent

Here’s the goofy thing about my NetFlix story: I could have returned the X-Files DVD months ago, and, if I later on wanted to watch it, I could simply have re-ordered it from NetFlix! Returning a NetFlix movie is not a permanent thing.

There are many things in life like that. We fear leaving an organization, spending less time with certain people, or taking a break from a business pursuit or hobby. But most of those things can be taken up again. Many of them will benefit from the break.

Question: What do you need to let go of that you are fooling yourself into thinking will be a permanent decision?

Good Intentions are Meaningless

I fully intended to watch those X-Files DVDs. I really did! And yet, every time I would pop on the TV, I would have no desire to put the disc in. My “good intentions,” led me to hold on to a disc for over a year…

Good intentions are everywhere, and are relatively meaningless. It’s not what you intend to do, it’s what you actually do that matters.

Are you intending to write a novel, start a business, take up a hobby, start exercising, etc.? Good for you. No one cares. Go do something.

Question: What have you been “intending” to do for a while that you need to just get off your butt and start doing?

No One Intends to Put Things Off For a Year

If you intentionally put something off for a year, that is the equivalent of letting it go, and that is good thing. Most of us don’t do that.

Instead, we put things off a day, or a week, or until, “things quiet down.” Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. Life rarely gets more quiet, even after the big project is done, the holidays end, the kids go to school, etc.

I didn’t plan on delaying that NetFlix return for a year. I just put it off one day at a time. Before I knew it, a whole year had passed.

Not a big deal when we’re just talking about NetFlix movies. But it’s a huge deal when it relates to our goals, dreams, and overall life happiness.

How many people do you know who stay at a job they hate “just a little bit longer,” only to wake up 20 years later and find that half of their life has simply passed them by…?

To quote one of my favorite books, “The War of Art,” by Stephen Pressfield: “We don’t tell ourselves, ‘I’m never going to write my symphony.’ Instead we say, ‘I’m going to write my symphony; I’m just going to start tomorrow.'”

Question: What have you been putting off day after day, week after week, month after month, that you can start working on TODAY?

I am now committed to making the most of my NetFlix queue. I will quickly watch DVDs I get and I will return movies that I am putting off watching. Most importantly, I will take the NetFlix lessons and apply them to the much bigger areas of my life. I truly hope that you will do the same…