Committing Felonies, Just to Prove a Point

In case you were wondering, I am not a car thief. I have no idea how to hot wire a car. To me a Slim Jim is a delicious snack of dubious origin, not a tool to unlock a car door. Heck, I have never even played Grand Theft Auto.

But a few days ago I was sorely tempted to steal a car, just to make a point…

On my way home from running a few errands, I stopped at a Wawa (a Philadelphia area convenience store. So good…) to pick up a hoagie (a Philadelphia area name for a “sub sandwich”). As I pull into a parking spot, I can hear music blaring out from the car next to me. Keep in mind, at this point my car is still running, my windows are still up, and my radio is still on. And I can still hear music blaring out from this car!

I get out of my car and notice that this car (it was actually an SUV, I believe) with the discotheque inside was still running. “Ok,” I think, “he must be leaving.”

But when I surreptitiously glance through the windshield, I see that there is no one behind the wheel! Car’s on, no one’s driving.

“Okey dokey,” I think, “maybe there’s someone else in the back seat and the guy left the music on to keep them entertained (though really, leaving someone in a parked car with the music that loud is more akin to something from ‘Silence of the Lambs’ than to entertainment).”

I take a longer look and see that the car is completely empty. Amazing! Guy leaves his car running with music at obscenely loud volume while he runs in to Wawa.

I shake my head at the occasional idiocy of humanity, go inside, get my hoagie, and come out. The SUV is still there, music still blaring, engine still running, still no one inside. Then I notice one additional thing: the driver’s side window is rolled all the way down.

My friends, I was sorely tempted to jump in and drive off, just to teach this moron a lesson.

Think about the various forms of pollution he was contributing to:

1. Environmental pollution – Leaving a car idling while you run an errand? I’m not the greenest guy on the planet, but come on! Let’s have a little consideration.
2. Noise pollution – Blasting your music so loud that people in the next county can hear it is just stupid. That ringing you will be hearing in your ears for all eternity is the universe’s way of saying, “I told you so.”
3. Intelligence pollution – This level of idiocy permeates society and hurts us all.

Here was a person who needed to have their car stolen, just to learn a lesson.

(Frankly, I never understood the whole, “let me leave the car running while I hop into this store,” mentality. Is it really that difficult to turn the car off and then turn it back on when you get back to your car? Unless you’re robbing a bank, do you really need to leave the car running?)

You may be wondering, “Avish, did you steal the car?” No. No I did not. For three reasons:

1. As I said, I’m not a car thief. Ding happens, and with my luck the guy would happen to come out just as I was hopping into his car. I may be a bad-ass martial artist, but I know one thing: never get in between a man and his car.
2. I drove to this Wawa. If I stole his car, I’d have to leave my car behind. And I liked my car better than his.
3. This Wawa happens to be right next to a police station. Not the best place to commit grand theft auto.

So I didn’t steal his car. Besides, I doubt he would have learned a lesson from it anyway.

Instead, I just shook my head again and went along my way. What truly saddens me is how willing some people are to inconvenience and annoy others and even damage the planet just to say themselves 4 seconds of inconvenience (Turn car off, turn car on. simple.).

The Lesson: I’m all for doing things that make your life easier, faster, and more convenience. But please take a quick second to think about how your actions affect the people around you and whether your actions are actually making your life easier or are a just the result of inconsiderate laziness.

The people around you, and the planet, will thank you for it.