I’m WAAAAAY More Important Than You…

Ok, it’s not that I believe I’m more important than you. This just seems to be the attitude so many people take when it comes to matters of common courtesy.

Yesterday, I was driving in the city of Philadelphia down a two way street, with one lane going each way. There was a car in front of me who then stops, puts on his flashers, and double parks.

Double parking is a terribly annoying practice in Philly, but you learn to live with it. Here’s the kicker in this situation: There was an open parking spot right next to this guy!

He could easily, in about 20 seconds, have pulled into a parking spot rather than stopping up traffic. But instead, he did what was most convenient for himself and just stopped in the middle of the road. I was stuck behind him, and one or two cars were behind me.

This was clearly no Mensa student. He must have assumed that I would not be able to figure out from his flashing hazards and total lack of motion that I should drive around him. He lowers his window and “waves” me past (Again, this took only marginally less effort than pulling into the parking spot in the first place). I couldn’t drive around him at the moment though because there was traffic coming the other way. Our friend the double parker was clearly no Sherlock Holmes, however, as he seemed to take my lack of passing him as a sign that I could not decipher what his “waving hand motion” meant. So he stuck his arm out the window and waved me past again, only this time more forcefully, as if to say, “don’t worry about the oncoming traffic, I’m sure you could win a head on collision. Please, just drive around me so I don’t have to feel guilty about stopping up traffic.” Again, this took only marginally less effort then simple pulling into the parking spot.

Of course I, in my own bought of temporary idiocy, yell at him, “I can’t go around, there are cars coming!” I say temporary idiocy because my windows were all shut and there was clearly no way he could hear me. But on some level I believe he could cosmically sense my disapproval.

When the traffic cleared I passed around him and tried desperately to catch a clear glimpse of the star in this one man dumbassery production, but alas, I saw nothing. I may be one of the few drivers in the world who takes the phrase, “keep your eyes on the road,” relatively seriously.

Double parking is a pain in the butt, but I get it. If there is no parking and you are just going to be a minute while you run in to pick something up or wait for someone to come to your car (and it’s a two lane road), I understand. However, if you double park when there are ample parking spaces available for you to pull in to, then you are just a lazy, selfish, inconsiderate jerk. You are basically saying, “Rather than inconvenience myself for thirty seconds, I am going to inconvenience a whole lot of other people for even longer than that, even if it means I will technically be breaking the law by stopping my car in the middle of traffic.” Stupid.

You may be thinking, “so what? Why should I care if others are inconvenienced?” If so, then to you I say firstly, “shut up.” Interestingly, the people who say this are also the people who are most likely to get crazy angry when someone does something to inconvenience them. It’s like the old saying goes, “Hell hath no hypocrisy like a dumbass inconvenienced.”

Secondly, we live in a society. Society’s better themselves when people are willing to take on minor inconveniences for the betterment of all. This is the cornerstone of volunteerism, charity, recycling and the entire green movement, etc. It’s easy to understand this idea when it comes to big specific efforts like these. It’s harder to realize this when it comes to daily activities where you are not consciously trying to be charitable.

Pay attention to how you can apply this yourself. When you are driving, pull into a parking spot instead of double parking, When walking down the sidewalk, move out of the line of pedestrian traffic when you decide to stop to and tie your shoelace. Use your “inside voice” when talking on your cell phone (or to yourself) in public. Don’t get to the top of an escalator or the middle of a doorway and pick that exact moment to stop and try to figure out which way to go when there are people behind you. Have your money ready when you are buying a coffee at Starbucks instead of ordering then rooting around in your pocket, wallet or purse for five minutes (you know how much it is! and you know who you are…). Simple, tiny little things that take almost no time or effort but that also make other people’s lives just a tiny bit easier.

Maybe with a few simple steps we can make society a better, more considerate place. And maybe we can truly make Philadelphia the “City of Brotherly Love.”

Ok, that may be wishful thinking, but a guy’s gotta try, right…?