The Saddest, Most Tragic, Stupidest Thing I Have Seen in a While

Ok, this one’s not funny, but this story has been hanging with me since I first heard it…

From the Associated Press:

Evidently, two groups of guys got into some kind of a dispute at the bar that’s attached to the ballpark. They were kicked out and they continued their fight outside, at which point one of them was beaten to death.

Read it again. One of them was beaten to death

This is a classic and tragic (and probably all too common) example of people who have a complete inability to think more than seven seconds ahead. And now, because getting into a fight over something inconsequential and stupid seemed like a great idea in the moment, one life is ended, one (or more) lives are destroyed, and a host of other lives will be negatively impacted.

“But Avish,” you may be saying, “you don’t know what the fight was about.” Come on. There is nothing that fight could have been about to justify it. They were in a crowded bar at a ball game. Fighting is the last resort, used to defend your life or the lives of those you love from imminent harm. That’s it. I would lay 1,000 to 1 odds that this fight was about someone getting bumped, a beer getting spilled, or someone talking to someone else’s girlfriend. Stupid.

I frequently go out for a few drinks with friends. There is not a single one of them who would get into a fight, even after drinking. You know why? Because they are not friggin’ idiots.

In fact, I use that as a qualifying method when it comes to hanging out with people. If you are the type who is going to get into a fight, I am not going to hang out with you. Why? Because I am not a friggin’ idiot

As a martial artist, I know how fragile the human body is and how easy it is to inflict some real damage to a person. As a martial arts instructor, I try to instill in my students that sense of responsibility and restraint. As a humorist and comedian, I try to resolve or remove myself from situations with humor. As a person who is not a friggin’ idiot, I plan on never getting in a fight, ever.

This is the kind of story that makes me embarrassed to be a sports fan, a Philadelphian, and, frankly, a human being.

Let me try to pull out a lesson here, as obvious at it may be.

Lesson: For the Love of God, THINK!

I often talk about the process of improvising with anything and how to make good decisions in the moment. One of the key principles there is to think in terms of outcomes and big picture. This story is a sad example of what happens when you take the situation of not doing this to the logical (or seemingly illogical) extreme.

The key is you have to really think. If someone had told these guys right before getting in the fight, “hey man, think down the road,” chances are nothing would have changed. That’s because they wouldn’t have really thought things through. When you do, you start to realize how stupid some of the decisions you make, or are about to make, are.

You may never be in a situation where you need to decide whether you should get in a fight (I hope not). But let’s bring this back to situations that you probably do encounter…

How do you respond when a customer is rude to you? Do you smile it off and humorously vent with co-workers later, or do you respond with rudeness (which leads to supervisor involvement and potential negative feedback, suspension, or dismissal)? How do you respond to prospect objections during a sales cycle? With a positive “yes, and” as you try to move them forward or with frustration, irritation, or depression? If you’ve had a bad day at work and, when you get home, your spouse says something stupid, do you laugh it off and explain to them that you have had a bad day or do you snap at them, ruining everyone’s evening and then having to spend hours or days patching things up?

Training yourself to make good decisions in the moment can and will have a huge positive impact on your life. It’s not that hard, it just takes some practice.

Bonus Lesson

Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever resort to physical violence unless it is 100% self-defense.

If you’re sitting there thinking about explaining to me why it’s important to fight in these inconsequential situations (and not thinking about changing), please, don’t email me, don’t buy my products, don’t hire me to speak, and for the love of God, watch all sporting events from the comfort of your own home….

About

By Avish Parashar. As the world's only Motivational Improviser, Avish uses techniques from the world of improv comedy to engage, entertain, and educate audiences on ideas around change, creativity, and motivation. Connect with Avish on Google+

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