Simple Rule When Asking For a Favor: Don’t Be a Dumbass

There are few better ways to damage a professional relationship than to ask for a favor and then screw over the person doing you the favor. And yet, like all things so stupid you would say, “that would never happen,” it sadly does…

Every year around May or June, the big Wizards Convention comes to Philadelphia. This is an awesomely nerdy comic book type convention, and it is a sight to behold. (Yes, I went this year. Yes, I bought stuff. No, I am not going to tell you what I bought…)

The convention covers much more than comics – games, role-playing, sci-fi, and video games.

As part of the video game coverage, the convention were going to have a panel discussion about the video game industry. About a month before the event, the original speakers dropped out. The guy organizing the event (let’s call him Frank) needs to find a replacement program, so Frank calls his friend Mike who has a business writing music for video games. As a favor to Frank, Mike agrees to a) be on a panel on “Breaking Into the Industry” b) run the panel and c) pull from his contacts to fill the rest of the panel. Frank is very appreciative. For now.

Mike does what he is supposed to and puts the panel together and sends Frank a write up for the program and website a week later. Sounds fine right? This is where things start to fall apart…

The week of the event, Mike checks the website. Not only is his write-up not listed, but they actually still have the old description up! You know, the one from the guys who dropped out a month ago. Perhaps there is a marketing stratagem here that I am missing, but to me this sounds like pure dumbassery.

Mike emails Frank about this, saying, “hey, if you actually want people to attend, you need to update the site.” Nothing helpful comes of this.

The morning of the panel, Mike checks the website again – surprise surprise! Still the old info. So anyone who went to the website would have no idea that this panel was even going on.

Hmm, maybe this isn’t such a big deal because comic book fans and people interested in the video game industry aren’t all that tech savvy and likely to be online checking out the event they are attending, right? Right??

Well, there’s always the on-site program guide…

Mike gets to the event and checks the program and sure enough – still the old info! So it appears that unless attendees had phenomenal psychic abilities, no one would even know this panel was going on! This is a comic convention, so I suppose the chance that a psychic was actually there was higher than at, say, the American Etymologists Association Convention, but still, it’s a pretty slim chance.

But wait! It gets better…

Mike gets to the room where his session is being held. Normally break out rooms at conventions have nicely printed signage so people know what the sessions all about. You think they had that for his room? Nope! Instead, they had a piece of paper taped to the door with the name of the session.

But wait! It gets better…

Here’s what the sign said: “Braking Into the Industry”

Read that again. That’s not my typo, that’s what it said. “Braking.” “BRAKING!”

So you not only don’t post the info on the website, you don’t add the info to the program, you don’t print out a sign, but to top it all off you MISSPELL the word “Breaking??” So a casual passer-by would think this is what – a session on how to slow down your progress as you enter the video game industry?

Dumbass.

Suffice it to say, no one – that’s right, no one – attended the session.

But wait! It gets better…

At this point, Mike has had enough so he asks for Frank. One or two minions later, Frank appears, and Mike lets him know all the ways he drops the ball.

What do you think Frank does? That’s right, he makes excuses! “Well, attendance has been low,” and “things have been really busy.” No apologies, no ownership, and no, “ok, here’s what we’re going to do.” Just excuses.

Guess who dropped to the bottom of Mike’s “people I will do things for and recommend” list…

The lessons:

Lesson #1 – Don’t Screw Over the People Who Are Doing You a Favor!

The most egregious thing here is that Mike was doing Frank a favor. He called up Mike when he needed something after the first speakers dropped. Mike agreed to help him out, put the panel together, and donate his time both in advance and on that day. On top of that, Mike was reaching out to his contacts, which means he was putting his reputation out there.

It’s pretty apparent that once Mike said “ok,” Frank stopped thinking about him. To Frank it was just one item he could cross off his “to-do” list. Sadly, I have seen this happen before far too often. When someone needs something from you they are responsive, communicative, and eager. Once you agree to give them what they want, they disappear. I don’t think they are malicious people, I just think they are dumbasses who lose sight of the big picture and forget about the people who have helped them succeed.

Don’t be that guy! If someone does you a favor, don’t ignore, neglect, or forget them. Do what you can to make them feel it was more than worth their while to help you out. Go out of your way to do everything you can to help them succeed as they help you.

Lesson #2 – Say Yes And!

Ding Happens. People know this. While people would prefer it didn’t, when it doesn, they just want someone to step up, take responsibility, and say, “here’s what we’re going to do.” That didn’t happen here. What did happen is the one thing no one wants or cares about when Ding Happens: excuses. Valid or not, no one cares about your excuses.

In improv comedy, this is the principle of “yes, and.” Resist the urge to say, “yes, but” (“yes, but this was not my fault because X,Y, & Z happened”) and instead say, “yes, and” (“yes this happened, and here’s the next step.”). It’s the simplest principle in the world, but so few people do it!

This shouldn’t be all that complicated: if you ask someone for a favor, be respectful, look out for their best interests, and maintain an attitude of appreciation. If something goes wrong, take responsibility and fix it. And for the love of God, learn how to spell “breaking.”