On this blog, and in my speeches, I use the phrase, “Ding! Happens.” If you have seen me speak, then you know exactly what I am talking about. If not, you may be confused. Here then is the explanation of “Ding! Happens.”

“Ding! Happens” means the same thing as, “Stuff Happens,” of more correctly, “[Insert your favorite expletive"] Happens.”

The “Ding!” comes from an improv comedy game that I play to start off my speaking programs. In it, I give an audience volunteer a bell, and then I begin telling a story. The volunteer can ring the bell (“Ding!”) anytime they want. When they do, I have to roll my story back, start repeating what I said, but change it to something different. For example:

“Once upon a time there was a girl who had a pet dog”
Ding!
“Once upon a time there was a girl who had a pet cat”
Ding!
“Once upon a time there was a girl who had a pet mouse”
Ding!
“Once upon a time there was a girl who had a pet llama”

Whatever. I can say anything I want, as long as it is different. If the volunteer doesn’t ring I just keep telling the story but only as if the last thing was said. So in this example the dog, cat, and mouse would all be gone, and we would have a story about a girl and her pet llama.

To see examples of this game inaction, visit the videos page

The game is fast, high-energy, and funny. The lesson from the game is that the universe acts in just the same way. You are moving nicely down one path and everything is coming along fine and then all of a sudden, “Ding!” the universe throws you a curve-ball and says, “here, deal with this.”

Anyone can do well when everything goes well. What separates people who succeed in the long run from those who fail or give up is how they respond to the unexpected when it happens – because it will!

So how do you respond when Ding Happens? I’m glad you asked…

The Step By Step Process to Improvising With Anything

When Ding! Happens the people who excel, succeed, and thrive, are the ones who react quickly and take powerful action. This is true for improv comedians performing for an audience or for non-performers going about their lives. The thing that allows great improviser to improvise effectively, on stage or off, is that they have conditioned themselves to react to the unexpected automatically in a way that keeps them out of paralysis and gets them moving forward. They may not even consciously know that they do this, but they do.

In my work as a performer and instructor of improv comedy, as well as my work speaking and training for organizations on how to apply improv comedy to their businesses, I have developed a simple but powerful step by step process that will allow anyone to improvise with anything that life throws at them. The process consists of two underlying mentalities followed by the three simple steps.

The process can be applied consciously at first, but over time the goal is to be so well versed in the process that it happens automatically, in every scenario. That is the key to being a fantastic improvisor.

The Process:

The Two Mentalities

1) Have Fun

You can not perform improv comedy if you are not willing to have fun (believe me, I have seen people try!) You can go through life without having fun, but why would you want to? Life is too short…

Having fun Is more than just a quality of life issue though. When you are having fun, you free up your creative power, you are more open to taking (calculated) risks, and you have more energy. Your ability to have fun directly impacts your performance.

Have you ever watched a sporting event on TV and heard the commentators say about the team that was winning, “they look like they are having fun out there?” Sometimes we think that they have fun because they are winning; the opposite is actually true. The more fun they have the more likely they are to win.

This is not to say that bad things won’t happen. They key is to realize that a) No matter how bad things are, your bad mood won’t change them and b) by relaxing and heaving fun you increase your chances of turning things around.

Great improvisers know how to focus on the fun even in tough times.

2) Be Willing to Fail

Improv is inherently a risky type of performance. You can’t pre-write and rehearse the lines you will say – after all, you are making it up on the spot! Every time you step out to do a show, you have no idea what will happen.

That level of risk makes many people terribly afraid of improvising. Sadly, the more afraid you are, the more likely you are to fail.

While great improvisers have trained in a way to reduce risk, that risk never completely goes away. The best improvisers accept that failure is a very real possibility, and then take action (and have fun) anyway. That willingness to mess it up actually decreases the likeliness of failure.

The same thing applies in the “real world.” If you approach a task with the fear of failure, you will get tense, stressed, and be unnatural. All of these things hamper your ability to perform well. Only when you let go of that fear can you do your best. And only by accepting that the worst may happen and if it does you will be fine can you let go of that fear.

Note: I am not saying that failure is ok. Failing can be very bad and can carry sever consequences. They key is to realize that while you are taking action you must accept the possibility of failure so it no longer has power over you. That is what great improvisers do.

Think of something you excel at. I am going to bet that you a)have fun doing it and b) aren’t afraid of messing it up. On the flip side, think of an area in your life where you feel weak at or you feel could use improvement. I will bet that you a) don’t have fun doing and probably get tense or down just thinking about it and b) put so much importance on it that you are terribly afraid of messing it up.

These two mentalities are universal. Develop them and you will be better at everything you do, even if you don’t learn or apply the three steps.

The Three Steps:

1) Know Your Outcomes

When ding happens, many people respond by working harder on what they were already doing. While hard work is admirable, this is a bad strategy. You see, when the unexpected occurs, our previous plans and tasks may become completely invalid. If we focus immediately on details or process, we may miss the big picture and end up wasting lots of time and energy. Great improvisers know that as soon as ding happens, they need to focus and evaluate their outcomes.

I learned this from my performing days. I have seen improv comedians who are technically proficient. They do everything right. But for some reason, they are just not that much fun to watch. On the flip side, I have seen improvisers who aren’t technically perfect. They make some mistakes. But they are ridiculously entertaining. Guess who I want in my group? I learned that the goal of a comedy show is to entertain and make the audience laugh. The improv games and skills were tools to accomplish that. This doesn’t mean that I would want to work with someone who was technically awful (I think great skills are the key to great entertainment). But if I have to choose between technically sound and amazingly entertaining vs. technically amazing and just “sound” in terms of entertainment, I am going with the first choice because that fits the outcome!

When the unexpected occurs (and it will) your first response should be to immediately focus on your outcome. What do you want to accomplish? What is your goal? Quite often, the unexpected event will have changed the outcome. Sometimes the unexpected event will actually open a new and better path to your outcome. By re-focusing immediately you ensure that you will always be taking the right action at the right time.

2) Focus on What You Can Control, Let Go of the Rest

The second step is to focus on what you can control and let go of the rest. So many people waste so much time focusing on things they have no control over. This includes:

• Stressing over what someone else will say or do
• Worrying about what might happen in the future
• Complaining about something that happened in the past
• Hoping a situation will turn out a certain way
• Blaming others for mistakes they made

All of these are examples of putting your attention on things you can not control.

The only thing you can control is what you do, right now. That’s it.

When ding happens, great improvisers put their attention immediately and exclusively on what they can do right now in this moment. That is the key to quickly and powerfully dealing with the unexpected. There is a time and place to lay accountability, examine past mistakes, think about the future. That time is not immediately when ding happens. That time is later, once the crisis is resolved.

Great improvisers know and apply this. People who don’t get this waste precious time and energy focusing on all the wrong things.

3) Say “Yes, And,” Instead of “Yes, But”

One of the core principles to great improv comedy is to say, “yes, and” to your partners. This means that when a fellow performer says something you say, “yes,” to accept their idea and then say, “and’ to add your own input and build off of it.

Sadly, many people say, “yes, but” instead of “yes, and.” “Yes, but” is basically a semi-polite way of saying “no.” Saying “yes but” leads to bad improvisation, on stage or in life.

Here’s why: “yes, but” keeps you stuck exactly where you are. There is no progress, no movement, and no growth. Along those lines, “yes, but” keeps you fixated on the problem.

“Yes, and” is the way to move forward, grow, and progress. When you say “yes, and” you are taking action and switching your attention on to the solution.

Think about a time when someone “yes, butted” you. It probably felt pretty bad, like they were disrespecting you or arguing with you. That’s what “yes, but is,” a negative argument. “Yes, and” is positive and collaborative.

This is not to say that you simply say, “yes,” with everything presented to you, even if you don’t agree. The idea of “yes, and” is a mental technique, not a literal one. The key to “yes, anding” is to think “yes, and” first. Hear someone out. be open to new ideas. Take some chances. You can then later on say, “no,” or “but,” after you have given things a chance. Most people start with “yes, but” and then need to be convinced otherwise. To be a great improviser, you need to start with “yes, and” and then, after thinking things through, later on you can decide to say no.

There you have it. The simple but powerful step by step process to improvising with anything. The next time Ding! Happens try these steps and watch yourself deal with things quickly, powerfully, and with a sense of humor.

***
For information on how to make your next event unforgettable, visit Avish’s Conference Speaker page now!
 

Say "Yes, And!" - Coming out January, 2012!

Yesterday I announced that my new book, “Say ‘Yes, And!’” is coming out in January, 2012.

It is 99% done, but I need YOUR HELP to make the final product as strong and useful as possible!

Please take 30 seconds and leave a comment below with your answer to one or more of the following question(s):

• What would you like to see in a book about saying, “yes, and” instead of “yes, but”?
• What questions do you have about saying, “yes, and” to yourself, to others, and to opportunities?
• What critical lessons and ideas about saying, “yes, and” do you think the rest of the world needs to hear?

Thanks so much for your help!

Say "Yes, And!"

Twenty years of improv comedy experience. Eight years speaking to companies and associations on applying improv to business and life. All boiled down to one big idea, contained in two little words: Yes, And!

And now you can learn all about that big idea in my new book: Say “Yes, And!”

Over my many years speaking to and working with groups and individuals, there has been one idea that audiences, clients, and readers keep mentioning as THE single most important, most useful takeaway:

The simple power of saying, “Yes, And” instead of, “yes, but.”

If you want to learn a simple technique that will transform your business, career, organization, relationships, and life, this is it.

I am really proud of the final product. Rather than focusing on hundreds of different ideas and techniques, this book hammers home the one idea that thousands of audience members have resonated with. By the end of this book, you will be sold on the effectiveness of adding more “Yes, And” to your life.

Here’s the back cover description:

When Can I Get It?

Mid-to-late January. More details coming soon…

Be sure to subscribe either to my mailing list (use the form on the right side of this web page) or to this blog (click here to sign up via RSS), because there are going to be some great opportunities to get free copies and fabulous bonus prizes leading up to the launch!

ATTENTION MEDIA, BLOGGERS, AND LIST OWNERS

Do you have a column, show, mailing list, or blog audience? Would you like to do a feature, an interview, a review, or post an excerpt? Please let me know by contacting me now.

Stay Tuned!

There’s more to come in the next few weeks (but don’t worry – I’ll still be posting “regular” blog posts too!). For now, sit back, relax, and watch the video below to learn more about the idea of saying, “Yes, And!” (the “Yes, And” part starts at 3:51)

The first ever Motivational Smart Ass contest is now officially over, and we have a winner!

I want to thank everyone who participated. This being my first time trying this, I honestly had no idea how it would go. I’m excited to say that I am super happy with the participation and results!

There were 59 entries! If you missed the original post and want to read all of them, you can do so by clicking here.

Before we get to the winner, I want to give out a few…

Honorable Mentions: 

Most Groan Inducing

185 is designed to be a groan eliciting game. But a few went above and beyond:

185 Physics teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we don’t serve teachers here

The teachers say “Please.”

The bartender says, “well OK, But I’m keeping my ion you.”

- Palmo

185 osteology teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we’re not serving liquor to teachers today.” The teachers say, “How ’bout to marrow?”

- Charlie

185 teachers walk into a bar. the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.” But as teachers, we just want you to “Beer all you can Be.”

-  Ruthie

Best Pop Culture Reference

If you’ve read this blog for a bit, you know I love me some pop culture. So I have to reward this one:

185 teachers walk into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve teachers here.” The teachers say, “Bartender. Bartender. Bartender.” And the bartender finally says, “Here.”

- Rick

(For those not so pop culture inclined, that’s a Ferris Bueller’s Day Off reference).

Nerdiest:

I’m a nerd, so I had to give it up for this one:

185 math teachers walk into a bar

The bartender says, we can only serve 3.14159 of you here

The teachers say “can you repeat that?”

The bartender says, “don’t be irrational – that can’t happen.”

-Palmo

That’s just chock full o’ nerdy goodness!

Greatest Volume

I said you were allowed to submit multiple entries, and some people took that to heart.

The greatest volume, by a landslide,  was Ruthie , with 37(!!). Well done!

Palmo also deserves a shout out for breaking into double digits with 11. Nice!

First Response

Thanks to Michelle for submitting the first entries. It can be a weird to enter a submission onto an empty board, so I a) congratulate for doing it and b) thank you for getting the ball rolling!

The Runner Ups 

Lots of great ones to choose from. The following two came oh so close:

185 dyslexic teachers walk into a bra.

- Palmo

(I love this one, but you could swap out teachers with any other profession and it would be the same joke. But it made me laugh…)

185 teachers walk into a bar and start banging into things, walking into walls, accidentally knocking over tables. Finally, the bartender gets pissed and grabs one of the teachers and screams: “What the hell do you guys think you are doing?!?” 

The teacher looks up, and freaks out the bartender, showing only white in his eyes.

“Sorry sir,” he says “we have no pupils.”

-Nye

The Winner

And now for your winner:

185 teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve teachers here. The teacher says, “Yea, a Mind is a terrible thing to be wasted.”

This one is great because it fits in with teachers, it plays off a pop culture reference (the old United Negro College Fund commercials), it uses the double being of the word “wasted,” and it seems obvious after the fact. Plus, it made me think of Dan Quayle, which is inherently funny.

- Ruthie

Congratulations Ruthie, and thanks to everyone who participated!

***
Do you want help making better long term decisions? How about help figuring out what exactly it is that you want? Or maybe you know, but your problem is that you don’t know how to put together a plan to get you there?  Or perhaps you have a plan, but never feel motivated to follow it? Or you jyst get easily derailed when things go wrong? If so, than the Smart Ass Success! Learn the 7 Steps to Getting What You Really Want – Even If You Have No Idea What That Is! FREE E-Book is for you! It addresses those questions (and more) to help you get on the path towards figuring out what you really want – and then getting it! Don’t let another year pass you by. Click here to download your free copy now!

I tend to surf the web more than I should (you might call it, “procrastinating”). Rather than letting all that idle time be a complete waste, I decided to compile the interesting stuff I came across and share it with you.

Enjoy!

Life Lessons From 40 Films in 7 Minutes

Some fan edited together a video that combines self-help/motivation/personal development movie lines into one seven minute short. If you like movies and inspiration (and ridiculous thing) this is for you!

Read more…

When Is It Due?

Short little post on Set Godin’s blog. I just love the last two lines: “When it’s you against the boss, the goal is to do less work. When it’s you against the project, the goal is to do more work.”

Read more…

Motivational Smart Ass Contest

Yes, I am linking to my own blog post from Wednesday. I am running a contest on my blog – check it out, play along, and you could win a copy of my book, Improvise to Success!

Read more and submit an entry…

TroloLord of the Rings

Just for fun, here’s a video that combines two of my favorite things:

1. The Lord of the Rings movies.
2. The Trololo Guy internet meme.

Marine Lands Date with Mila Kunis

Here’s a cool story about a Marine who made a YouTube video asking actress Mila Kunis to his Marine Corps. Ball. The video went viral, and Mila said yes!

There’s a cool lesson about saying, “Yes, And” here:

1. The marine said, “Yes, And” to himself and went ahead and posted the video, even though it was a ridiculous long-shot and he could have gotten teased for it.
2. Mila said, “Yes, And” to his offer even though she doesn’t know him and gets no direct benefit from it.

As a result of saying, “Yes, And,” the marine got a date with Mila Kunis and Mila Kunis has gotten a ton of positive press.

Yes And can be a very powerful thing indeed…

Read more…

10 Reasons You Hate to Cook

Frankly, I don’t really care if you hate to cook. However, this is an interestingly article. When you look closely at it, you realize that all ten reasons can be boiled down to three things:

1. You’re not good at it (so learn, practice, and get better)
2. You have the wrong materials – tools and food (so learn what you need and get them)
3. You set your expectations too high (so lower the bar and go for smaller wins to build experience and momentum)

Those three reasons can pretty much explain why you hate doing anything. So, if there’s something you hate doing but want to or need to do, then learn how to do it and get better, make sure you have the right equipment, and focus on small wins. Simple, right?

Read more…

Harry Potter Humor

Another nerdy funny one. Since the newest (and last) Harry Potter movie comes out today, I figure why not end with a good bit of Harry Potter humor?

If you, like me, like the Harry Potter franchise and have always been amused by the word, “Hufflepuff,” then you’ll enjoy this video too:

P.S. Hey, if you like this post, why don’t you share the love and click the Facebook “Like” button at the top of this page…?

***
Do you want help making better long term decisions? How about help figuring out what exactly it is that you want? Or maybe you know, but your problem is that you don’t know how to put together a plan to get you there?  Or perhaps you have a plan, but never feel motivated to follow it? Or you jyst get easily derailed when things go wrong? If so, than the Smart Ass Success! Learn the 7 Steps to Getting What You Really Want – Even If You Have No Idea What That Is! FREE E-Book is for you! It addresses those questions (and more) to help you get on the path towards figuring out what you really want – and then getting it! Don’t let another year pass you by. Click here to download your free copy now!

It’s Contest Time!

As you may or may not know, my background is in improv comedy. As a professional speaker, I show audiences how they can use improv comedy ideas to think quickly, communicate better, and react quickly to change. I wrote a book on it – Improvise to Success – and now you have a chance to win a copy for free!

That’s right, to try something different here at the Motivational Smart Ass, I have decided to run an improv comedy themed contest!

The contest is based on an improv game called 185.

In the game, the performers take a suggestion and turn it into a “stock” joke. The format of the joke is:
“185 _______’s walk into a bar.
The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve ______’s here.
The _______’s say “[insert punchline].”

Example:

Get it? Appeal. As in, “peal.” Bananas have peals…

Here’s another one:

Get it? Shots. Because doctors administer shots. And a shot is also a type of drink.

Yes, these are groan inducing jokes usually filled with puns. That’s the point.

In this contest, all you have to do is come up with a punchline for a 185 joke. I’ll provide the topic.

Your 185 contest topic: Teachers.

(Yes, this is in honor of a friend of mine. You know who you are…)

Here are the simple rules:

1. Post your best 185 in the comments below.
2. Remember, it will be “185 Teachers walk into a bar. The bartender says ‘sorry, we don’t serve teachers here.’ The teacher’s say, ‘[punchline]’”
3. Feel free to tweak the format of the 185 joke if it makes your line funnier.
4. Puns, play on words, double entendres, etc. are all welcome – the more groan inducing, the better.
5. Keep it PG though, please. I’ll delete out any offensive submissions.
6. You can post as many submissions as you like
7. You have until 11:59 PM, Monday night.
8. I will pick a winner based on a vague criteria that involves how funny it is, originality, and which one happens to tickly my fancy.
9. In order to win, you can’t post anonymously – I need your email to let you know you won, and make sure it is you (no one else can see your email address)
10. Whether you post a submission or not, feel free to comment on other people’s submissions and lobby for which one you think it the best (positive only please – I’ll delete out any negative comments on people’s ideas.)
11. I’ll announce the winner on Tuesday (subscribe to the blog via RSS or email to see who wins!).
12. Winner gets a copy of my book, Improvise to Success! If you’re in the U.S. you have your choice of a physical book or PDF. International winners get the PDF.

This is what you're playing for...

That’s it! Do your best, don’t over think it, and most importantly, have fun!

Here’s some cool news: My book, Improvise to Success!, is now available for sale on Amazon.com. You can get it here:

Click the image to buy it on Amazon now!

Check out the link and pick up a copy now (and a few for your friends too!).

If you’ve already read the book, please leave a review on the site.

Note: If you were to buy the ebook directly from me, I you would get a few electronic bonuses. So, if you email me your receipt by next Friday, April 15^th, I’ll send you the bonus PDF books myself!

Most people who have any sales training or experience understand the concept of selling benefits, not features. However, have you ever considered going beyond both of those and instead focusing on selling change?

I recently read “Selling Change” by Brett Clay. This is a book on (as you might have guessed) sales. However, rather than following some of the traditional sales models, this book elevates selling to a process of helping other people make the changes that they need to improve their lives or businesses.

Full disclosure: I met Brett Clay at a conference last year, and we have been friendly since. He’s a really great guy, and I’ll be honest: if I hated his book, I wouldn’t post a negative review. Fortunately, I don’t have that problem, because I really enjoyed his book and think there is a lot that anyone involved in selling anything can benefit from.

(For more information, you can listen to an audio of Brett interviewing me on the concept of applying improv comedy to business and life)

The Idea

The book’s primary message is that salespeople must look beyond talking about features, espousing benefits, and solving problems, and start helping customers “change.” It is a great way of re-framing the sales process in a way that leads to a consultive selling approach.

There’s quite a bit of information in the book. Brett covers, among other things,:

• The Change Leadership Framework, which explains what makes people change, how do they decide to change, and how they make those changes
• How to conduct a Force Field Analysis, where you understand all the forces affecting the customer.
• The Change Response Analysis, which is all about how the customer responds to the forces acting on them.
• Six personality types that respond to change differently
• The Power Analysis, where you figure out the effort involved in change (a critical understanding if you are going to expect someone else to make a change you want)
• Value Creation, which is the process of demonstrating the value of change to the client or prospect
• Change Actuation, where you actually put the change in motion.

There’s a lot more in there, and it’s all good stuff.

The Book Itself

The book is extremely well written and laid out. It Is made up of 107 “secrets for growing sales and leading change.”

Each secret is presented in exactly two pages, and is broken into three segments:

• What I need to know
• What I need to do
• Action summary

Two pages is not a lot of room, but somehow Brett manages to pack a lot of info in there. Many of the secrets cover deep topics, reference studies and research, or tell complete real life stories. That’s definitely a strong point: the balance between in-depth information and ease of reading.

Relation to Improv Comedy

What struck me is how many concepts in Brett’s book are similar to my approach of applying improv comedy ideas to business and life LINK.

Yes, this is a shameless plug for my own book too...

We both address change. The difference is, my work focuses on how you deal with unexpected change quickly and effectively. Brett addresses how you can be a leader of change. Actually, his point is that if you want to succeed in today’s world, you must be a change leader. Then he explains in detail how to do it.

In my presentations, I talk about how change is inevitable, and how, to be successful, you can’t whine about it, you have to learn how to react to and flow with it. Brett takes it even a step further by saying, “opportunity only comes with change.”

Makes sense when you think about it. If you are sitting there doing the same thing day after day, waiting for opportunities to come along, you’re in for a long, struggling life. If you want to move ahead, you need to create change, both for yourself and others.

I believe if you read Brett’s book in light of some of the improv ideas I talk about in my book, blog, and presentations, you will get even more out of it.

Yes And

The greatest similarity between Selling Change and improv comedy comes in the form of improv’s idea of saying, “Yes, And.”

(If you are unfamiliar with the idea of “yes, and,” in improv comedy there is a simple rule: “say ‘yes, and’ instead of ‘yes, but.’” For more information on “yes, and,” as well as 4 other improv principles, check out my blog post, The Step by Step Process to Improvising With Anything)

At its core, “yes, and” is about making change. “Yes, but” is about resisting change. If you want to find the opportunity that only comes with change, you have to be willing to say “yes and.” If you want other people to invest in your services and products, you must move them to change by getting them to adopt a “yes, and” mindset.

In Conclusion

There really is a wealth of knowledge here, and it may seem overwhelming, especially for someone who is looking for a simple, “1-2-3 system” to sales success. Personally, I prefer a lot of information that explains both the “how and “why.” In fact, to be able to implement the “Selling Change” method, I believe you have to have a deep understanding of the ideas along with a willingness to work the process.

But that’s the point; transactional selling is being taken over by websites. To be able to offer real value to a client, we must help them change, and in order to do that we need a deep understanding of both the client and the change process. “Selling Change” gives plenty of information on how understand both of those things, and then gives action steps for what do with that knowledge.

If you are looking for a smart, in depth, and effective book on sales (or, frankly, a good book that analyzes what makes people change and how you can leverage that information), then I heartily recommend you pick up, “Selling Change.” You won’t be disappointed.

Buy it on Amazon:

Selling Change by Brett Clay

(Disclaimer: yes, that’s my Amazon affiliate link, so if you buy it from there I make something like $1.32…)

***
Learn the 16 simple but powerful principles that will lead to personal and professional success! In this 200 page book, Avish explains how the ideas from improv comedy can make your life easier and more successful. Check it out Improvise to Success! now!
 

In Vino Veritas!

Translated: “Truth in Wine!”

Of course, in order for the Veritas to come out, you have to be able to get to the Vino…

I discovered this lesson a few years ago, when I decided it was time to throw a wine party. The plan was to invite a bunch of friends over and taste a wide variety of wines.

Pretentious? Absolutely. But keep in mind, I run a blog called the Motivational Smart Ass – how high class do you think any affair I throw would be?

I procured a wide assortment of wines, and my friends brought their own samplings as well. The party began, and we opened the first bottle (a very nice Gavi, if memory serves correctly). It was delicious. It was also a screw top, which was a good thing…

We moved on to wine number 2, which had a traditional cork. Fortunately, I had a corkscrew. Unfortunately, the corkscrew was not made of reinforced titanium steel.

Yes, you guessed it. I screwed the corkscrew into the wine, and as I was pulling it out – SNAP! The corkscrew broke in half.

I know what you’re thinking, because it’s the first thing I thought:

“Avish, surely you had another corkscrew somewhere?”

Shockingly, I did not. I have accumulated more junk than I know what to do with. I have a graveyard of kitchen accoutrements that I rarely, if ever use. This includes a salad spinner. Yes, I, who make my own salad with the same frequency that the housemates on the Jersey Shore stay in for the night curled up with a good book, own a salad spinner. My wine to salad consumption ratio is something like 1,825 to 1, yet at the time I had exactly one salad spinner and one corkscrew. Sadly, wine bottles can not be opened with salad spinners.

IMG – SALAD SPINNER

I know what you’re thinking now, because it’s what I thought of next:

“Avish, surely one of your friends would be the type that would carry around a pocket knife with a corkscrew on it, right?”

I know, you look at me and I look like the type of person who would have friends with bottle openers and corkscrews in their pockets, or purses, or on their key-chains. Maybe 10 years ago, but now everyone’s grown up and has kids, and responsibilities. Plus, for those who fly, the TSA has made it relatively impractical to keep a small stabbing device on your keychain. One day you’ll forget to take the corkscrew off your keychain before flying and BOOM! The next thing you know, you’re being fondled by one disgruntled employee while another rifles through the underwear in your carry-on bag… I would not recommend trying to take a corkscrew on a flight.

So I had no extra corkscrew, and neither did any of my guests.

I looked at the table where we had laid out all the wine and assessed the situation:

• This is a wine party
• We have only had one bottle of wine so far
• My corkscrew is broken
• About 80% of the remaining bottles have traditional corks in them.

This was a problem…

Wine, wine, everywhere, and not a drop to drink...

Being strong improvisers, we jumped into action. Of course, we didn’t jump into unified action. No, we somehow broke into three pairs, each with a different strategy for how to address the broken corkscrew situation (the others at the party just sat back and watched the mayhem ensue. The one person there who doesn’t drink and wasn’t going to have any wine was tickled pink at how desperate a group of adults can be when faced with a table full of wine and no corkscrew).

Before reading further, consider what your first solution would be here.

No, I mean it, really take a second and think about it, it will be important later.

Got it?

Ok, good. Now you can keep reading…

The Procurement Team

A friend and I both knew the best course of action: we needed to run out and buy a new corkscrew. There was CVS nearby which would surely have corkscrews. The thing was, it was almost eight o’clock, which I thought was near this store’s closing time. We quickly called and found out that:

1. Yes, they do sell corkscrews and
2. Yes, they were closing in five minutes.

There was no time to delay! The CVS was only a five minute walk away, but we couldn’t risk it. Instead, the two of us ran down to my car and drive to the CVS.

(I know what you’re thinking, but no, driving was fine. Remember, this was very early in the evening, after we had had only one glass of wine).

We got to the CVS right before it closed and my friend ran in and bought not one, but two corkscrews (smart – he bought a backup). We had our corkscrew. Crisis averted.

We returned home, only to discover that strange things had been afoot in our absence…

The Academic Team

The answer must be in here somewhere...

While we were buying a replacement, two other people immediately hopped on-line and started researching “how to open wine without a corkscrew.” Amazingly, Google returns 231,000 results for that search.

Ah, Google, is there anything you can’t do?”

Well, there is one thing Google can’t do: come up with a sane way for people who have been drinking to open wine without a corkscrew.

Some of the idea you’ll find on Google include:

1. Using a screw, screwdriver and hammer
2. Wrapping the bottom of the bottle in a towel and whacking it against a flat surface, like a wall or phone book up against a tree!
3. Digging a small knife into the cork and slowly working it out.

(You may be shocked to hear that there were no solutions involving the use of a salad spinner).

The problem with all of these suggestions is that they are wonderful ways of opening your first bottle of wine at someone else’s home. But tell me – would you want someone who had even had just a couple of glasses of wine to try any of these solutions in your house??

I am not sure which would be the worst option amongst the three. The hammer version would probably lead to household destruction. The whacking method would surely lead to a shattered bottle. And the knife method? I can only guess at the blood bath that would ensue when a 0.05 BAC, a paring knife, and a tough cork met for the first time.

Of course, this was the method my friends had settled on: using a knife to remove the cork.

You can almost hear the Looney Tunes music in the background…

Um, would you want this guy opening your wine..?

Fortunately, I returned home with the new corkscrew before they had a chance to test the knife method. Crisis (and potential death) averted.

Of course, there was a reason they had not yet tried to open the wine with a knife. That’s because another solution had presented itself…

The Relationship Team

Two other people at the party offered up another innovative solution:

They went to the apartment next door and asked if they could borrow a corkscrew.

The guy said yes.

Crisis averted.

Color me stupid….

Ok, I’ll admit it, I was a little embarrassed when I discovered that they had come up with a simple solution that was free, took ten seconds to implement, and that I had completely overlooked.

Regardless of how silly I felt, the end result is that it ended up being a kick ass wine party. Now we had not one, not two, but three corkscrews to open wine with. Plus, we had two people who were 100% convinced they could open a bottle of wine with a paring knife (or phone book and tree…).

Looking back, the whole experience was somewhat enlightening. Here we had an unexpected problem and three completely different approaches to solving it. I think there is a lot to learn from this experience.

Here are four Veritas I learned about how to keep kicking ass even when things go wrong from my experience with the Vino:

Pausing and Thinking is a Good Idea

Meditation is optional, but a little thought can go a very long way

I’m all for action. Nothing gets done until someone takes some action. When Ding Happens, you’ll often get an immediate idea for a solution. However, just because that was the first thing you thought of, that doesn’t mean that’s your best or smartest solution.

It’s usually a good idea to pause, take a step back and breathe, and then think through your options. You may end up going with your first thought, but many times you’ll be able to come up with a simpler, better, and faster solution.

A few moments of thought before running out the door to the CVS and we wouldn’t have needed to waste a trip.

Question: When Ding Happens, do you jump into the first action that comes to mind or do you take a moment to think through your options?

There is Power in Teamwork

What's gonna work? Teeeeeeeaaaaaaammmmmmwork...

For those of you who think you can do it all on your own, remember, in this story, we had three different pairs of people who all came up with three different solutions.

If it had been me alone, I would have stuck to my, “buying a new corkscrew’ strategy and missed the other options.

This is one of the reasons why teams are useful: they allow you to have a group of people who will see things the others miss. They bring different backgrounds, perspectives, and approaches to solving problems. Don’t discount them just because they have different ideas from you.

Never underestimate the power of someone else’s perspective. Even if you think you have all the answers, it’s worth getting a little help from your friends…

Question: Open and willing are you to listen to other people’s advice and get their perspective?

There is Power in a Team of Individuals

Sometimes working alone first can lead to the best team solutions

I read a book (I believe it was The Invisible Gorilla) that stated that the best way to get ideas and solutions from a group of people was to have each person come up with ideas on their own, and then share them.

This allows each individual to tap into their creativity without being biased or bullied by other people’s opinion. In many group situations, individuals may just go along with the “leader” or strongest opinion rather than speak up or think of their own ideas. By allowing people to create on their own first, you eliminate this dynamic.

This is what happened with our wine situation. Without doing it intentionally, we broke into three groups who worked on the problem separately and came up with their own ideas. Each idea was different and still valid (yes, even the knife one).

If everyone had just listened to me (since it was my party) when I said, “Ok, we’re going to buy a new corkscrew,” we never would have had the other ideas. In this case, it didn’t make much difference since the first solution worked.

Questions: How many good ideas might you be letting pass you by because you are forcing people to collaborate in a way that stifles their creativity?

Try this as an experiment: The next time you are going to brainstorm a solution with a group, start by having each person come up with some ideas on their own. Use those ideas as a starting point for your group collaboration.

Understand Your Bias

Doing things your way is fine. Until it isn't.

Chances are that you have a solution bias. When things go wrong, you probably have a preferred strategy you use to solve the problem.

In this story, we saw three different strategies:

• The Money Strategy – What can I spend money on to solve this problem?
• The Learner Strategy – What do I need to learn to solve this problem?
• The Relationship Strategy – Who can I ask for help to solve this problem?

There are other strategies as well. Here are a few:

• The Flowing Strategy – How can I change course to make this problem irrelevant?
• The One Step at a Time Strategy – What little piece of this problem can I solve right now?
• The Meditation Strategy – Where can I go to think and reflect on the problem?
• The Action Strategy – What can I do right now that’s at least somewhat related?
• The Anger Strategy – Who can I yell at to solve this problem?
• The Ostrich Strategy – How can I ignore this problem until it goes away?
• The Happy Hour Strategy – Where can I get a drink to forget about this problem?
• The Buck Passing Strategy – Who can I hand this problem off to?
• The Woe is Me Strategy – Who can I complain to (and how loudly) to make me feel better about this problem?
• The Quitting Strategy – How can I just give up?

(Please add your ideas for additional strategies in the comments section below!)

As you can see, there are some good strategies and some not so good ones.

Chances are that one, or maybe two, of these are your default strategy. When something goes wrong, your first instinct is always the same. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it may be limiting.

There is no best strategy. Some are clearly destructive, but many are valid. Some are better in some situations than others. Your default may not always be the best course of action.

Once you understand:

1. What your default strategy is.
2. What some of the other approaches are…

..You will be able to catch yourself when you get into “tunnel vision” style thinking and then step back and see if there is a better way.

Question: What is your default strategy when Ding Happens? Are there other strategies you need to remember to consider that may be more effective in some situations?

You may never find yourself hosting a wine party with a broken corkscrew. I certainly hope you don’t. But sadly, you will surely find yourself facing unexpected challenges and problems from time to time. Take a moment now to reflect on how you currently handle them so that you may be better able to handle challenges in the future.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the mood for a glass of wine, and I need to find a phone book and tree to get the bottle open…

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You do realize that this topic (how to stay on track when things go wrong) is the premise of Avish’s speaking presentations and training workshops, right? If you and/or your team, department, or organization could use more awesome advice about kicking ass even when things go wrong, then you need to check out Avish’s Motivational Humorist page now!

Your own personal development training should start with adopting two powerful mindsets. In this video I explain how how the combination of your ability to have fun and your willingness to fail can tremendously improve your performance, productivity, and ability.

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Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Motivational Humorist page now!